Christmas seems empty without my parents

[Paula]

Hi everyone, just wondering whether anyone else feels the same way about this.  I lost my Dad a couple of months ago and my Mum five years ago, and I now feel like a lost and alone little girl, even though I'm well and truly into adulthood.  I used to adore Christmas and my Mum always made it special, cooking turkey and pudding and the works, and the whole family including my siblings and their partners and children would get together and celebrate in my parents home.  It just felt very warm and nurturing for my spirit at that time of year and I always looked forward to it.  But since my Mum passed away, and now particularly since losing my Dad, I just can't 'feel' Christmas anymore.  It seems empty and I feel like I've been 'robbed' of Christmas.  To make matters worse we no longer have the family home to celebrate Christmas in and my brother isn't that interested in sharing the day with my sister and I, he just seems to want to share it with his own family even though I've invited them to my place for the day.  It's like the bottom of my world has completely fallen away.  I know it's only one day of the year and I have to stop pining for 'the good ol' days', but it's an extra loss for me that's compounded the loss of my parents and I feel devastated.  

Just want to know if anyone else has felt that way or maybe I should just toughen up and get on with things.

[ModKonnie]

Paula,

I am so sorry you are suffering through the holiday like this. So many people share the same feeling about the holidays after loved ones pass. Perhaps it's time to start a new tradition by yourself. Do something different--like volunteer or go on a trip. It's hard to "toughen up and get on with things," when it's something that used to be so special and important with wonderful memories. Perhaps it's time to make new and wonderful memories. 

We will be here with you,

ModKonnie

[cindyjane]

Hugs Paula

 

I am so sorry for your losses.  I lost both parents as well and Christmas along with other special occasions just aren't the same.  I doubt they every will be.  Parents are the glue in a family and when they are gone things get different.  I totally understand when you say that you feel like a lost and little girl.  I am in my 50's and when my parents left us, I felt like and orphan.  All of this is because of the deep love that we have for our parents.  Gratefully that love will never leave us and I find that as time goes by, the sadness lifts and those memories get me feeling grateful and happy that I have such good memories.  Sadly some families don't have that closeness.  Take care Paula and try to think about what your parents would want for you.  I am sure that they would want you to enjoy peace and feel love through Christmas and every other day of the year.  

 

Cindy Jane