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Still struggling after losing my Dad at 15


chloe.nunn

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My dad passed away when I was 15, six years ago. I was on holiday with a friend and their family, and whilst I was away my dad had a sudden and very unexpected heart failure at 43 and died. However, it was in April when the volcanic ash cloud stopped flights, so we were stuck away for another week and so I couldn't go home to be with my family or even really let the news sink in. 

It feels both a second and a lifetime since it happened- and although I know I should, I still just can't accept it. My grief still feels so strong, it weighs down on me everyday and recently I've just been feeling so unhappy. I'm very lucky that I have great friends, great family and a great boyfriend, but despite that, I just feel so alone. I still have regular counselling sessions which have been essential for me, but I think I have a real lack of closure. 

I don't want to 'move on' from the loss of my dad and know I never will, but at the same time, I don't want the grief to rule my life anymore; I want to accept and carry it with me to open that book when I want/need to. 

I suppose I'm just looking for whether anyone has had similar struggles and how they got through it.

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Chloe,

I am so sorry about the loss of your father. My father has passed, too. While I will never stop loving him, I have moved forward (not moved on). He would want me to, and your father would want you to move forward. That doesn't mean you forget about them or stop loving them. A way to heal and accept is to talk about your father, how much you loved him and how you feel to anyone who will listen. 

We will be here with you,

ModKonnie

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