Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Spouse loss to suicide


PEWEN

Recommended Posts

  • Members

My husband took his own life on November 15th this year. He was 29. We were recently separated, and he seemed to be doing well. We have 3 children 6, 4 and 2 years old. I am devastated. I'm afraid to go back home so I'm at my mom's house for now. I am going through a million different emotions. Most days it feels like I'm dreaming. I don't want to be a single mom. My kids are so tough and little and needy. I don't know how to continue my life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Pewen---so sorry for your loss and what you are going through. It's painful, I know. You  and your children are suffering through quite a shock. I hope you are not blaming yourself. Your husband made the free will choice and it had nothing to do with his love for you and his children. You need to take care of yourself, be kind and nurturing to yourself for your children. A part of your husband lives on in them. It is a good thing to be staying with your mom. I'm sure she's a huge help in caring for your children while you are are in the process of sorting out your emotions and grieving.

We are all caring people on this site, we know what you are going through. You can share, vent, whatever you need to let out, it's safe here. Prayers and hugs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

Pewen,

I am so sorry, the toughest thing in the world.  I want you to know you WILL get through this, you'll do it for your kids' sakes if not for your own.  I hope you will get some grief counseling, it's all the more important with suicide, and I consider it valuable even without that facet.

You were recently separated but this was in no way your fault.  You couldn't have known he would do this.  This is something within him, not you or your children.  I am glad you have your mom.  Could you get your own place, have someone else go in and clean out the house and pack it up?  I can sure understand your feeling devastated and not wanting to go back home.

I hope you'll continue to come here, we have a lot of young people going through loss, and you're not alone in going through this, even from suicide.  I hope these links will be of help to you:

http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2013/11/surviving-spouses-suicide.html

http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/03/grief-support-for-survivors-of-suicide.html

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Empty and lost
On Monday, November 28, 2016 at 10:05 AM, PEWEN said:

My husband took his own life on November 15th this year. He was 29. We were recently separated, and he seemed to be doing well. We have 3 children 6, 4 and 2 years old. I am devastated. I'm afraid to go back home so I'm at my mom's house for now. I am going through a million different emotions. Most days it feels like I'm dreaming. I don't want to be a single mom. My kids are so tough and little and needy. I don't know how to continue my life.

Im sorry fof your loss, my fiamce just commited suicide Nov. 22 by hanging himself in our home we created together with a deck and pool , That we had so many good times and memories and thAt is exactly where he did it and left himself there for me to find in the mOrning.  I couldnt believe it , i Was in total shock, i never in my life wojkd if guessed he would be capable of doing something like this... I mean why? We waited forever to be togetHer, and finally it was our turn , our lives had crossed each other and we wasnt going to let let this one go.  We were happy...so i thought...i dont undsrstand nor do i accept this is even hapPening ..im ready to wake up nOw ppl.. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

empty and lost----I am sorry for your loss, such a devastating ordeal for you. To cross paths with someone, fall in love, get engaged, create a home and plan a life together and then a person takes their life, has to be extremely unbearable to cope with. You are left with everything shattered and the why of it all. Your fiance had some inner struggles going on that were not shared. This has to be very hard on you, not understanding the whys.

Take care of yourself, one day at a time. We are here for you on this forum. To give encouragement and support, to listen and share.Prayers to you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

Empty and lost,

I am so sorry.  Losing your partner is the hardest thing in life and that that was due to suicide multiplies that greatly.  I don't think it is something you can wrap your head around.  Just as those who have not grieve cannot get what we are going through, so we who are not suicidal cannot get what someone who is, is going through.  I just hope you can understand that this is something HE felt he needed to do, not something that had anything to do with YOU...it affects you greatly, but you did not cause it in any way.  
I hope you are seeing a grief counselor, and can also talk to survivors of suicide, it helps to have someone who understands that can help guide you through this aftermath of feelings.

http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2013/11/surviving-spouses-suicide.html

http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/03/grief-support-for-survivors-of-suicide.html

https://vimeo.com/112214790

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.