My dad just passed away

[HeyItsMe]

I wish I knew exactly where to start with all this and that everyone could have known my dad because he was truly the greatest man I have ever known besides my husband.

My dad passed away 2 days ago on 11/23/16 at approximately 2pm at the age of 76. His death was sudden and totally unexpected. It is believed he passed from a heart attack. He and my mom were about to leave for an appt and when mom went out to the car she saw him and knew something was wrong. The car was running and my dad had his hand on the gear and foot on the break and it happened instantly. There was no warning. Mom said he had been feeling and acting fine all day. She called me and my brothers after calling 911 and I proceeded to scream for several minutes.  

Ive been experiencing a lot of panic/anxiety the last couple days and it's scary. I also cannot sleep and have many other physical symptoms of the loss, which I know are probably normal but still scary. Last night I had such a bad panic attack I wanted to call 911 because I thought I was dying.  I couldn't breathe, had difficulty swallowing, was shaking really bad, and had dry heaves. My heart races, it's hard to swallow and every time I breath it feels like I have a stack of bricks on my chest. I've been trying breathing exercises, listening to calming music, distracting myself but none of it helps much. 

Dad's funeral is next Thursday and the viewing is Wednesday. He and mom retired to Florida 6 years ago so we have had to deal with the logistics of flying him home. I worry what if the plane crashes, what if the airline people are disrespectful to my fathers remains, what if they accidentally send him somewhere else. He was an army veteran. I am so distressed about seeing my dad in his casket. I'm not going to be able to keep it together at the viewing/funeral and will probably embarrass myself. My dad was very respected and well loved by many many people and we know there will be a large turnout for his service. 

I lost my brother in 2011 to suicide and I thought I was devastated then, but losing my dad is just to much too bear. I also had an ectopic pregnancy last month which I had emergency surgery for and that situation in itself has been hard to bear

sorry for such a long post. I know losing a parent is something we all have to face i am totally devastated by my dad passing away. I've always been very close to my dad.

[Lizziew]

I am sooo sorry for the sudden loss of your father. I lost my Dad a month ago and miss him so terribly. 

I am not a religious person, but thought I'd share something that is helping me (especially since you seem to have a case of the "What Ifs"). 

My new mantra is, "Have faith, not fear". So have faith that you will get through this, and don't allow yourself to feel fear that you won't.  We cause ourselves so much distress living in fear. 

A friend told me, "You have to trust me. Things will get better in time". Best advice I ever received. 

You have joined a world-wide community of women who have lost their fathers. You are not alone. My Dad, too, was one of the finest and loving men I've known. We were so lucky to be their daughter. 

Hang in there.  Be extra kind to yourself. And allow others to be there for you. All the best, Lizzie

[karebear]

 I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your dad.  I lost mine 4 years ago.  This is an overwhelming time and when it first happens there are so many emotions and everything is so raw that it is hard to process it all and we can end up feeling really lost and overwhelmed, at least that's how I felt.  There were lots of condolences and everyone was sorry but that didn't help much.  I think it is important to let someone close to you help you, vent your feelings or just cry, and cry some more.  Tears are healing.  Try to remember to eat and sleep, at least as much as you can and know that everyone's grief is different and what works for some might not work for all.  Find what helps you cope, if your a talker, talk, if you express yourself through words, write a journal or letter to your dad, if you need to be busy, keep busy, do what works for you.  Find a way to express yourself through the grieving time, if you keep it bottled up it is harder to work through.  People will ask how you are doing and you will say "i'm ok", but your not.  Your not ok, you are hurting and hurting bad and its ok to tell people your not good.  Take time to care for yourself through this.  Also remember that you are part of your dad's living memorial.  He loved you and was proud of you, you have so many memories of him to share.  He will be kept alive through your memories.  God bless you and Keep you.  Sincerely, Karebear