Heartbroken

[ScootersMommy]

My heart is officially shattered. My sweet baby, Scooter ("Tooter") crossed the Rainbow Bridge on Friday after a month long fight with a URI. He was 18 years old and has been with me since he was about 6 weeks old. I always knew this would be hard, but, I could have never fully prepared for this pain. He helped me through so many tough times in my life, and how can you get used to a pet who slept next to you for 18 years, not being there anymore? Anytime I see his photo, find his little hairs, or see the bed without him on it, I lose it all over again. I know this is going to take time, and it's especially going to be hard over the Holidays, but I just want to find some small shred of peace. I literally feel like I just lost a child...he is so special to me and I miss him so much already.  I feel guilty that his transition wasn't as peaceful as it could have been. My mom and I had just finished his 4pm feeding...I was still holding him when he began the process. I knew what was happening, clutched on to him and began to scream and cry. I feel some comfort in knowing that he was in my arms, next to my heart when he took his final breath, but, I also feel like I made it more stressful on him by not being calm. I guess we all tend to feel guilty about some aspect of the passing of our babies. He is truly one of the great Loves of my life and that will never change. Rest in peace my sweet Baby. Mommy loves you more than words can ever say. 

 

[KMB]

ScootersMommy---So sorry for your loss of your friend and companion. It is so very hard because pets are our children. We take care of them and nurture them. They have such unconditional love and are there for us through everything. Scooter gave of himself in the way that pets can. You gave him love and care, which gave him a long life to be with you. Scooter passed over the rainbow bridge in the arms of who loved him. Do not feel guilty that you cried when he passed. He understands how painful letting go is.

I have lost many pets over the years and it never gets easier. You always miss them and remember the joy and companionship they gave. Whenever I picture my pets in Heaven, I see them running around in sunshine, blue sky and green grass. They all will be there to reunite with us when we go to Heaven.

Beautiful picture of Scooter----prayers and peaceful thoughts to you.

[KayC]

I am so sorry.  I lost my cat, Miss Mocha, a few months ago and I'm still having a hard time with it, missing her...I had her 10 1/2 years and thought I would many more.  I don't know how old she was, she was abandoned (I live in the country) and took to living in my garage when I discovered she was homeless and took her in.  Nothing can prepare us for this loss, and it's hard to get used to sleeping without them.   I love his face, his blanket, he looks so sweet.

I hope the Rainbow Bridge will bring you comfort...thoughts of it have helped me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcQvYh_3Atw

[ScootersMommy]

KMB & KayC, thank you so much for your comforting words. And, I'm deeply sorry about the loss of your fur babies as well. People who don't have pets just don't understand the heartache one goes through when losing one, I've found. It's nice to find a place where others feel the same way about their babies as I do about mine.

I forced myself to go through photos of Scooter yesterday. While it made me sob uncontrollably, it did also make me realize a couple of things. One, that he had a long, happy life. He was loved so much by me, but also by my family. The second thing I realized is that he was once very healthy and capable. Pictures of him up on tables, or inside baskets, etc... Before he even got sick, he was at a point that it hurt for him to sit down. His hips were riddled with arthritis and we eventually had to make a ramp for him to get up on the bed. He couldn't get up on things, or into things like he once loved. Cats are so good at masking pain, I'll never know how much pain he was actually in. So, I'm thankful that he's not in anymore pain of any kind, and that he's now able to leap on top of whatever he wants to.

I knew this day would come. With him being 18, I knew the day was getting closer and closer... He would wake me up in the middle of the night almost every night by pawing at my face. He wanted belly rubs and for me to talk to him. He would then just purr and knead the blanket...I would cry... Cry because I knew one day he would no longer wake me up at 3am for belly rubs. I tried preparing myself, but I think you just never can.

I worry for the Holidays...I know it's going to be so tough. Especially when I pull out his stocking and the ornament we made with his paw print. He always wanted to come lay in the wrapping paper on Christmas morning. 

*hugs to the both of you, and thank you again.

 

[KayC]

He's so beautiful.  I know you'll continue to miss him, but I hope knowing he had a long and happy life brings you some comfort.