Members Ajsmother Posted November 7, 2016 Members Report Share Posted November 7, 2016 Hello All, So a couple months ago, I posted about the passing of the love of my life. Since his passing on August 19th, we celebrated his birthday, what would have been our 2 year anniversary TODAY, and now preparing for his 2 favorite holidays: Thanksgiving and Christmas. As some of you may know, we are expecting an addition to our family. My due date is January 1st. So to say the least , this pregnancy has been difficult as I battle with extreme emotions almost daily. well tonight, I was talking to his eldest daughter and she told me "daddy was going to ask you to marry him on Christmas or when the baby was born. He told me to keep it a secret". Anthony and my love was once in a lifetime and I knew that we were to be married. To know that it was coming much sooner than expected , I am not sure how to process the news. I know we will never be married as his earthly body is no longer here , however now all I do is think about the what ifs. Anthony was my person. He was my best friend, confidant, my everything. I feel like I am rambling and if so my deepest apologies. I just needed somewhere to channel all of these emotions. I know all of us have taken a tremendous blow with the passing of a loved one, so know that even in the midst of my storm that I pray for you all. I can attest of what God is able to do, and for me he is giving me enough strength to not only carry our child but make it through the day! God is good and he is working in our lives even if we don't feel or see him work. my pastor said "If you can't trace God, trust him". that is what I am doing everyday . trustING in his plan even when I don't see it and right now don't like it. God bless you all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted November 7, 2016 Members Report Share Posted November 7, 2016 Hearing the news that your boyfriend was planning on proposing must have filled you with even more love for him. I'm so sorry for your loss and the loss of your future with him. The baby will be his legacy of love for you and God will see you through. I pray daily for God"s love and strength to get me through another day without my husband here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted November 7, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted November 7, 2016 I know this is bittersweet news, because while it's wonderful that was his plan and intention, it's so sad that you didn't get to experience it. I hope it brings you comfort to know that it existed all the same, even if you didn't get to see it through. Part of our grieving is the missing them, but another part is the loss of dreams, loss of the future we had planned and all of the changes that ensue. Your grief is very real. I hope this coming baby brings you much joy and blessing in your life. I know it'll be hard to parent on your own, but I hope you have much support around you and that his children are active in your child's life as well. You're in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members claribassist13 Posted November 8, 2016 Members Report Share Posted November 8, 2016 I can somewhat relate to the feeling. When my love died, he was my boyfriend. We had been together for almost three years and were planning to get married once we graduated with our Bachelors' degrees. I had always assumed that he would propose closer to that time. Exactly one month after this death, a package arrived at his parent's house (which was not unusual, we were still working on canceling Amazon orders and stuff like that). When they opened it up, inside they found an engagement ring. There was a note inside from the seller, congratulating him on his choice and wishing him all the luck in his Valentine's Day proposal to me. It was shocking to hear that I would have been officially engaged to him a little less than 2 weeks later had he not died. He was more than my boyfriend, he was (and still is) my life. So now I wear the ring and I call him my fiance. We were practically married anyway. Stuff like this is hard. It's a hard slap of everything you lost (like we didn't know it already). Try to take comfort in the fact that he loved you so much that he was planning to spend the rest of his life with you. Make sure you've got a strong support group around you. You'll need every person you can get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted November 9, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted November 9, 2016 claribassist13, I feel like congratulations are in order, even though you didn't get to see it to fruition, it was on course to happen had he not had his untimely death. Nothing can change the loving connection the two of you had, not even death, that will continue to exist even in the absence of his physical presence. That is consolation to me with my George, that although I'm having to live my life alone, at least I had and knew love in the fullest and nothing and no one can ever destroy that. Somewhere out there is his presence, he still loves me, and I him, and every now and then perhaps we can connect on some level, I know I carry him inside my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members claribassist13 Posted November 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2016 2 hours ago, KayC said: claribassist13, I feel like congratulations are in order, even though you didn't get to see it to fruition, it was on course to happen had he not had his untimely death. Nothing can change the loving connection the two of you had, not even death, that will continue to exist even in the absence of his physical presence. That is consolation to me with my George, that although I'm having to live my life alone, at least I had and knew love in the fullest and nothing and no one can ever destroy that. Somewhere out there is his presence, he still loves me, and I him, and every now and then perhaps we can connect on some level, I know I carry him inside my heart. I wobble back and forth between accepting "congratulations" from people. Those who don't know me well always ask about my ring, and it really depends on the day as to how I answer. You're right. Nothing will ever change how I feel for him. No one will ever be able to degrade the love we had (and still have, as I believe that he stills loves me in whatever form he's in). He was the one who allowed me to believe in things like soulmates and true love because that is exactly what I have with him. I am so grateful that when he died he had no doubt in his mind as to how loved and cherished he was. I choose to wear the ring in his memory, a way to honor the commitment I made to him long before we decided to get married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted November 10, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted November 10, 2016 I would too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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