Advertisements 09/05/2017Hi all, I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed. Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com. As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
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~N00b in the haus~ My father passed away at 65 on July 17th very suddenly. I have one brother who has just reached technical adulthood, and I am in my early twenties. Our mother is alive and holding things together as much as she can, what with her own terminally ill (and abusive) partner. It has been ten days since he passed away and what with the funeral arrangements and delays with the release of the body, the shock is immense. Grief rolls over in waves that I struggle and fight against. I refuse to drown. I've spent hours meeting people and planning his funeral and liaising with everyone who was immediately close in his (rather unconventional) life. Doing lots of 'useful' things is helping me not fall to pieces, and everyone I am speaking to says that at some point I must fall to pieces. The way I feel, it's a bad enough situation without me losing my mind at the same time. Everyone reacts in their different ways, and I cannot stop working on the loose ends. There's too much at stake, now that my Dad is gone, and my brother's gone to pieces. I have a few questions to the denizens of these forums: - Timing: I've been warned that the 8-12 week mark is often where mental health takes a really big backslide, when the funeral arrangements are done and it's just the slow-grind wheels of bureaucracy to grapple with. What are your experiences within this kind of time-frame? - Disposal of possessions: We do not have space (we live in a minuscule apartment) and therefore will need to sell or otherwise dispose of a great quantity of my Dad's stuff as he had ~7 full shipping containers worth of household items. What were your emotional responses to sorting and clearing the belongings of a deceased loved one, and what strategies did you use in an attempt to mitigate the pain? The funeral is in a little over a weeks' time, and I'm up to my eyeballs in planning things according to what I recall him telling me about this "contingency situation" as he called it. I'm immensely grateful, in hindsight, for the suicidal teenage years that led me to speak to him thoroughly and frankly about death. Obviously, I'd have liked to have the chance for him to be alive, and all the awesomeness that would have been. However, I have now experienced the two certainties of life; death and taxes. And they suck, Signing off, The Flying Dutchman's Feisty Daughter aka Nami