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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

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Found 5 results

  1. New tonthe Forum

    Hello Everyone, I’m new to the forum. I lost both of my parents a day apart 2 weeks ago. It was Monday September 18. My son was eating breakfast and I was getting ready for work. My phone rang and I looked to see who it was. It was my aunt (my father’s older sister). I felt my stomach drop because it was unlike her to call so early unless something was urgent. I answered the phone and heard the fragility in her voice. My father had died earlier that morning. My world as I knew it had been shattered. We talked every singles day several times a day. That was my best friend. I’ll never forget the feeling I felt. That night I received a phone call thst my mother was actively dying in the nursing home she’d been living in for the past 5 days (in Utah)I called into the wee hours of the night to find out her status. In the morning I called to check on her again and was told she had the “death rattle.” I knew it wouldn’t be long until she passed. I asked the nurse to put the phone to her ear so i could speak woth her one final time. As we made our way to TN (where my father resided) later thst morning, the nursing home called to tell me my mother had died. Words can’t really give justice to my emotions. My mother was a drug addict and she died as a result of the disease. I don’t she ever realized how wonderful she was and that she deserved better. I know there is someone out there that can relate/understand what it’s like. If you’re out there, please talk to me. Today has been a rought day on this journey and i could use a companion. If you got this far in the post, thank you for reading. I pray we are all able to move forward.
  2. In November this year I my cat who I had owned for almost ten years died. He was ten years old and showed no sign of illness so it came as a quite a shock when I found him dead in the garden. I handled it way different than I thought I would. The first few days were hard, I cried a lot and his death hadn't sunk it yet. But after that I felt like normal and it didn't feel as hard. My issue is that when I think about him, it's as if he was never real. I remember him clearly, I just don't remember how it was to have him in my life. Does that make sense? It's like I just dreamed having him. It's so hard to feel like that because it feels bad. He was one of the most important parts in my life and now I almost can't remember how my life was with him in it. Am I supposed to feel that way? Have any of you experienced a similar feeling after losing a pet? It would be very reasuring to hear that I'm not crazy. Thank you.
  3. Support for those who feel alone

    It's hard not to feel alone, and forums are helpful. I have tried to put my own experiences into my own blog, website, and book, if anyone is interested. I would also love to share ideas, as I am involved in research group studying sibling loss. I'd love to connect. http://www.turningthepage4u.com/
  4. Hello, I am writing here because my partner (with whom I live) lost his grandmother last week and he is really not doing well. He participated in the ceremony and followed her from the very moment she passed to the burial. I know he chose (because he promised her) not to leave her body alone until the burial, so he identified her at the morgue and then helped bury her (carried the body and opened the shroud in the tomb to apply rose water - Iranian tradition). He was raised in the US so it's not like he saw this many times in his life so I know he is extremely affected by what he saw and did. He is extremely proud and not very communicative for that kind of matter. He opens up sometimes but then locks himself down in his thoughts very quickly after. I feel completely ill-equipped to help him... he sleeps all day, moans and weeps at night, in his sleep,...he doesn't shower and can't focus. I know this is part of grief and it is "normal"... I would just need practical help... Tonight, he opened up and started talking about the people who apply make-up on the deceased... I thought it would be a good idea to follow him down this path and talked about it with him for a little bit and I could tell that he was pretty disturbed afterwards. So maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He was silent for a while and I told him that he could talk about anything if he wanted and patted his arm... but he shut down. I feel so sad that I can't help him... I don't know how to help him... and even if I knew, I wouldn't know how to say it since he is so proud and so private. Do you have any tips? Apart from being there for him and helping with the groceries/cooking and all... I know this already. Most importantly, is there a way to alleviate his trauma regarding seeing his grandmother's face on many occasions?? I know he mentioned that he cannot get it out of his head... Thank you so much for your help... I truly appreciate it.
  5. Hello, I am a Master of Arts in Liberal Studies degree candidate at Indiana University Kokomo. My intent is to analyze the existing writings of survivors from a wide range of traumas to see if they hold the key to creating a writing framework to help future victims. The research is confidential, the writings volunteers to the study send to me will not be shared or revealed in any way. I'm looking for trends across many texts. Below is an overview. I've also attached the consent form with all details. Please email me at nvanworm@iuk.edu with questions or to participate. My husband died suddenly in 2000. After three years, I went back to school. The grief and feelings of loss were awful. But, I survived. I'm now working on my graduate degree and because of my experience, decided to write my thesis on grief/trauma and writing. If you have written about your experience, you can help. I am seeking volunteers for a confidential research study on grief/trauma and writing in hopes of developing a framework to help future victims. If you have written about your experience, you can help. **What is trauma?** For this study, trauma is broadly defined as a uniquely individual experience that resulted in feelings of powerlessness with or without a physical threat to life. A traumatic event may involve a single incident or a prolonged experience that overwhelmed your coping abilities and impacted your quality of life resulting in post-trauma psychological or emotional distress. Examples of a single incident trauma includes but is not limited to rape, natural disaster, violence, accident, or the death of a loved one. Examples of prolonged experiences include but are not limited to domestic or child abuse, sexual abuse, major illness, or war. **What to expect?** To review the details, consent statement, and survey questions please CONTACT ME by e-mail @ nvanworm@iuk.edu. Please put “I am interested” in the subject line. If you want to participate, you will * electronically sign and return the consent statement * send your existing narrative (or whatever form your writing took) to the e-mail address shown in the consent statement. After I receive your consent form and narrative, I will send you a link to the survey (hosted by university-approved Qualtrics). After you complete the survey, your involvement is complete. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Please forward this information to anyone who may be interested in participating. Respectfully, Navi Vernon Consent Statement--please review.rtf