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It has been two weeks since my mother's funeral. My depression got worse when my aunt went back home in another state yesterday because I'm scared something similar will happen and she won't get to attend my college graduation in 3 years either. When I try to do normal activities such as getting my hair done, I think about when my mother would drop me off and how well she knew my hair stylist. When I go grocery shopping, I think of how my mother would show me how to tie the plastic bags with fruits in them. When I go looking for clothes, I remember how my mother would say she's not buying me more than one top we are looking for, but she still ends up buying me more things. When driving, I think of our many talks on the road and how unlike myself, she was calm when some fool did something on the road like cut her off with no warning. I also notice how words on tv or spoken by people such as: mother, mom, Mother's Day, blood, died, death, cancer, leukemia, funeral, casket, and even sorry...trigger my depression quickly and I start thinking of my mom in pain at the hospital or how I will never see her again. As well as how different she looked in the casket. This happens even when the topic is not directed to me. Nobody will ever love me as much as my mother, and now she can't anymore and she will never know how much I appreciated her.