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Found 11 results

  1. Do I have PTSD?

    Today after driving for over 8 hours, I reached home and suddenly began having a panic attack. My entire body felt as if I was vibrating. My hands were straight out and I could not bring them back together for 10 minutes. I felt as if I was about to pass out, but I never did. A lot of things reminded me of my mother during the ride. On the way home, I cried for three hours straight. I almost crashed four times, but I did not. That made me feel more guilty of how I can avoid death but my mom died anyway from sepsis. My sister helped me calm down and breathe normally again. I'm still feeling a little off. My issue is that the more I think about how my mom is no longer alive, the more it feels like a dream. I don't know how to explain this. I literally feel as if I'm just stuck in a nightmare but I cannot wake up from it and that's when I start panicking. The more I remember how my mother passed and that I will not ever get to see her or speak to her again, my mind feels distant. As if this is all just a test. My chest also starts to hurt. The flashbacks make me feel the same pain over and over each time. Has someone ever said something really mean to you and it hurt your feelings? That's how I feel every time I remember how my mom died. It's starting to not feel like reality anymore. Like I'm not really even a human being. It all feels like a huge prank being played on me. Deep breaths and all those techniques only help for a small amount of time. My throat tightens as if I'm about to cry. And I do. I cried today more than I did at the funeral. When I think about how much I cried, I want to cry again. This is just getting too much to deal with as time goes on and time is surely not healing this wound. What can I do to stop panicking and bring myself back to reality? How will I continue my life without my mother here with me? I literally want to press the "start over" button and go back to when I was a baby just so I can see her again.
  2. My father passed away 4 years ago from pancreatic cancer. I watched him deteriorate into nothing but a shell of who this strong, healthy man once was. I felt his body go from warm to cold and saw him taken away in a body bag. I was treated like trash by my family on his side. I was betrayed and belittled. Screamed at and mentally tortured by them. I was 25. Since then I've talked to countless therapists, been on medication and nothing takes away the pain and anger that I have. I used to be this beam of light and love. This carefree person who loved life and everything in it. I saw the world as beautiful in every way and saw the beauty in others as well. I was happy and my marriage flourished. After loosing my father I became this empty cold hearted person that felt betrayed by her family and betrayed by life itself that my father was taken away so young. He was 53. I've never reached out in a forum but I'm hoping I can connect with others and get some guidance on this topic.
  3. Hi all. My name is Stephanie. I lost my mother almost 8 months ago to ovarian cancer. I saw her suffer with it (silently b/c she would never complain) for about 2 1/2 years. She did chemo for 2 years and did responded well to it. Then the chemo stopped working and she slipped away right in front of my eyes. I managed as best as I could after she passed. I was enrolled in college at the time and stayed busy with that because I made her a promise that I would not drop out again. Because of school I stayed very busy and I guess my mind did not have much time to really process what I saw and what actually happened. I mourned her death but kept myself occupied. I worked out almost every day. I would hardly ever rest. I was constently doing something. Anything. I would do anything to try and fill the emptiness I felt. I even tried crossfit. Crossfit didn't work out well b/c I ended up in the hospital b/c of a very serious migraine, which was caused by heat exhaustion and dehydration, which in turn caused a very intense panic attack. I had an eye sguiggle b/c of the migraine which caused the anxiety to begin with. It made the left side of my body go numb and I thought I was having a stroke. I was driving my son home when the migraine started happening. I could not even remember how to get home. My 4 year old son had to tell me how to get there. I thought I was going to wreck. It was the most terrifying experience I've ever had. Ever since the day I went to the ER, I've been having issues. I started having panic attacks daily after that. Every time a bright light or something would interfere with my vision, I would start to have a panic attack. In fear of having that awful experience again. Eventually I couldn't sleep or eat.. I had a pounding heart with no relief for about 24 hours when I decided that enough was enough. Something is wrong. I need to call the doctor. I lost 10 pounds in 5 days and could not manage to get out of bed. It was the weekend at the time so by Monday I made an appointment to go see the doctor and he prescribed me klonopin to take at night to help me calm down so I could sleep. I was prescribed this before with post-partum anxiety/depression/insomnia. I absolutely hated it but It helped tremendously. I hated taking it but it eventually worked and I didn't have to take it anymore. I have tried Ativan and am currently taking xanax b/c the other too just made me more anxious. He did not diagnose me with PTSD officially b/c he's not a pysch dr but a OBGYN, but he seemed to think that is what is going on with me. I am doing better but I get this overwhelming pang of fear every now and then that causes me so much distress. It comes out of nowhere. It's a feeling like I am afraid to be alive. Like this is, or I am not real. Like I am stuck or claustrophobic in my own body. Saying out loud makes me laugh because it sounds so ridiculous but it is causing me a great deal of anxiety. And I CANNOT make it go away. I cannot get my mother out of my mind either. I was doing pretty decent before that experience in the ER. So, I don't know if going to the ER was the cause of this, my mother, or maybe it triggered something b/c of the overwhelming loss of my mother but It's absolutely horrifying and I'm at a loss. Benzodiazepines (klonopin, ativan, xanax, valium) so I'm told, is given to people sometimes to help with PTSD and severe distress and anxiety. It can take a few weeks for it to be therapeutic. Basically I am writing this to see if anyone else has ever dealt with these feelings before? I am at a complete loss as how to handle this. I hate the meds but what if they help me in the long run? I know this is a lot to read. I understand if no one wants to take the time. I feel better banging it out on the keyboard. Much love to you all who are suffering. (sorry for the typos)
  4. Loss of four siblings

    This isn't the usual post because I didn't lose my siblings to a death, but because of a death. You see, I'm the youngest of five children - my parents divorced when I was young; my dad raised my brothers and my mother raised my sister and I. My brothers would visit often but wasn't in my life on a regular basis. I've lived in Ohio nearly all my 44 years of life. My mother has always been the most kind, caring and loving person you'd ever meet. Her life ended just three short weeks ago and I'm struggling with the lack of compassion my siblings have expressed. My mom had a stroke which left her paralyzed 20 years ago. The amount of care it took to keep her comfortable and safe was more than one person could handle. I'd ask my siblings to help, however that fell through. If we five could take turns caring for mom, she'd be comfortable and wouldn't need strangers pitching in. Well, after many attempts - many failed attempts, I took to a home health care company and set up daily visits to watch over mom while I was at work or dealing with my own family. I'd almost beg my siblings to help with mom. Sit with her, run to the store, laundry and or doctor visits - I'd be ignored or any excuse they'd come up with was given!! I finally gave up and took the role of her care giver on my own. I stood by her for the entire time. Not a day went by where we didn't talk or visit - I loved (and still do) this woman whole heartedly and unconditionally. Her physical condition might have changed but her being my mom didn't!!! June of 2014 the decision to move mom into a skilled nursing facility was made. This was the hardest decision of my life but her health was the main concern. I turned to my siblings again to help with moving her into the home as well as packing her house - no assistance (not like I'm surprised) - so my husband, my sons and myself moved my mom into the home and packed then moved her belongings to storage. I calculated her monthly bills and between us five, the total we'd pay would be $85 - only fair, right? Again, I'm let down by their lack of support. So for the entire time my mom was in the nursing home - I WAS ALONE in her care, her visits, laundry, etc. I visited her nearly every day and the smile on her face was enough to make any bad day disappear. She depended on me for her care and the day to day things a mother and daughter share. Three weeks ago today, I had to call hospice in for mother. Reaching out to my siblings to let them know mom's days were numbered - still no response. Yeah, my sister visited but it was a short 20 minute visit and was more focused on the new tattoo she got (yes, I asked her how much it cost because if she didn't have funds to help with moms bill, surely she didn't have money for a tattoo, right???) - sickening!! Mom died on March 10th - I was there with her and will forever remember how beautiful she looked. Her struggles were over - she was finally at peace My siblings have yet to show any signs of support - hell, they didn't even help with planning the funeral. And one brother wasn't even at the funeral! What's wrong with these people? Why am I struggling day to day with the loss of my mother and they seem to be 'okay' with her being gone? Do they truly NOT CARE? The one woman who is responsible for their being here is gone! Oh, they showed 'some' remorse towards her but it just seemed like another day to them. Heck, I was told by one brother that I should get over it and move one. So where am I going with this? When I walked away from mom's grave, I walked away from my siblings. Their lack of support through the years and the lack of love they showed towards mom is enough for me to distant myself from them. I've heard more excuses from them to last a lifetime. It is a shame to have such a big family yet I feel like an only child. I don't think I'll ever get over mom's death and I know I'll never find it in my heart to forgive them how they treated her. I know it's typical for one child to take on the care of an ill parent but this is extreme - two decades of ZERO help!!!
  5. I just lost my mom on the 10th of March and I'm finding myself getting deeper and deeper into a state of depression. I've been my moms primary source of care since her stroke (20 yrs ago) and we've been inseparable since. I literally either spoke to her or saw her DAILY! I'm 44 years old, yet I feel like curling up in some corner and crying. I know it's still new to me so the adjustment is going to take some time but this empty feeling has overcome my daily living. I'm trying to function as I did before her passing but I can't seem to find my way. I don't want to let go - I don't want to accept the event because I'm afraid I will forget her and everything she meant to me. I feel alone because all my friends still have their mother.
  6. This is long, and to the one most dearest to my heart ever. I lost my mom. To say that I lost just that, is the biggest understatement. She's been my best friend, the one who's always been there for me and always loved me, and I the same for her. I care about her more than anything in the world. I'd been her caretaker since she was diagnosed with cancer at the beginning of the year, and had always just been with her before that (we'd pretty much always been best friends and I know her the best, and she knows me). She always knew how much I loved her and I told her, but after the diagnosis I would tell her at least 10 times a day how much I love her, would give her kisses constantly, hug her and lay with her and hold her hand, and rub her back all the time. She knew how much I loved her and commented on how much I did, I know it made her feel so good inside. I researched good foods for her to eat, the correct vitamins that long term survivors were taking, researched all the clinical trials we could put her on. I was on top of everything. She also got so much love and support from friends and other family members, she was happily blown away by how many people cared about her. I told her "of course, who wouldn't love you?" That always made her smile. My sister came to help and actually did a lot for a while, but ended up not being around as much after time had passed, so everything was back on me. Talking to doctors, researching (which I didn't know anything about before and had to learn quick so I could help my mom, she was counting on me and I would never let her down. I would do anything for her). I know my father loves my mom, but he would watch tv all day, but he even did that before she got sick. He would go out and do chores and buy groceries, I guess that's the most he could do. He would get her food or things she needed if she was cold or needed medication, but for the most part it was all on me to take care of everything, even him, though he is relativity healthy. They're both in their early 70's and had been together since their teens, and my mom was seemingly very healthy before all this happened. She still had been working, while he had been retired for a good while with no problems. She never looked her age, she was always so beautiful and youthful looking, no one would ever guess she was in her 70's. Watching my loving mother, really the rock of my life that always had been there for me, seeing her health decline and body change was so hard. To know this is the person I love without a doubt more than anyone in the world and to know I'm doing all I can for her and not sure if it was going to help, killed me everyday. I never wanted her to be afraid, and we were doing everything we could for her and researching any and all the options out there. She was going to be the exception. We stayed extremely positive and so did she, she was going to fight and I told her I would be there every step of the way and as long as she didn't give up I would never give up on her. I told her to give me all her burden and I would take it on my shoulders. I really did think my love would somehow help heal her, as we worked on other things like chemo and nutrition, meditation, praying, and positive thinking. This really seemed to work and she got better for a couple months, then the chemo stopped working. She very much loved and believed in God. I thought it was just a matter of time before we got her on another modality that was going to help her. Seeing her in the hospital was unbearable at the end (though I didn't know that was happening at the time). I spent all my time with her as I always did whenever she was in the hospital, just coming home to shower and recharge so I could go back and be with her. I would hold her hand constantly and just try to keep her mood up, hug her and tell her how much I love her and just talk about normal things. She only went in to the hospital for something minor that was due to the cancer and we all thought she would be out in a couple days, which turned into almost 2 weeks. She got better, then things happened and seemed to go wrong and a major blood vessel problem changed everything. She told me she loved me and I did to her, and had such love in my eyes when I looked at her because I didn't want her to be scared in any way. I knew things didn't look good. The last 2 days were more than horrendous. She was no longer responsive and I knew I was losing my fight to help my mom heal and get better. I promised her I would, it was my job to take care of her and I could feel everything moving so fast and I couldn't help her. There was family drama going on during all of this (and after), which makes it even harder. Watching her go was the worst thing I've ever experienced, to hear the breaths get shorter and I knew what was coming. I held her and told her I lover her over and over, played her favorite music, and sang our favorite songs into her hear. I never thought this would happen. One day, maybe very far in the future but not now. Not her. Not my mom. She was such a good person, but cancer doesn't care what kind of person you are. Neither do some doctors who's bedside manner made me want to punch them as hard as humanly possible in the face. It's only been a couple of weeks. I can't stop thinking about the last days and how she looked and all the images and occurrences with family that I have in my mind. Even how she would ask me months before if she was dying, and I would tell her no we're doing all we can for you, we're gonna get you better. That's exactly what we were working so hard on. It was so heartbreaking to hear her ask me that. I knew very clearly that it was my purpose to be there to help her. She told me I was the one who made her feel so much better, so calm, and that everything was going to be alright. That made me feel so happy, that I was helping her in some very real way. She loved me so much, as I love her so much. I thought it was my life's mission to get her better. I feel I failed. Those images, being with her as she went (though I was proud to do, and proud to do everything I did for her and would do it all the same in a heartbeat). I know she didn't feel alone in her fight, my dad and sister made her feel supported as well, just not as consistent as our relationship did. I would calm her when she did get scared, and tell her we're gonna do the best we can to get you better. I never wanted her to feel alone. I don't think she did very often, I was with her just about 24/7, physically and emotionally. People say that at least she's not in pain now, and I definitely never wanted her to be in any pain. I could never have even in my worst dreams imagined this, truly, maybe other family members but I never even considered this would happen to her, not my Mom. I empathize so much with people that it hurts me really bad to see someone I love suffer. I'm sure a lot of people feel that way. I can't seem to help it but I keep seeing those last day horrible images in my head. It comes to me when I wake, during the day and at night. I can't stop crying. I cry intensely, everyday. I know it's all had a very traumatic effect on me, I'm sensitive by nature in the first place. I try not to think about those moments when I knew she probably was scared because they hurt me the most. When scary stuff was happening, and I was the only one there to help, until the nurses came, scared the hell out of me but I knew I had to be brave for her and take care of things, just like I knew she would absolutely do for me. Then later to see her body change and her becoming non-responsive, and sweating profusely. Then seeing her get strong medication so she wasn't in pain as the doctors said, but I knew she was to a certain degree because she was losing her battle and she did not want to lose it in any way, she was such a fighter. I know she fought to stay with me, I wanted her to as well, and also for herself. The family I have now without her is extremely unsupportive emotionally. We barely talk, though my sister takes care of my dad and pays him much attention. We had trouble in the past but she is still cruel to me, even after everything that has happened. She has returned home which is far away, but still is very domineering and bossy. My brother is very unconcerned and seems to not really care at all, he has his own family on the east coast and is seems to be very settled in it. It makes me so sad because I know my Momma cares about him so much and my family treated him like "the golden child", now that tragedy struck he is so emotionally detached, and just seems to care less. He is happy and has developed a very separate life that doesn't include our nuclear family, other than on the surface. My remaining family is very cold emotionally, and generally towards me, and not involved in my life. My mom was the exception. There was true love and caring(and still is) between her and I, and I know that will never be replaced. That hurts inside so bad. I don't have a spouse, so I'm now all alone trying to deal with all these emotions that I'm having such a hard time trying to process. As time is passing it's getting harder, as it's all sinking in. I think the burden would be easier if I had some compassionate people in my life, people who care to talk to and spend time with. Whenever I talk about how I feel in the least bit I get the uncomfortable feeling from others that I should just keep a stoic appearance and not make them uncomfortable. That is so, so, isolating. I also get the message that what I have done has been forgotten, and now I have to "take care of my Dad". Like I didn't give my blood and everything I had and tried to take care of my dearest Momma, and also my father at the time (who is capable of taking care of himself) and try to feed myself and get some rest in the meantime- all forgotten, like it never existed, never happened. The trauma of witnessing all that I saw to the one most special and dear to my heart, gives me this daily horrible pain in my chest that I wake up with, like someone's ripping my heart to pieces and I can't breathe. I have horrible nightmares all the time, and go from not sleeping at all, to sleeping 16 hours. I have dreams that I have cancer, that spiders are coming out of people's mouth's and last night that a spider laid a web around most of my body and as I tried to peel it off, it was like a flesh eating virus and my lower layer of epidermis was exposed, looking something like raw prosciutto ham, even on my private parts. Very disturbing. Nothing at all interests me, even things I did enjoy. I'm so lost, I have no idea what to do with myself or where even I want to be in the future. I can't think of anything. I can't even think of a single thing I want or really want to do in general. Nothing has any meaning anymore. I don't even know what I want to do career wise, as I quit my job to be with my Momma and take care of her, and been running off of savings I've built up. I don't even care about that as work in this current condition doesn't seem like it will be happening very soon. I'm having a hard enough time trying to keep myself together right now. Nothing seems to be going the right way or making sense. I feel like I'm in some parallel universe where everything I would never want to have happen, has. If I go out in public alone I feel so dead inside, I don't relate to anyone and everyone feels so "far" away, like they're not even real. Sometimes it's nice though just to get out and talk to a stranger, because the people I do have as remaining family that are supposed to be there for me are non existent, or just don't want to help. I think they see me as some kind of emotional problem they don't want to deal with. "If you just ignore it, it'll go away", is how my family has worked, and to some degree some of my friends also. I do have a couple friends who are very supportive, but they have their own lives which are very busy, but do manage to make some time for me. That really helps when that happens. I've had counseling in the past for depression, which had been mildly effective at best. I still try. It seems to be difficult to find someone who is skilled enough to actually really help. The people who do try to help say things like "she's in a beautiful place", and "you've got such a great future the sky's the limit!". Really? It's only been a COUPLE of weeks, are you really saying that right now?? I know people mean the best and are trying, but really that is way too soon. If they understood how I've been feeling, they wouldn't say that. Actually some do know, and still say those things. I put all my effort and time into helping my mom, and because I only wanted to see her get better. She did too. Now I don't know what to do. I feel like I've been left in this horrible place without my one true north, my rock, my best friend. A mother can never be replaced. She was the one I'd go to to tell her about my day, and she would to me. We'd both make each other feel better when the other was down, and were each other's personal cheering section. I have a hard time getting close to people and making bonds that seem to last, I'm not exactly sure why that is because I try to be the best friend I can be. My mom was always there and I feel like maybe I took that for granted in thinking she'd always would be. I've done a lot of things in life but I knew she was always there for me and just a phone call away. No matter how far I travelled, I could always call her and tell her what was going on in my life and share feelings and emotions with her, as she would. That's what moms do, they love you unconditionally, pick you up when you're down, and make you feel safe and loved. I know time is supposed to help but I don't know how I'm going to get through all of this. With all the circumstances I'm going through, it's making it even harder. Though I hate to say this in regards to the fact of having anyone suffer, it is comforting to know there are people out there going through similar pain and experiences that I am. No one I know in real life has gone through something like this. It makes it harder to relate to someone who doesn't understand the pain you're experiencing so intensely. There's such a big hole. It hurts so bad. If you've never been that close to somebody, you have no idea how it feels. I try to block my mind from thinking anything, and that has been working temporarily, but I know it's going to catch up to me. I just want to hear her voice, and talk to her. I would be telling her all these things and talking to her, now I have nobody. I try to fake it and make like I'm okay, because people don't want to know how you're really doing. The more time passes, the more scared I get for how I'm going to deal with this.
  7. PTSD loss

    Almost 3 weeks ago I lost my best friend, my soulmate to suicide. My boyfriend was a young 26 year old veteran, who served in the ARMY and deployed to Afghanistan for a year. I met him earlier this year. He was not my type I stayed away but eventually his big smile, kind heart, hardworking, happy self swept me off my feet. We started dating, spending every day every moment together, and eventually got to talking about kids and marriage. I started noticing his PTSD as the time passed. He would get startled and get jumpy, especially as he slept. He was also having issues with his mom and sister. They never supported him while he was overseeas and left him alone, when he needed them the most. On his own he came back from Afghan, started his career as a correctional officer, got promoted within a year, and bought his first home. I told him every day how proud I was. He had days where he was down and sad about his mom and sister, he'd cry to me to never leave him. I adviced him to talk to a counselor because I knew this depression state was getting to him and it was affecting his health. The day he passed he left work early because he wasnt feeling well, we went to urgent care where they prescribed him anti deprssants. I lfet his house devastated, he told me not to leave but I didnt want him to see me so broken. After not hearing from him I went back to his house where I found him. He had taken all of his medication and shot himself. You can see why I feel guilt. These days without him have been the hardest. Finding out he had bought our engagement ring breaks my heart, my future was all in him, us together and now hes gone. Although I know hes no longer suffering im left with so many unanswered questions. I miss him more and more everyday.
  8. Hi forum, I stumbled across this page in the hopes of getting some advice for my current situation, which I'm sure you all can relate to in some way or form. We lost my younger brother 5 years ago this July, to an accidental heroin (with other drugs) overdose. Matthew was 24 years old and at the time I was 25. It was such a shock to everyone, we all knew Matt was a little wild and had tried a lot of things to help him, which ultimately didn't. He wasn't known to use heroin either, which was another shock. At the time also, I was in a committed relationship for about 4 months and really, without my partner being there for me, I probably wouldn't have found the strength that I did to keep going. I did all the organising for his funeral, sitting up through all hours of the morning organising his photo slideshow, writing a eulogy, picking the music and speaking to the priest. I felt it was my duty as Matt's older sister to do this for him. I didn't even cry much during my eulogy - which I'm still surprised at today. Basically, 5 years on, my partner believes that I haven't dealt with his death 'properly'. We are going through some dramas and I believe this might be stemming from holding a lot of hurt in. I feel at this point in my life that I am at a crossroads - and I am really unsure of how to deal with this. I feel I have gone through some major changes as a person and now my partner is the one copping the brunt of these. As the eldest, I have always been the 'good' one so this might have some reason as to why I am feeling the way I am. Also, I have another younger brother who is just getting worse and worse since Matt's death. Constantly getting in trouble, unemployed, doing drugs, stealing from EVERYONE (even our from grandparents) and has a young daughter who he never sees. It is taking toll on our Dad as he says hurtful things like 'If you don't give me money, I'm just going to kill myself' things like that to make Dad feel guilty. Does anyone relate to these feelings? I have never spoken to a therapist or counsellor, which is maybe something I need to do. It feels like I am going through a 1/4 life crisis of some sorts? I would love ANY info/advice from you guys, as I feel no one really understands where I am coming from. Please help! Lala
  9. Hello, I am writing here because my partner (with whom I live) lost his grandmother last week and he is really not doing well. He participated in the ceremony and followed her from the very moment she passed to the burial. I know he chose (because he promised her) not to leave her body alone until the burial, so he identified her at the morgue and then helped bury her (carried the body and opened the shroud in the tomb to apply rose water - Iranian tradition). He was raised in the US so it's not like he saw this many times in his life so I know he is extremely affected by what he saw and did. He is extremely proud and not very communicative for that kind of matter. He opens up sometimes but then locks himself down in his thoughts very quickly after. I feel completely ill-equipped to help him... he sleeps all day, moans and weeps at night, in his sleep,...he doesn't shower and can't focus. I know this is part of grief and it is "normal"... I would just need practical help... Tonight, he opened up and started talking about the people who apply make-up on the deceased... I thought it would be a good idea to follow him down this path and talked about it with him for a little bit and I could tell that he was pretty disturbed afterwards. So maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He was silent for a while and I told him that he could talk about anything if he wanted and patted his arm... but he shut down. I feel so sad that I can't help him... I don't know how to help him... and even if I knew, I wouldn't know how to say it since he is so proud and so private. Do you have any tips? Apart from being there for him and helping with the groceries/cooking and all... I know this already. Most importantly, is there a way to alleviate his trauma regarding seeing his grandmother's face on many occasions?? I know he mentioned that he cannot get it out of his head... Thank you so much for your help... I truly appreciate it.
  10. Hello, I am a Master of Arts in Liberal Studies degree candidate at Indiana University Kokomo. My intent is to analyze the existing writings of survivors from a wide range of traumas to see if they hold the key to creating a writing framework to help future victims. The research is confidential, the writings volunteers to the study send to me will not be shared or revealed in any way. I'm looking for trends across many texts. Below is an overview. I've also attached the consent form with all details. Please email me at nvanworm@iuk.edu with questions or to participate. My husband died suddenly in 2000. After three years, I went back to school. The grief and feelings of loss were awful. But, I survived. I'm now working on my graduate degree and because of my experience, decided to write my thesis on grief/trauma and writing. If you have written about your experience, you can help. I am seeking volunteers for a confidential research study on grief/trauma and writing in hopes of developing a framework to help future victims. If you have written about your experience, you can help. **What is trauma?** For this study, trauma is broadly defined as a uniquely individual experience that resulted in feelings of powerlessness with or without a physical threat to life. A traumatic event may involve a single incident or a prolonged experience that overwhelmed your coping abilities and impacted your quality of life resulting in post-trauma psychological or emotional distress. Examples of a single incident trauma includes but is not limited to rape, natural disaster, violence, accident, or the death of a loved one. Examples of prolonged experiences include but are not limited to domestic or child abuse, sexual abuse, major illness, or war. **What to expect?** To review the details, consent statement, and survey questions please CONTACT ME by e-mail @ nvanworm@iuk.edu. Please put “I am interested” in the subject line. If you want to participate, you will * electronically sign and return the consent statement * send your existing narrative (or whatever form your writing took) to the e-mail address shown in the consent statement. After I receive your consent form and narrative, I will send you a link to the survey (hosted by university-approved Qualtrics). After you complete the survey, your involvement is complete. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Please forward this information to anyone who may be interested in participating. Respectfully, Navi Vernon Consent Statement--please review.rtf