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Jesse David & Taylor Mom posted a topic in Loss of a Child
Good day, My name is Malik and i am 18 years old. Im new to this site, as I was looking for a support group. Today has been a shocking day and I still cant believe that my father has died. He died 11 am this morning here where I live in Bermuda. He did have pneumonia which came after a bad cold progressed while being in the hospital previously. My dad has been through a lot. In 2004 he tore his aorta artery, and ever since, the operation was a challenge on his health. We've been in and out of hospitals and recently, in January, my mother and him flew out to Lahy clinic where he undergoed an operation to remove aneursyms that had formed in his aorta. This whole experience has been a tasking and stressful period for me and my mother as I live with no other siblings. My brother lives abroad and my sister lives somewhere else in Bermuda. My dad was my main inspiration when it came to music. Being a musician himself, and having past experiences and knowledge in the music business/industry, he showed me a lot of things and gave me a lot of advice in regards to playing and developing as an artist. No one knew me better, and my potential better than my father; he knew when I wasnt playing my best and where I needed work and he also knew every reason for my shortcomings and was there to pick me up when I was down or in trouble musically, and period. We also shared a love for football, and we watched several games on TV over the years of Manchester United. He loved Manchester City, especially a special player named David Silva. Moving on from this experience, is going to be rough, but I am seeking help from anyone who is willing to offer support and guidance during this period of time. Thank you
I haven't been here for a while. Hard to see how this happens to so many people and we are left so...alone. At least that's how I have felt, being only "the girlfriend" of a person dying in a car accident. But I'm learning you're only alone if you let yourself be. And you. are. not. alone. For reading as a widow/girlfriend... I suggest a book called Companion Through The Darkness: Inner Dialogues on Grief [Paperback] - Ericsson It won't heal your wounds, but it will make you chuckle at the people who are "trying to help you." They have no freakin' clue. For those of you who might be like me... WRITE. Write a poem, a dream you had about them - good or bad. Write down everything you loved about them. The only other person in my relationship was me, and after my boyfriend died in a car accident.... it's up to me to keep him alive, and OUR memories alive. Not always how other people knew him, but our memories. Also- cry. Cry until your head hurts and until nothing else will come out. Cry in your office. In your car. Get it out. Don't let ANYONE tell you that you should have moved on by now. What do they know? Do what is right for YOU and for the person you lost. Eff everyone else. (meant that in the nicest way possible.) Do I still have his toothbrush by mine? Absolutely. His comb, deodorant? Of course-it's right there on the counter with my stuff. I look strong. Don't let me fool you. I'm not. Ever get that? "You're so strong." No- it's not about being strong. It's about avoiding all the ways to off yourself, remembering the person you lost wouldn't want that, and remembering people like your little five-year-old nieces, or your mom... or for some people- your kids. We all have someone not to leave, no matter how much we want to. Don't let me fool you. I'm a good faker. I'm jello inside drinking away at my bottles of wine and rum without him. I'm not strong, but I'm here. In NO way did this cure my heartache.... but do something for the person you lost. It helped me. For the first time in almost nine weeks I've finally felt like I've given him something, done something for him besides tie notes around his cross in the road and at his grave. I'm half crying through it- it's tough. Not meant to be anything for showy purposes, it's only for him and to hopefully help others who are trying to get through the mud of all this. Song for my guy.... this is how I get it out.... "Tears Fall Like Rain" Or if you just want to hear the music and read the words... Instrumental for him Click "Show more" for the lyrics. I hope it helps somebody.