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Hello All, Talking about this is hard but I figure an online forum may be easier. To give some background my Father recently passed January 30th. We were very close, some people said we were like twins we were so similar. He had a wicked sense of humour and a joy of life. Until he started getting all these health issues: throat cancer (successfully treated 12 years ago), prostrate issues and finally bladder cancer. He was only 66 when he died and I feel so alone. I can't believe I am looking at potentially 30 years without my best friend. The worst thing is he should have lived! He did the chemotherapy like a champ! He went to Toronto to do the surgery. The cure! All seemed to go well they got it all he was given a 90% chance that the cancer would never return. But there was an odd EKG reading prior to the surgery. They passed it off as a problem with the machine and proceeded with the surgery without asking him or me. After the surgery they did more tests and it was afib. They treated it all seemed well and within 5 days he was ready for release. But that night he went into resipiratory failure and was given the diagnosis of septicaemia, pneumonia and septic shock. My mother and I were by his bedside waiting for 15 days for him to wake up and let us hear his voice again. He never did. He had refractory septic shock, he relapsed 3 times. The last time all his organs failed and his intestines were dying. We had to make the call to take him off life support and let him go. Later I found out that afib is a sign of blood infection and since he was on chemo he did not show the normal signs of infection. So basically he was a dead man the second the surgeon started the operation. The doctors ignored an important test that gave a sign that he was not well enough to do the surgery. If they had waited and figured out what was causing the afib they could have fixed the issue did the surgery later and he would still be here. I feel he was stolen from me. I have been diagnosed as having PTSD. I didn't find this out until I had a health scare...no headache migraine scary... and I lost it in ER as the room they put me in looked like my Dads ICU room. I thought I was dying. I don't know what to do or how to make this better . It has been 5 months since he passed and I can't sleep, I can't enjoy life and everything seems so hard. I would love to hear from anyone who has dealt with a similar loss. Thank you you for reading.