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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

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Found 3 results

  1. I'm struggling to live

    I'm new to the forum. Just a little background.... My husband, the love of my life passed away 25th August 2013. Like many of you, the pain of grief has been unbearable, and although time changes the intensity of the pain, it doesn't actually 'heal' my grief. For me, it's just changed from acute grief to chronic grief - that is, that the loss of my darling is constant, ever present, and debilitating. I need to ask you to bear with me, because this isn't a plea to fix this - because nothing and no one can get into my skin and actually fix, heal, or make me feel better. Many people have said I'm depressed. In some ways, that's true, but as I've had grief counselling, anti depressants and other counselling, nothing has fundamentally changed. The grief is constant and unrelenting. At the beginning of this truly terrible 'journey', the mental torment was so great that I wanted to die - just to find some peace. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. Then the acute pain/torment lessened - but not substantially enough to enable me to function. At 11 months, I have no motivation and I do what has to be done. Not out of choice, but out of necessity. My grief was so intense at the beginning, that I could just about cope, by existing moment to moment. I couldn't bear 'looking' beyond the moment - that was the abyss which was too distressing to look into. For a while, that worked a little - not completely, but it eased the acute pain. It stopped me from physical self harm. As the months passed, the 'living in the moment' became a habit, and it was ok - for a while. However, it didn't help me to function at all. By that I mean that nothing mattered. Nothing matters now. So here at 11 months, this is the picture & it's pretty brutal. I have a loving family, loving friends. They all care, and I care about them..that they are well and happy. Trouble is, I don't care about me, because without my darling, my life is over. There truly is nothing to live for. I understand that living in the moment can be a wonderful way to live. In fact, it's the only way to really live. But not for me, because its not authentic to my character. We were soulmates, best friends, my ONLY intimate, my rock. There will never be anyone else for me - my husband will always be the only love of my life. The living in the moment no longer works. Whilst it was ok at the start, it's not now. I've read on other websites that we should use this to cope - it worked for a while, but I have to ask....how does one live purely in the moment, without any hopes, without joy, without dreams. To me, that's not living - its just existing and I can't just exist. . Without my love here with me, nothing matters and life just isn't worth living.
  2. This might help anyone looking for a job after their loss http://thegoodnewsis.com/Articles/how-to-find-a-job-after-a-long-absence-from-working
  3. Here is how I moved forward after the unexpected death of my husband http://thegoodnewsis.com/Articles/when-my-husband-died