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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

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Found 4 results

  1. So I am new with posting here so here goes. I lost my dad back in February so right now I am past normal grieving time (6 months I guess). I'm 24, if that matters. I was out of the state when it happened and he had been sick for a while and I think I just had my head in the sand thinking he would be fine while I was gone. When he passed, I wasn't there. I didn't get to hold his hand. He didn't hear me say I loved him over a stupid FaceTime while he was on his death bed. All in all, I'm just angry with myself and I just don't know what to do to forgive myself for making a stupid decision of going away. Any advice?
  2. Hello all, My dad passed away about 6 months ago from liver cancer. He was diagnosed in November and died 5 weeks later. It took everyone by surprise, even him. The doctor told us he would have at least 6-8 months with chemo, but he only made it to 1 chemo appointment. He was 65 years old, and I was 25 at the time. Everything seems out of focus now. My dad was truly my stability, my "calm in the storm." He knew everything about EVERYTHING and would always be there to help me, no matter what. I feel like I've lost my anchor and I'm just drifting in the emptiness now. My mom was very dependent on my dad and I have kind of replaced him in terms of taking care of her and making sure finances and the house are squared away. She is so depressed but refuses to talk to a therapist. I'm doing whatever I can to help out but I'm still trying to process things in my own way. I'm not sure what I hope to get out of writing this post. Maybe just talking to people who might understand more of what I'm going through will help. I do what I can to face the day and live my life how my dad would want me to, but it just gets really difficult to deal with at times. I have my dad's voice in the back of my head guiding me and telling me what I need to hear, but it can never replace the real thing. He won't be there to walk me down the aisle, see his grandchildren grow up, or help me buy my first house. He is missing out on so much of my life. It hurts to know that anyone that I meet in my life after this point will never get to meet my dad at all. I miss him so much. Thank you for listening, I really appreciate it.
  3. Hey ... I feel a little pathetic posting my problem after reading some of the tragedies some of you have faced with recent deaths. However, i lost my dad in a sudden motorcycle accident when i was two years old. I have no memories of my dad just seen photos. Im now 20 years old and all of a sudden the realisation that i don't or never will have a dad has hit me. I find myself getting clingy with boys and it must be because all i want is that male attention. I feel like a part of me is missing. Im not like my mum or brother I'm apparently very much like my dad looks wise and personality. I just sometimes feel like i don't belong anywhere. My anger is getting out of hand as well and I'm not even a angry person. As I'm getting older I'm realising how much I'm missing out on. It literally breaks my heart to know when i get married i won't have my dad walk me down the aisle. Has anyone else lost a dad when they were young and struggling to come to terms with it as they have got older?
  4. Today is 4 months to the day I lost my father. He was my best friend, confidant, supporter, cheerleader and hero. I am still in shock to know he is no longer here to hug, kiss or hear his laugh. I miss that so very much it literally breaks my heart and takes my breath away at times. I do take anxiety meds when needed, and try to press through emotions without them. But I admit, sometimes (especially at night) it’s just too much to deal with. I have been so consumed with cleaning his house out, and prepping it to live in – that now I am in, I find the quiet takes over. I feared that once everything calms down, the emotions would start to surface more. Don’t get me wrong, I cry EVERY DAY and there is not a day that goes by where I feel some level of sadness. Some days more than others. Now, that thing’s are calming down and I am in his house, I thought I would feel more connected to him and I get so sad when I feel disconnected. There have been a slew of things that went wrong with the move and the remodel and I think that anger and aggravation is clouding my sense of connection to him. Also, the neighborhood has changed so much since I lived here with him, so a simple trip to the store triggers memories and the sheer fact of even neighborhood changes. So much change. I am blessed and thankful for he left me his wonderful home, yet I fear I will be stuck in these feelings of loss while I am here as I cannot escape it. I have only been in the house 2 weeks and I hope this shall pass. I would love to give his legacy a try. I know he would be happy that I am here. I am just feeling OFF. Any advice?
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