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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

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Showing results for tags 'loss of adult child; issues with family afterward'.



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Found 2 results

  1. I am grateful to have found my way here. I hope others can help, I have run into a surprising thing with my sister and dad. My son, Parker, died a month ago. I am devastated. It was a complete surprise. He died of a seizure. I have been through waves of guilt, anger, frustration, intense sadness, depression, and also in some ways peace. I have begun to accept that no matter what I do, how I feel, what I talk about, or how I deal, the undeniable truth is he is never coming back. This is the absolute worst thing that has ever happened in my life, and I have been through some really tough times. I am a survivor, but this, nothing can prepare you for this. It is too much to handle some times. People who have been through this will know exactly what I am going through. But to make matters worse, my sister is being really awful toward me. As we were getting everything figured out, we tried to set up the Celebration of Life soon as many people were devastated. He had a huge impact on people and was loved by many. So before anything was even set in stone as to when we were going to do this, I contacted my sister, and asked her when she could be here. At that point in time, it was wide open. I knew my sister had a difficult schedule, so I asked her first when she could come for the Celebration of Life. It was complicated, but many people were grieving and needed closure, including me. She told me flat out that it wasn’t convenient for her until after Christmas. I felt crushed, but had so much going on that I couldn’t even attend to it. At first, my dad was supportive of me about that. But just yesterday my sister got really angry with me for saying that I thought her not being there was unforgivable. First, I didn’t say that, and second, and would have had to have come from my dad. I did say I was really disappointed in her not being there. I have also told her that directly. I am grieving for my son, I am feeling like the absolute worst thing that could possibly happen, has happened. And it feels to my like my sister is somehow making this about her. If she really couldn’t have come, which I don’t buy, but let’s say that was true, all she would have had to have said to me was that she is sorry she couldn’t have been there, not that it was inconvenient for her. I told her how that made me feel, but even worse, her saying the awful things she said is like salt in the wound. The bottom line is she wasn’t there for me, and that hurts. I have a huge amount of support from literally everyone else in my life, and have had nothing but kindness and understanding, except for from my sister and my dad. I don’t get it. My sister is definitely a selfish person but this takes the cake. I don’t even feel like I can deal with this. My head is spinning at the loss of my child, and someone in my family has to be so cruel. I won’t go into all the horrible things she said to me, but suffice it to say that it makes it pretty clear that her job, her time, her life, and her in general are more important than anyone else, in her mind. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, but I do feel really angry that she would choose now to be so awful. I wish I knew what to do, I have already made it abundantly clear that her behavior is unacceptable and that she is behaving selfishly. I told her she needs to apologize to me, but I doubt if that will happen. I wish there was something else I could do to feel better about this whole mess. I wonder if anyone else has had a similar situation, you are grieving a hug loss and people close to you act like complete jerks. I’ve got to say, I am rally shocked at people’s behavior sometimes.
  2. I am grateful to have found my way here. I hope others can help, I have run into a surprising thing with my sister and dad. My son, Parker, died a month ago. I am devastated. It was a complete surprise. He died of a seizure. I have been through waves of guilt, anger, frustration, intense sadness, depression, and also in some ways peace. I have begun to accept that no matter what I do, how I feel, what I talk about, or how I deal, the undeniable truth is he is never coming back. This is the absolute worst thing that has ever happened in my life, and I have been through some really tough times. I am a survivor, but this, nothing can prepare you for this. It is too much to handle some times. People who have been through this will know exactly what I am going through. But to make matters worse, my sister is being really awful toward me. As we were getting everything figured out, we tried to set up the Celebration of Life soon as many people were devastated. He had a huge impact on people and was loved by many. So before anything was even set in stone as to when we were going to do this, I contacted my sister, and asked her when she could be here. At that point in time, it was wide open. I knew my sister had a difficult schedule, so I asked her first when she could come for the Celebration of Life. It was complicated, but many people were grieving and needed closure, including me. She told me flat out that it wasn’t convenient for her until after Christmas. I felt crushed, but had so much going on that I couldn’t even attend to it. At first, my dad was supportive of me about that. But just yesterday my sister got really angry with me for saying that I thought her not being there was unforgivable. First, I didn’t say that, and second, and would have had to have come from my dad. I did say I was really disappointed in her not being there. I have also told her that directly. I am grieving for my son, I am feeling like the absolute worst thing that could possibly happen, has happened. And it feels to my like my sister is somehow making this about her. If she really couldn’t have come, which I don’t buy, but let’s say that was true, all she would have had to have said to me was that she is sorry she couldn’t have been there, not that it was inconvenient for her. I told her how that made me feel, but even worse, her saying the awful things she said is like salt in the wound. The bottom line is she wasn’t there for me, and that hurts. I have a huge amount of support from literally everyone else in my life, and have had nothing but kindness and understanding, except for from my sister and my dad. I don’t get it. My sister is definitely a selfish person but this takes the cake. I don’t even feel like I can deal with this. My head is spinning at the loss of my child, and someone in my family has to be so cruel. I won’t go into all the horrible things she said to me, but suffice it to say that it makes it pretty clear that her job, her time, her life, and her in general are more important than anyone else, in her mind. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, but I do feel really angry that she would choose now to be so awful. I wish I knew what to do, I have already made it abundantly clear that her behavior is unacceptable and that she is behaving selfishly. I told her she needs to apologize to me, but I doubt if that will happen. I wish there was something else I could do to feel better about this whole mess. I wonder if anyone else has had a similar situation, you are grieving a hug loss and people close to you act like complete jerks. I’ve got to say, I am rally shocked at people’s behavior sometimes.
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