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Showing results for tags 'long term survivor'.
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Hey, ...I'm dying of cancer and I just want to let nature takes its course. I've had cancer for 18 years; Breast 2000, 2002, 2004, Cervical 2002, Lung 2009, Squamous Cell skin and Melanoma of the skin in May of this year and now - Melanoma of my eye! I've had 9 surgeries, chemo and radiation both twice and god knows how many other tests and procedures. And, I'm done. I don't want anymore. My overall heath is poor, including CKD (kidney disease) that is close to the dialysis stage, which I also am refusing. I even had a heart attack recently no one invited me to. I'm so used to pain I just ignored it. I don't want anymore specialists or tests. As it is, taking care of myself is hard work enough. I live alone (with my cat). I'm "low income" poor. I have kids but one's too busy and the other is abusive. I feel like I can't die soon enough for my family. They've heard about my cancers for 18 years and they're as tired of it as I am (or maybe more). I fought before because my daughter was just 5 when it started and I had to raise her alone. Well, now she's 23, graduated from college and barely gives me the time of day. All I want now is to be free to enjoy what I can before I lose all of my vision and then, my life (here). I firmly believe there is something after this existence so I have never feared death. I just have to convince these money hungry doctors to get me Palliative care and Hospice. Then, I'll just paint and watch cable and take it easy. Anyone where I am? Probably not many because first - I know I'm different from others and second because so many people are scared to death to die, which I don't understand. Dying is inevitable; no visitors return from the undiscovered country (Shakespeare) but, it is also as natural as the birth life begins with. Yeah, I don't like pain but, death is a 1:1 proposition. And, I'm dying to see what is beyond, my boldness is not weakened by fear.