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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

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Found 5 results

  1. Recently, my 4 year old cat collapsed and had to be rushed to the vet. We were told his lungs were full of fluid and that he almost didn't make it. We have often worried about his heart as when he was a kitten, we were told that having a heart condition would a risk considering his breed and the fact he was the only kitten in a litter. We were allowed to take him home and he's has been coming on leaps and bounds up until now. He became breathless again this morning and I can't help but see that this means he's going to die. This cat has always been really special to me and I always thought it was fate that he came to us (he was born an only kitten just before my 15th birthday). We have such a good bond and I don't think I could ever love another cat as much as him. Im writing this for support as at the moment I don't have a lot of people to turn to. I live with my mum who struggles to cope with things like this after her son and father were diagnosed with cancer months apart. This has had an signification impact on her and as a result she has disconnected her self from the situation. I'm having to deal with the vet calls and organising appointments and I'm really struggling. Currently, my boyfriend, whom I would usually rely on for emotional support, is away on holiday and I don't want to ruin his holiday over " just a cat". i realise that I still have my precious boy but it's hard not knowing if he'll be alright or if this is the end. I dunno where else to turn to for support. Amy
  2. Hey everyone, I'm new to this place and I've been reading some of other peoples posts and somehow it's easier to support someone else, but not yourself. Odd. Anyway, I lost my father to prostate cancer about 5 months ago, after almost 2 years of struggling. The conclusions I can draw at this point is: - At the beginning I mourned but it didn't affect me that much. I blocked out everything just to move on with my life. I was actually proud that I handled it so well, and was saying this to friends and family. - Then boom, earlier this month it just hit me. Maybe it was triggered by my work situation, I don't know, but all of a sudden the depression hit me. It's a little better now, but I was truly surprised about it, it felt wierd that it came so long afterwards. - Since then for some reason, I've isolated myself from my family, fighting with them and just not wanting to be part of it anymore. I don't know, is this normal? This is unknown territory for me, since I'm normally very close to my family. Maybe it's something I have to go through I don't know. - Last but not least, I feel like a different person since he died. A more darker and cynical side of me has emerged and I don't really recognize myself. Is this also normal? I guess time will tell how it develops, but I hope I return to my sunny and happy self soon.
  3. I didn't know

    My husband JohnPaul died five months ago due to a massive cerebral hemmorhage, after living with kidney disease for 3 years and although I am past the first stage, I guess, my heart is still cracked and broken in a million pieces. In the beginning I felt like I couldn't breath without him, and I sobbed day in and day out. I was forced to make a long drive to Maine and clear out a summer home that John and I had shared with our grandson for 21 years, as well as having to clean and take personal things from his condominium . After that I was suffering with exhaustion but had to bring an entire house & condo into a tiny 2 room apartment. All the while I was stuffing my own sorrow deep down inside. His Family hated me and ripped our grandson out of my life, and if it weren't for people in my church I would have been lost. Later in August I had to spend a week in a clinic due to my repressed grief. I function now, but every day I feel his loss like someone smothering me. The holidays are coming and I hate them. I have no one to spend them with, so I am spending the Christmas & New Years on an island somewhere. I only wish that John were coming with me. I love him still and he is my angel.
  4. My stepfather, who has served as my father for forty years, since I was thirteen, is now at the age 87, facing mortality. He has been an extraordinarily self-disciplined and productive individual his entire life, a scholar who has produced a book a year since his retirement at the age of 60, and an activist for many causes. Even until a few weeks ago he was flying off to conferences to give lectures, and was diving into our gym's swimming pool head first. But then two weeks ago TIA mini-strokes set in and he's been severely incapacitated. He is lucid and can function at a severely reduced pace now if he doesn't leave his apartment and barely engages in any physical activity, but we all know the inevitable is on its way soon. This is hard for me, for him, for my mother, and for everybody else.
  5. Lost My Grandmother

    Hello. My name is Teri & I recently lost my grandmother after a short illness. She woke up January 14th with a tight chest. They saw their doctor the same day. He prescribed an antibiotic & sent her home. She took it for almost a week but got worse every time she took the pill. My grandfather & mother drove her into the hospital on January 22nd. The ER doctor said it was the antibiotics & tossed them. Declared her chest was clear & sent her home. She got worse. She was rushed to the hospital by ambulance on the 25th of January. By the 31st both her kidneys had completely shut down & she was put into a medically induced coma. I went to see her on the 3rd of February. She didn't know I was there, but I wanted to see her & tell her I loved her. She was transferred to a bigger hospital that same day as they were the only ones who could give her dialysis. She got double pneumonia in her lungs & was on a machine to help her breathe. It just went downhill from there. On February 12th the doctors took the breathing tube out of my grandmother, by 5:45PM, she was gone. My grandmother hadn't been sick since 1980. We all expected my grandfather to go first as he's not as strong health wise & is currently walking with two canes & has numerous ailments including diabetes. I didn't just lose my grandmother though.........I've also lost my mother. We've been together since I was born, it's been just the two of us for most of my life. One day I woke up & she was sharing this house with me, we were having coffee together, arguing over who's turn it was to cook. lol. Now, she's living with my grandfather & I'm living alone for the first time. I'm socially awkward, in fact I have social phobia, so I have very little friends. I live in the middle of nowhere & don't have any type of transportation (yet. that will be rectified in the spring, I hope). I still haven't cried for my grandmother, but find I'm eating more, am always numb & just don't feel joy in anything I do. I don't even play online games anymore because I just don't enjoy it. I don't know how to get out of this on my own so I thought I'd try joining a forum where maybe others would know what I'm feeling or at least understand me a bit better. I really wish I could share this with my mom but I feel like she needs me to be strong for her, after all it was her mother that died & she was closer to her than I was. It's hard to go from sharing everything with someone to sharing nothing that's important because you know they are going through enough & you don't want to be a burden. Well, thanks for 'listening' (reading) & maybe if I didn't come off too messed up.... Someone might want to be friends??