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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

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  1. Hello friends,..my name is Melissa I'm 53 years old and I was diagnosed with a very rare terminal heart condition. Cardiologist sat down with me and my family 2 years ago, that they've never seen a case like mine. So far every doctor has no answer on how they can save my life being to risky! Doctors discovered my main artery to the heart (LAD) is 100% blocked and to the point that the artery is completely gone and vanished. Supposedly doctors have never seen a case like mine because it's the main artery that was attached to the heart. I don't have a life Expectancy because the doctors have been honest saying each day is a gift now. So my sentence is to wait calmly & patiently for a very strong heart attack. Up until now, I've been fine and so very strong giving it all to God. But as each comes I'm breaking down, I'm getting so very scared holding the tears back, and im beginning to crumble into pieces. If you can all imagine the weight im carrying on my shoulders and knowing this type of death sentence. It's been like a ticking bomb waiting and waiting and Waiting. Their are some days I'm thankful to God for letting know his plan. It's given me time to repent and to tell him I'm sorry for my wrongs. But lately I feel a chapter/closure is coming soon. I've had time to dwell and prepare my loving husband of 23 years, and my 2 grown children. But I see their still in denial! I recently sat down with my husband and told him how important it is for me to start preparing to do funeral arrangements now. So my children are helping me and started a gofundme campaign. I lift up prayers for all individuals going thru a terminal illness. Melissa Peffer
  2. I'm only 24. Went to the hospital last month for breathing problems and that's when they told me I have cardiomyopathy. I have 1-2 years left at the most, I haven't done anything with my life. I haven't talked to anyone about it, I don't really have anyone in my life, and I still haven't really cried about it yet. My parents are alive and wealthy but won't admit anything is wrong. We don't have a very good relationship to begin with though. I just don't know how to deal with any of this.
  3. From the time my dad and mom got married, she had heart problems. She had three open heart surgeries and countless strokes. She was in so much pain by the time I was 21 and I never stopped to realize how much pain she was in, I was so naive. She finally got a heart transplant in October 17 2012. it was so exciting. she had been in the hospital since August and was going to miss my wedding (which ended up falling through and we broke up). She had such peace going into the heart transplant, it was our only option and something she wanted for a long time. after she came out, 10 hours later, she was awake and alert. then after weeks and weeks of her going from conscious to unconscious, the drs told us the Tuesday before thanksgiving that they couldn't do anything else. Her bad heart had destroyed her kidneys and liver. her body was too weak to survive, November 30 we pulled the plug after waiting and waiting for her to just wake up. I worked third shift and your the call at 2 that she had passed away. I bawled my eyes out as I drove to the hospital to say goodbye to her dead body. I blame myself so much forhow I treated her, not fully understanding the pain she was in. Also I admire her for being so strong and at peace. she was a wonderful mother, to say the least. And now I still spend every day grieving. I miss her so much and it hurts to think of her suffering. She is in a better place, I do believe in God and that she was a believer and is in heaven, but selfishly I want her here with me. Reality keeps sinking in that I can't just go to the hospital to see her like I did every single day she was in there. My dad sometimes cries, they were happily married 30 years. My sister seems to be over the matter. The week after her death she would have turned 50. I don't know how to deal, or if I will ever stop crying. people say I will but, even just a simple memory of her makes me choke up. I have never been much of a crier and now I can't stop. I was hoping that this forum would be an outlet for me to possible be able to move on. My father and I have a very distant relationship. We rarely speak yet live in the same house. I love him dearly but we never saw eye to eye and my mom was the mediator, now she is gone and I feel so alone. My boyfriend listens but he does not know how to comfort me, never experiencing this. one of the worst part is knowing that she suffered for so long and that we as a family made the decision to unplug the dialysis. Did we give up on her? were the doctors wrong, would she have pulled through. I made no part in that decision and had no say, I didn't want to feel this way. That we gave up on her, I drive past the hospital and cry. I look at her pictures and tear up. I can't talk about her, I just miss her.