Jump to content
Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
  • Announcements

    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'grandparents'.



More search options

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Forums

  • How do I _____ on the forum?
    • Help/Questions
  • Newsletters
    • Newsletters
  • Join Us on Social Media
    • Facebook
    • Pinterest
  • Loss of.....
    • Loss of a Parent (Mother or Father)
    • Loss of a Child
    • Miscarriage, Stillborn and Infant Loss
    • Loss of a Partner
    • Losing Family and Friends
    • Loss of a Sibling
    • Loss of a Pet
  • Violent Death
    • Suicide Survivors: Help for People Left Behind
    • Sudden/Violent Death in the Family
    • Grieving Teens
  • Caregiving & Terminal Illness
    • Caregiving and Grieving
    • Coping with Terminal Illness & Upcoming Death
  • Grief Issues
    • Grief and the Legal System
    • Coping with Loss
    • Anger and Grief
    • Grief Support
    • Difficult Backgrounds: Making Grief Worse
    • Marriage Issues
  • Spiritual/Religious Beliefs
    • Beliefs and Religion
    • Prayer and Blessings
    • ADC's, Visions, & Dreams
  • Non-Death Losses
    • Losses as a result of illness or injury
    • Biological Stranger
    • Loss of a Job
    • Divorce
  • Difficult Events
    • Coping With Holidays
    • Grief and War
  • Recommendations for Healing
    • Recommendations for Healing
  • Please tell us....
    • Recipes to Remember
    • Beyond Indigo Reunion
    • Beyond Indigo Pins & Wrist Band
    • Your Beyond Indigo Friendships
    • If you want to participate in the following...
    • Your Beyond Indigo Story
  • Archive
    • Archived
  • Introduce Yourself

Calendars

  • Community Calendar

Group


AIM


MSN


Website URL


ICQ


Yahoo


Jabber


Skype


Location


Interests


Loss Type


Angel Date


Occupation


Interests


Last Name


First Name


Zip


Country


About Me

Found 2 results

  1. Hi guys, I'm not sure how active this forum is, but I've been having a very difficult night, and thought I would find some relief in expressing it. I would also love to know if anyone has been put in a situation similar to mine. I lost both my mother and my sister when I was 7 years old. My mother suffered from a brain tumour, and my sister struggled with disabilities (mute, blind and couldn't walk) though I'm not sure what caused her death. I was too young at the time to understand and I'm not sure anyone around me was comfortable with explaining it. She was two years older than me and I've been finding it difficult to cope with wondering what she would've been like, what advice she would've given me had she been healthy, as an older sister. Whether she would look similar to me. My mother was incredibly supportive of me and losing her without her being able to guide me through the rest of my childhood was awful. Following these losses, I had no other option but to move in with my maternal grandmother, as my mother didn't want my father to take on the responsibility of looking after me. My father lived with his parents at this time, my paternal grandparents, whose house was about a 5 minute walk from me so I could visit often. Though my relationship with my dad was always distant and insufficient, my paternal grandmother was quite possibly the kindest and most caring person I had ever met, and treated me as if I was her daughter. She acted as my 'substitute mother', a role that my maternal grandmother hadn't ever been able to fulfil in the slightest. Unfortunately, she died after suffering from cancer when I was 12. This was excruciatingly painful, and I was in crucial need of comfort and support, though my maternal grandmother rejected my attempts at seeking this from her. My dad moved out shortly afterwards, and I visited my granddad as often as possible. He had Parkinson's disease and died a year later. The house was sold, I then had less opportunity to see my dad, and to this day, feel as though I have no one looking out for me. The fact that my grandmother has not given me the emotional support that I need so badly leaves me with a lot of resentment and bitterness, which then quickly turns to guilt because I'm aware she will die at some point in my life, whether that is soon or further in the future - unpredictability that is also difficult to deal with - and I will hate myself for not appreciating that she is still here regardless. She is here for me simply because she feels she owes it to my mother, but not to me. Still living here is becoming increasingly more painful as a result. My 18th birthday is at the end of this month, which means I will be able to hopefully put my childhood behind me and begin a new life for myself, the issue is that mental illness (partly caused by these experiences, partly due to bad luck) is interfering with my grades which could potentially prevent me from attending university and moving out will be delayed. I don't know how to move on alone, how to accept that this has all happened, how to want to get better mentally, how to get through Christmas, and focus on my studies. I don't think I will ever shake this feeling of loneliness since what I've lost cannot be replaced. I try my best to swallow this all and power through, but on days like this, it piles up. Thank you for reading, I welcome anyone to share similar experiences and let me know how you have dealt with them.
  2. I don't know where to start but I do know that I need to get a lot off my chest. I need help. I am currently in grad school at the moment. Just last week I had to return to my hometown to say my goodbyes to my grandma who passed a week before that. Her and I became absolutely close during my years at college. The reason why? I had lost my mom (her daughter) during my senior year of high-school to lung cancer. My dad died during my senior year at my undergrad, and my brother one month after graduation. I am utterly at lost here, being that these were the only people who I was really close to. I have older siblings, two sisters. But, I have never been able to get along with them as they are excessively jealous, dangerous, and angry all the time. My mom and my grandma trusted my sisters to do the right thing, to help them in their time of need...but they didn't want to. My oldest sister physically fought my mom and disrespected her all the time, made my mom pay her to take her to her chemo sessions or to the hospital. This sister did the same thing to my grandma as well. My other sister was granted power of attorney over my grandma, but she had never been concerned with my grandma's health until then. In fact, she always talked about how she couldn't wait for my gma to die so that she could move on with her life. Now mind you, both sisters don't have any income...jobs or that matter, but they we're very successful in the past. I am the only one that has graduated from college and gone to graduate school. My sisters have been angry at me for this reason, because they feel that they had given their lives away to raise their kids and to help my mom and grandma out. They also grew very resentful of having to care for my disabled brother who passed. However, I just remember growing up....that my mom did all of the the work by herself...My siblings are much older than me by the way, by twenty...thirty years. I could understand their anger in that regards, but I have been feeling quite alone in this journey through grief and loss. My sister who was granted POA blocked me from seeing my grandma while she was in the hospital, she didn't include me in making any of the funeral arrangements and so forth. A bunch of crazy, petty mess. I decided to attend my grandma's viewing instead of the funeral, because I wanted my time to say goodbye to her to be special. I wrote her a very long letter about my favorite memories together, my frustrations with not getting a chance to see her, and all of these things. I left behind two rings and a handmade bracelet that she liked of mine. I don't know....I'm just feeling angry and disappointed in this situation, feeling that it's not fair that I won't get the chance to talk with my parents, my brother, or my gma anymore. I feel hopeless, empty, and just emotionless? I am angry at my family for abusing my mom and my grandma (physically, mentally, and verbally) I am angry for having to watch this vicious cycle unfold for my entire life. I am angry that I could not do anything to help solve the situation, or to find the courage to speak up when things weren't right. I will write more, but this is enough.
×