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I lost my dad the month after my 9th birthday. it is now a month till my 18th birthday but the past few months I have been struggling soo much. I lost my dad at the age of 9 to a bad car accident. I remember that day and mum getting the phone call , this day is pretty clear to me along with the day of his funeral althugh I csnt remmeber anything else , my whole childhood is a blur I can' remember 1 thing , I can't even remmeber the few months after his death. every day I never stop thinking off him , but I csnt get the though of him not being here out of my head. it' the first and last thing on my mind. I give up soo much it kills me seeing other people with there dad's and even talking about there dad's I feel like a huge part of me is missing and that my life is gunna stay like this forever , I'm hardly sleeping at night all I do is lie there and watch TV or stare out the window , I feel empty and strange , I then go on to listening to music but most the songs I listen to relate to how I'm feeling and what I'm going through , I feel like such a child for crying soo much . I've been talking to a new friend that I like and tonight I get really dry with him and felt like I was taking it out on him , I just want someone I can talk to , I'm scared talking to people incase they tell others or think it' for attention