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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

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Found 6 results

  1. Hello there, Almost a year ago I lost a really close friend to suspected suicide and I am still having a hard time dealing with it. They died my senior year of high school, so thier life was just beginning and now its over. They died in thier sleep, so we never knew if it was an accident or on purpose. I was really close to my friend and we bonded junior year. I was obviously devastated the first few months after thier death, but when I started college, I thought I had a handle on it. I was going to counseling at university and spending time with friends. However, after having memories brought up from that time , all the feelings i thought i dealt with rose back up. The disbelief and just unending sorrow. I know I will have up days and down days. But will I ever be okay?
  2. Hello, friends! The message you are about to read is going to be kind of depressing, so, y’know, you’ve been warned. On 4 May 2014, I lost a good friend of mine in a car accident. He’s my first friend to die and the only death in my young life I wasn’t prepared for. His death has severely impacted me to the point of me needing psychological help as well as a dog to make sure I get up every morning. Right after he died, I was far away from his friends and family, and even though I was able to visit everyone, I wasn’t able to stick around them and really get in some good conversations and general support while mourning. I felt and still feel completely alone a lot of the time, which is exactly the reason why I’m trying to create a show that deals with death and mourning. I love watching shows. I always have. I love shows so much, I want to write them for a living, and make other people as happy as television shows have made me. I kept thinking after I lost my friend, what would Cory Matthews do (Boy Meets World)? How would Will talk to Uncle Phil about this (Fresh Prince of Bel-Air)? What would Winnie say to Kevin (The Wonder Years)? What would the cartoon version of Lizzie MaGuire say (Lizzie MaGuire)? I had no answers, because these episodes do not exist. I’ve already written the pilot episode for the show I want to make about people grieving, that’s where you come in. I need your help. I need your stories about losing someone you care about. It can literally be anyone: mom, dad, sister, brother, cousin, best friend, child, PETS! You name it! Death affects us all tremendously, and I want to hear your stories! I know my friend’s death will affect me for the rest of my life. The other thing is, is that this show is going to be realistic. Not every episode has a happy ending, because life doesn’t always have happy endings. HERE’S WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR, FRIENDS! If you have struggled with drug addiction, alcoholism, or any kind of substance abuse since your loved one died, message me! LET’S BE ALL INCLUSIVE, YO! I want to write an episode in Spanish (Hablo español, amig@s!), and let’s also keep in mind that different cultures deal with death differently! I WANT TO REPRESENT AS MANY DIFFERENT CULTURES AS POSSIBLE!!! It doesn’t matter if you lost someone six months ago or thirty years ago, message me! I want your stories to be memorable. So this kind of requires you to be a pretty good story teller, and you have to tell me when my writing is nothing like you or you just don’t like it for whatever reason. If you gained stronger faith in your religion, or lost your religion, because of a dead loved one, message me! I wanna read or hear or see your stories. You may message me here or send me an e-mail at budbuland@gmail.com, tell me all about you and your deceased loved one. Writing an episode of a show based on you requires me getting to know you pretty well, so we’ll be e-mailing and probably calling and maybe even Skyping. You helping me to make an episode based on the loss in your life will be upsetting, I promise you. But wouldn’t it help others to have a guide of how to lose someone they love? That’s why I want to make this show. MESSAGE ME! I CAN’T WAIT TO READ ALL YOUR STORIES! Love forever, Bud
  3. My childhood friend was KIA in Afghanistan in September 2013. He was a Ranger and was the guy that always came home. He had been on many combat deployments prior to this and had many stories to tell. He was KIA while training an Afghan soldier that decided to open small arm fire on him and 2 other special forces troops. I am stationed at Dover AFB with my AD husband. We were able to attend our friends' dignified transfer and it was surreal. He had a fiancé and a close knit family that he left behind. I cry everyday and cannot stop thinking about him. I feel like I shouldn't be so upset because I'm not his fiancé, sister, mother, etc. Has anyone else dealt with this situation that can help/give me insight?
  4. There are no words... to desribe how I feel inside.. I feel strange posting here.. that I will be judged for doing so.. Sorry in advance.. My story is this: When my mom had me, I had a twin, but he died in her stomach at 6 months old. This was the first time my heart was broken... Over the course of the years... I have lost two aunts, a grandma who I was close to, cousins and other family members.. I am only 25 years old. I do not know what to say.. I guess just speak from the heart.. On top of these people that passed away.. Most of my family I do not talk to, as they do not want anything to do with me.. which hurts a lot..the reasons are because a lot of them are on drugs, a lot of them do not care or my mom has tricked them into never wanting to talk to me... I am in tears saying this... how much it truly hurts inside... I feel like crap... I have had to go through this life... with so much pain and loss... I have lost so much family and friends... so many of my friends have died...in horrible ways... some left me... and betrayed me...when my birthday came around.. this year most of my family did not even care.. I did not get a text or phone call..even though I was there for my siblings on their birthdays..My whole life has been pain and suffering... it still is, even though its more stable.. I hurt inside deeply... I feel as if there is a deep hole in my heart.. I crave more than anything else in the world... to find someone who can love me for me.. to love me the way my parents never did..or my family... I am jealous of my friends... of people I see walking on the street... around.. they have no idea... no idea what it feels like.. to be alone.. to know your family does not care if you are alive or dead... Recently I talked with my baby sister... and it went bad.. My mom had twisted her mind so much.. to where she does not care anymore... about me.. I still care for her.. I honestly.. ask why myself sometimes why I keep on living...I think a lot has to do with the good friends I meet.. I sometimes wish I was never born.. never brought into this world... I feel like job in the bible... losing everything... which I have... I still cry at night... I remember when my family rejected me.. completely... I cried for years every night... I still hurt inside.. I feel so empty... I put a face on everyday that I am fine.. but inside I am not... I do not feel okay... I feel broken...the big part of my life.. that kept me going was I believed there was a god and there was a plan for all of the pain I went through.. but how could god make someone suffer like this? How could he make someone lose their whole family and friends and so much more...On top of all this.. I was abused growing up... I was abused in everyway you can imagine... sexually, mentally, verbally, physically, it was a living hell for me.. my mom abused me sexually a lot when I was growing up.. so did one of my brothers.. my mom and her boyfriends would beat me up everyday... treated me as her slave.. and clean up the house everyday...if I didn't I didn't eat that day. She would make me stand outside in the cold in shorts with no shirt when it was 20 degrees or colder for hours to punish me. She beat me with a broomstick and broke one over my head, her boyfriends would beat with electrical cords and I had gashes on my back from it and still have the scars, she split open my head a lot of times with different objects... it goes on and on.. My mom would put me down everyday.. tell me how much she hated me, how I was her slave, how worthless I was, how useless I was... she and her boyfriends would play mind games with me... it went on and on.. I am not sure if I can post all of this here.. I am sorry if I went against the rules.. this is my story of loss... pain... suffering. Please help..because I am not strong.. I am weak... I feel like I will never be happy... I feel like I need to share this... if there is a chance I could ever feel even a hint of happiness.. in my life...
  5. We all want the people we love to be remembered forever, and to be shown and shared with the world. Post the pictures of your lost loved ones for everyone to see
  6. Hello all, this is my first post and I am not really sure how this works, so I thought I'd give it a try. I heard about this website and heard that there are some really good people on here. First of all, I feel like talking about my brother's loss has really helped me, but I was looking for some advice from people who have gone through a similar tragedy. Just 2 days ago, I lost my brother (who was also my best friend) at the age of 18. We were only 3 years apart so we were incredibly close. He was suppose to have surgery to have his spleen removed because of his ITP blood disorder. The surgery went terribly wrong and the surgeon went straight through the spleen and hit the aorta. They could not get the bleeding to stop and he died on the operating table. My parents called me and my sisters into the hospital and told us what had happened. This became the worst day of my life as Ihad cried the entire day thinking about how simple the surgery should have been and how he should be in the recovery room at this moment. At first, I was in denial and then I became very angry. I can't sleep and never feel like eating. I would never result to drinking because I know that would disappoint my brother. I looked up to him and saw him as my hero even though he was younger than me, since he never complained about having to go to the hospital every week to have blood work done. I always promised myself I'd get a tattoo if something like this ever happened, but I want it on my forearm so that I can always see it. I also wake up at night and check his bed, hoping that this entire ordeal was a nightmare and that I would see my brother fast asleep. I pray to God that he would just rewind time and bring him back from a successful surgery. I only wish I could have at least said goodbye. I have always believed in heaven, but until that day I can't stop worrying that there is no afterlife and he's just wandering around in lonlieness. I hate that I cannot be there to protect him anymore. What I really want to know is, have any of your deceased loved ones ever made contact with you or gave you a sign that they were ok? I've just been waiting and hoping we would get some kind of sign that he was safe and happy and it hasn't come yet. My friends have all been really supportive of me, but I felt like joining this website and being able to talk to people who have suffered a similar loss. I apologize if any of this sounds ridiculous. Any help or support is really appreciated and thanks in advance for taking the time to read this.