Advertisements 09/05/2017Hi all, I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed. Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com. As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
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Hi everyone, I lost my boyfriend, Jake to a heroin overdose (was later found out it was 100% pure Fenanyl he was sold) May 9th, 2017. I truly feel that Jake was my soulmate and I still find it extremely difficult to believe/accept that he is no longer here on Earth. Some days are better than others. I have been having a rough couple of days and have felt very alone, so I figured I would sign up on here to talk to people who are similarly struggling. I have a difficult time wrapping my head around the reality that he's gone. When I think of him, sometimes it still doesn't feel real. I don't know when it will begin to feel truly real. I have a difficult time sleeping, and have only noticed this recently. I hate sleeping. I don't know what to do. I feel most alone at night time, when he and I would stay up all night talking, and when the rest of the world is fast asleep and I am alone with my thoughts. I found Jake dead in his apartment, and this is something that has been extremely difficult for me to deal with. My anxiety is at an all time high. I have worked so hard to get off of psychiatric medication prior to his death, and I do not want to revert back to it...but some days I just feel so physically sick and hopeless...what can I do? I have tried guided meditations and they only work sometimes. I see a grief counselor weekly which helps, but I just feel so stuck in this pain. I hate it. I guess I just want to feel support. I'm 22 years old and I have experienced something not many people my age ever have to experience, so it's isolating. I have recently put together a blog(here) of my journal entries to him, in order to not only help myself, but to also help others. As soon as Jake died, I was googling things like "my boyfriend died, what do I do?" and I didn't find much of anything and felt completely hopeless and lost. I knew I wanted to share my journal entries in hopes of helping people and connecting with people who are coping with the same thing as me. I'm at a loss for words. I guess I just wanted to put my first post out there and begin to integrate into the community. xx