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Found 4 results

  1. Marriage in the afterlife

    Hi - I am new to this forum, but it has already proven to be some form of "comfort" to read the stories of others and see that going crazy is a common experience following the sudden loss of a partner. I found my boyfriend passed away just 10 weeks ago at age 27 from sudden heart failure, and I have yet to post in the Loss of a Partner section, but definitely will do so when I feel ready to share our full story. But specifically at this time, I am heavily dealing with the difficult loss of hope for the future & a desire to leave this earth to be with him (suicidal), and I am posting here about my unresolved questions about marriage/partnership/love in the life after leaving this earth. My boyfriend and I are believers & we did our best to do everything the "right" way - so of course the questions of "What kind of God would allow this to happen?" "Why didn't God intervene with just a tiny miracle or at least warn me ahead of time so I can try to pray and stop it?" "Shouldn't good people be rewarded for the wonderful things they do and evil people punished?" have gone through my head. Together, we grew closer in our personal relationships with God (reading the Bible more often, reading other Christian books about purpose and vision, praying and going to church more often), and we even practiced celibacy for a time period in order to develop our relationship the right way (we did have sex outside of this time period, however). For the first time in both of our lives we found real & true love & wanted marriage, we were planning engagement within 6 months, and we had not been blessed with children yet - so when he left this earth he also took all of my hope & future plans. Although I will never understand why, I am moving out of the denial process & am just now accepting that my love is NEVER coming back, and that i lost half of me to heaven. So now my questions remain about our relationship status in the afterlife. I know that the Bible says we will not marry or be given into marriage in heaven, and we will not have earthly bodies so there is no function for sex. I also know that we may be arranged by families in heaven, so husbands and wives will be reunited with their children & other family members... but what about the familial relationship between partners if they were never given the opportunity to be officially married in a church by an ordained minister here on earth? Will I be reunited with my boyfriend in heaven in the same way a husband and wife would? From the Bible, I also can see that once our bodies are resurrected, there is a possibility that there will be marriage on the New Earth when creation is redeemed to God's original standards forever, especially since the Bible mentions that children will continue to be born. The Bible also mentions that God will "restore to you the years which the locust have eaten," so can I expect that my love and I will have the chance to marry and be blessed with children on the New Earth since we were robbed of this opportunity by having our years together stolen from us on this earth? If this is so, what can I do to ensure we will be given this chance to marry on the New Earth? Should I abstain from sex, marriage, and children for the rest of my life? Should I become a nun? Or if I do eventually fall in love again, should I never officially marry so that I can remain "single" just as my boyfriend was at the time of my death? Should I die young just as he did in order to ensure that we recognize each other & are on the same page in the afterlife? I may sound like a nut for such questions (I'm actually beginning to accept the nut I have become now), and I know it is impossible to know everything bcuz we are not God himself, but I cannot begin to explain how DESPERATELY i need to be back with my loving partner for the rest of eternity & these are questions for which I need clarity in order to decide how long & in what ways I will continue living my life out...
  2. Time has slowed, I think to give me extra life to make sure I can make you proud. I often feel responisble for your passing, as both of our lifes were so full of weakness and seemed to be straying off the right path, more me than you. I very much dislike ''regretting'' things, but I honeslty refuse to forgive myself for not spending more time with you when you needed me the most. How selfish and focused on my demons and weaknesess I have been the past year, I have noone to blame but myself. And as it seems it is too late to tell you this I have hope it will reach you and can fill the hole I have created. The weeks prior to your passing is when my life was getting as low as it could in my eyes, instead of turning to family and seeking love I turned to drugs and escape. I was lost in my own mind. I was a huge stress on you and should have visited you in the hospital more than I did. I guess I just always pictured having you with me. You were MY mom and I never thought you could be taken from me. Never say never I guess. So after your death instead of thinking of what you would want for me, I sunk even lower. Escaped further and further until I could not find my way home. I selfishley isolated myself and hidden emotions from the funeral, and honestly did not want to be there. I just wanted to bring you home and escape some more. I still don't handle it, and am asking God for the strength and closure I long for daily. I am very good at keeping a straight face and bottling everything up for only me to understand ( barley ). I need to feel you are at rest, and I need to earn forgivness for leaving you lone your last bit of time on this Earth when you were so sick and needed my love and company so badly. I was so blind and in denial, now I see and it is too late. I am devistated that I will never have my mom again, and I am not going to let that be the case for TJ, I know God took you for a reason, and that it was not ment to hurt me. I know you are in Gods kingdom and held in his arms. I love you mom. I miss you. I talk about you everyday and think about you even more. I always try to feel as you are surrounding me, and I am making good progress in my outlook on this beautiful thing I am blessed to call life. I was so close to being with you, and it just was not my time. I was saved and given a second chance by not only the Lord but two angles he felt I needed, and I thank him for them everyday aswell. My eyes, ears, heart and mind is open and I am accepting the good and bad, the things I can and cannot change. I am giving as much emotion to the people who deserve it most in my life as I can........ I promise to think & speak of you EVERY single day, and to keep up with my prayers and trying to do good with the short amazing time I have on this Earth ! Its not somthing you take, it is given. Thank you God for giving me the time I had with this AMAZING woman I was privlagged to call ''mom'', I have faith she is happy, young and keeping good company with you. Thank you so much.
  3. Unanswered Questions and Sudden Death

    This article spoke to me...I have had two child losses, one infant and the loss of my beloved 28 year old... REFLECTIONS ON SPIRITUAL PROBLEMS IN SUDDEN LOSS BY RABBI EARL A. GROLLMAN As a clergy-person, I counsel families who endure such tragedies as explosions, plane and car crashes, murders, suicides, earthquakes, tornadoes and other catastrophes where there are no forewarnings. Death is almost always a trauma; a shock to survivors. Sudden death ranks among the most severe traumas. One moment our life seems secure; the next, the world crumbles before our very eyes. The assault on our emotions makes it difficult to believe and accept. For life is taken so suddenly with a bewildering sense of unreality and powerlessness. Our plans, our dreams, and our role in life abruptly and devastatingly are altered. More than any life cycle event, sudden death raises profound issues about good and evil and reward and punishment. We may feel like we have been physically kicked in the stomach and spiritually violated with gnawing unresolved questions gripping our soul. When unexpected crises shatter lives, people of all faiths often ask the same questions: "Is it God's will?" "Did God make it happen?" "Was God angry at my loved one?" or "Is God trying to punish me?" "Don't you get what you deserve?" "Is God testing my faith?" "If God's will is for life, why did this terrible death occur?" People may call God's justice and mercy into question: "What kind of God would allow this to happen?" "Why didn't God intervene with just a tiny miracle?" "Or at least warn him or her?" "Shouldn't good people be rewarded for the wonderful things they do and evil people punished?" We may even question our own sense of worth and wish we had died instead because we "deserved" death more than our loved one. Did you know that some of the greatest spiritual leaders have asked the exact questions when feeling abandoned, forsaken, cheated by God? When unexpected sorrows shatter lives, faith may flicker low as we struggle with doubts about God's love. But if we never had to struggle, our faith would not be challenged and enlarged. Questioning is a normal expression of anguish and consistent with later spiritual growth. Mysteries will remain. Tragedy does not produce goodness but may reveal it with acts of kindness and generosity of the spirit from the faith community. We may find consolation in our Holy Scriptures and rituals. Our existence has been shaken but we may yet find in our journey of faith the ability to still affirm a meaningful life with a God who gives us life and is with us in death. http://www.hospicefo...?page_id=171392 Put out by the Hospice Foundation of America
  4. God is More

    Where would I go where would I run And if I found the strength to fly If I rose on the wings of the dawn And crashed into the corners of the sky If I sailed past the edge of the sea Even if I made my bed in Hell Still there You would find me Nothing is beyond You You stand beyond the reach Of our vain imaginations Our misguided pieties Heavens stretch to hold You And deep cries out to deep Sayin nothing is beyond You Time cannot contain You You fill eternity Sin can never stain You Death has lost its sting And I cannot explain how You came to love me Except to say that nothing is beyond You Nothing is beyond You If I shrink back from the light So I can sink into the dark If I take cover and I close my eyes Even then You would see my heart And You'd cut through all the pain and rage The darkness is not dark to You And night's as bright as day Nothing is beyond You You stand beyond the reach Of our vain imaginations Our misguided pieties Heavens stretch to hold You And deep calls out to deep Sayin that nothing is beyond You Nothing is beyond You Time cannot contain You You fill eternity Sin can never stain You Death has lost its sting And I cannot explain how You came to love me Except to say that nothing is beyond You Nothing is beyond You -Rich Mullins, Nothing is beyond You Dear God, You are beyond knowing, and much more than any words I use to contain You. Yet You are all I desire... Take me beyond mere mortal words and let me experience Your deepness within my soul. Amen. Recorded 9 days before Rich Mullins was killed in a car crash... (is a rough demo recorded at an abandoned church)