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Found 11 results

  1. Six years ago, my family went through a traumatic event. We were split apart. my mom had gotten colon cancer and had to go away. But not before my parents decided to get a divorce. I dont know all of the details, its still a touchy subject for my mom to talk about. After her cancer was gone, my mom came back and took my twin sister and my baby sister to live with her in Nebraska, and a year later she came and got me and my other little sister from my dad's house. Since then I have visited my father three times. It is now the holidays which is hard, especially since I lost my grandfather a few months ago to cancer. I am grieving hard, and my heart hurts every time I think of the ones I love that I cannot be with.
  2. Six years ago, my family went through a traumatic event. We were split apart. my mom had gotten colon cancer and had to go away. But not before my parents decided to get a divorce. I dont know all of the details, its still a touchy subject for my mom to talk about. After her cancer was gone, my mom came back and took my twin sister and my baby sister to live with her in Nebraska, and a year later she came and got me and my other little sister from my dad's house. Since then I have visited my father three times. It is now the holidays which is hard, especially since I lost my grandfather a few months ago to cancer. I am grieving hard, and my heart hurts every time I think of the ones I love that I cannot be with.
  3. Confused please help

    In may my dad passed away was his caregiver and he was my best friend and two days after my dad passed away my husband asked me for a divorce and we have four children together and now he keeps coming back every day wanting me to forgive him and let him back in the house and he's sorry he loves me he has put me through so much stuff through our whole marriage and relationship I don't know if it's worth it but then again I love him and my kids need him and my husband also suffers from PTSD so I don't know what to do and I'm confused. i have been with him for 14 years he's all I know I love him but I hate him any suggestions are open on the table
  4. Life about to change

    I met my husband in the first year of college. He was my first one , at that time didn't have any sexual experiences with anyone.After four years we got married, bought a house had two daughters.He was disappointed every time I gave birth, especially the second time saying he REALLY wants a boy. In 2012 he suddenly changed job accepting a new one 400 km away from our home .He didn't let me know about his plans, just one night told me ,, pack the bag , I m leaving to my new job" . I felt abandoned and furious. Then I cheated him with a guy I met first in 2010 but didn t make any move . In 2012 after my husband changed his job I started having intimate relationship with this guy. Meanwhile my husband came every weekend but didn t spend time with us to compensate the days he was away from us. My affair didn t last too long , especially I began to understand that he didn t love me like I did , he only wanted to have sex with me and move along. Now my husband wants to divorce saying that for this five years knew that I was a cheater but didn't say anything because he had to take action but he thought it wasn t the right time. Still all this five years he was asking me to have a third child hoping it will be a boy. But I didn't want a third child especially with the health problems I had to face the other two times I gave birth . He was also a cheater . He admitted to me especially after I told him the proofs I had and he was astonished about the fact I knew and didn t say anything about it. Along the years I was aware that he had relationships but I thought that confronting him didn't work especially because when I tried to talk him about this things he would told me that I was crazy and said very bad words to me . Now he wants to get divorced . Is there anything to do to save my marriage? He is still away with his job and he s coming home every two weeks. He even took some of his clothes and said he wants to get it done as soon as possible and very quietly. I tried to explain to him that we can't erase 17 years of marriage in just two months. I didn t tell anything to the girls . It s the part that hurts the most. Any advice for me?
  5. I'm so confused... I don't know what I did wrong. I was only married for 3 years, and all of a sudden he wanted to end it... He ended it ON thanksgiving. On our anniversary... I just feel so lost. He didn't cheat, but all of a sudden he's in love with someone else... It kinda makes me feel like I wasn't doing what I should have been.. Like I wasn't giving him enough of my time, or love. But I did though. I did all of that because he was my world. He ended it 2 months after I had our child, our beautiful little girl who wound up being a still born. So it all sort of hit right there at once. And it's so hard, because now I'm all alone :(. He told me he still wanted us to remain really good friends, like we were before we got married. But i don't know if i can be friends again until i heal completely from the hurt of the divorce. Is that wrong? I mean I'm all for being best friends again, but only after i get over the shock of us splitting up. But i kind of still feel like I'm never gonna STOP loving him... I just don't know what to do. Someone please give me some advice.
  6. Every family law matter is unique and personal. The issues presented are the most important of your life. The sense of loss over the end of the marriage and the unknown consequences that it brings can be overwhelming. You may be asking, how will my children be impacted; what will happen to my time with my children; what will happen to my home, my retirement, my business; how will I make ends meet. LaFrance Law provides individual and compassionate guidance and counsel to assist people who are faced with one of the most difficult experiences of their lives. Our firm provides a level of service to every client, whether it’s a divorce, paternity, custody or modification of a prior order as if you were a family member. You will receive prompt responses to your calls or emails and sound and honest advice. postal code = 33609 address = One Urban Centre 4830 W Kennedy Blvd Suite 600 Tampa FL telephoen = 813-930-5542 http://www.lafrancelaw.com/
  7. So many mixed emotions, I am tired of this roller coaster ride and I want off! I lost my husband of 20 years on 7/25/2013 . Things changed in 2006 after my husband Mike was in a bad ATV accident and broke his back. He had the best neurosurgeon in state and after 9 months was able to go back to work. Over the next few years he began to change, he was not the same man I married. He was addicted to pain medication. I not a doctor by any means but, but it's like he became bipolar, big mood swings and very erratic. In 2010 he suddenly filed for a divorce, moved out, cashed in his 401K bought a new car, a 9mm gun, got a tattoo and was dating another woman. After about 2 months apart he begged me to let him come home and try and work things out. I was upset and felt betrayed, I did everything him and was not ready to forgive. He was like Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde. One day he would send me flowers and tell me how much he loved me then the next day would threaten to burn down our house if I did not take him back. He was living in SLC near his work at one of those extended stay hotels when he tried committing suicide the first time. He began texting me and my sister saying he took a bunch of pain meds and it would not be long. We called the police and they went to the hotel where he was staying. After breaking the door down they took him to the hospital where he barricaded himself again in the hospital room and began trashing the room. They were able to restrain him and check him out then transported him to another hospital to their psychiatric unit for 7. When he was released he lived with my sister for a couple months and really seemed to be getting himself together, he was the Mike I met back in 1992 again!! Things were going good for about 6 months then he started to distance himself from everything. He started missing our marriage counseling appointments, not coming home for a day or two and when he was home he was just not himself,he was a zombie and I was just his roommate/caregiver. He was being prescribed 120 Percocet per month and started noticing he would not have any left after 2 weeks. The last two weeks of the month he would be buying pain pills on the street. I know he was in pain, I don't doubt that at all. He was a mechanic and all the heavy lifting, twisting and bending was really taking a toll on him. I pleaded with him to find another job that was not so labor intensive, go back to school, talk to the Dr about going to a pain clinic...anything. After about 2 years of battling this I was tired and could not take anymore. I was so miserable. I hated coming home and I hated being married and I hated myself. I felt like a complete failure and no matter what I did I he was not happy. In May of 2013 I asked for a divorce. I told him he could have everything in the house or he could have the house. Things were quiet for the first month, then one night he came into the bedroom and pulled me out of the bed and began yelling at me and telling me what a rotten wife I was and calling me every name in the book. I quickly gathered a few thing and tried to leave and he would not let me go. I tried to call 911 and he grabbed my cell phone and shattered it then shoved me into the closet. I got up and punched him in the chest to get away, got in my car and left. He called the police and told them I had hit him, which I did to get away. I told the police what had happened and they charged us both with disorderly conduct. I stayed away for a few days to let things cool off. Since I work from home full time I needed to go home so I could work and pay bills since he had quit contributing to our household. I purchased the home on my own and could not afford to pay for a home I could not live in and then pay rent. I asked him to find a place and move out. He asked me to help him find an apartment which I did, he found one he liked so I paid the deposit and he was going to move in 2 weeks later. A couple days later while he was at work my daughter (who was 24 at that time) and I found a suicide note he had written to me. We were freaked out and knew what he was planning. The police were called and they went to his work and confronted him about the note and also found a loaded 9mm gun under the front seat of his car. Somehow he managed to convince the police he was not suicidal and it was a form of therapy recommended by his counselor. He was released to a friend who called herself his "Life Counselor" for 72 hour watch. Mike was angry that we called the police and the next day he went down and filed a restraining order against me for the fight we had weeks earlier when he pushed me into the closet and punched him in the chest. I did not know he had filed a restraining order until the Sheriff showed up at my house. I was given 30 minutes to get packed and leave the home. I did not want to stay with anyone he knew in fear of what he would do so I found a room to rent about an hour away. The next day I went down and filed a restraining order against him and a court date was set for 7/22/13. When we went to court the suicide note came up, his attorney told the judge "This was a form of therapy" the judge read his 6 page suicide note out loud in court, pausing after each paragraph the judge looked up at his attorney said "This is not a form of therapy". I pleaded with the judge to get him help, my plea went unanswered. Both restraining orders were granted and Mike was ordered to vacate the home by 6pm that night. When I first met Mike back in 1992 my daughter Jessika was 4 years old.....to her, this was her dad. My daughter was just as concerned with what was happening with him and felt it would be best to move in with him so that he was not alone. They had found an apartment a few miles away and got most of his stuff moved out that night. Even though he was ordered to be out by 6pm that night, my family and some close friends pleaded with me not to go home just yet, give it a few days and let him cool off. I went home 2 days later on 7/24/2014. My daughter stopped by the house when I got home that morning and we had a good talk. She said Mike was doing good and that he was excited that she was moving in with him. They had plans to BBQ steak that night and watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show together. That was one of their favorites! The next day my daughter went to work for a few hours then stopped by the house on her way home to pack a few more boxes and so I could help her rent a moving truck. We picked up the rental truck and took it to the house, she wanted to run to the apartment real quick to let the dogs out take care of a few things and would be back in about an hour or two. While she was gone, I went to my counseling appointment. When I left my counseling appointment I noticed I had 5 missed calls from her and 2 from a very close friend. I tried calling Jessika and she did not answer. I called my friend and she immediately said "Where are you, have you talked to Jess?" I told her she had called and I called her back she didn't answer. It was then she told me "Becky I am so sorry, Mike is gone...he killed himself" My stomach sank. Within a few minutes my daughter, the police and grief counselor at my house. When my daughter had went home, she noticed Mike's car was there and he was not suppose to be off work for few more hours. She went into the apt and called his name, looked in his bedroom and around the apartment and didn't see him. She didn't think anything of it, she figured he had went out to have a smoke or walk to the pool. She let the dogs out and went back in and layed down for minutes and was playing on her phone. The dogs were pacing back and forth and she noticed that her phone was connected to Mikes hot spot on his cell phone. She got up and started looking around the apartment again. She opened his bedroom door again and noticed a bunch of empty pill bottles. When she went over and picked up the pill bottles she saw the light in the closet on and opened the door and found Mike, her dad had hung himself. My daughter and I have went to counseling and continue to go to suicide support group. It's been 18 months since this horrible day we will never forget. My daughter still has nightmares and can't get that image out of her head. I am heartbroken, feeling betrayed and pissed off! How could he do this to her knowing SHE would be the one to find him? He did it because he knew it would hurt me too, my daughter is my life. I am pissed off at the fact that when the police were called they did not admit him to hospital for psychiatric evaluation...especially after finding a loaded gun, a suicide note AND a previous suicide attempt!! I'm just as pissed off that the judge didn't do anything either. To me someone should have intervened, I guess I didn't do enough to help him?? I feel like I should have just stayed and been miserable the rest of my life....at least maybe he would be alive. I still love him to this day and always will. I am really trying to move on with life and even started dating. I find myself pushing people away, I'm afraid of getting to close to anyone. I still have all of Mikes clothes, I'm just not ready to part with them yet, I can still smell him. A few days after he passed I found bag of rope that he left behind. I can't touch it without falling apart and thinking about one particular sentence in his suicide note "Whatever you do, don't open the door".
  8. Ive known for a long time that he was not the one for me. I emotionally and physically checked out a long time ago, now is the hard part. Here is the short version of my situation: When we met it was instant attraction. He was handsome, kind and liked my family and friends. There were a few red flags early on. He moved in to my home within months, and we quickly got in to the domestic roles. The friends of mine that he at one time enjoyed, eventually annoyed him. He was not as empathic to me or anyone else, and seemed to sort of live in his own little world. Then I got pregnant, not even by accident. I was completely alienated. He was possessive, did not want me leaving the house and would ridicule be for wanting to have a social life, calling me immature. Although I noticed it, I think that I chose to look past it. There was some other very terrible things happening in my family at the time, which played as a smoke screen for his bad behaviour. I blamed my feelings of depression and anxiety on the other issues, as well as my pregnancy. We have since had 2 children, and now that life has slowed down, and I am far more stable, I can see that he has been very emotionally abusive. I moved to a different room a few months ago, and cannot move until we get documents signed off by lawyers. Living with him right now is terrible! He reads my emails, texts and checks up on my history of what I look up online. He alienates me from my kids by inserting himself into everything that we do. I find myself trying to escape by drinking booze or actually leaving the house to do just about anything. I felt strong when I made the decision to finally end our marriage, but Im starting to feel depleted and weak. Good luck to all of you out there who are experiencing this during the holidays!
  9. Loss due to Divorce

    I feel a little guilty posting because it seems that most posts are from partners passing away. Im having a really hard time accepting my divorce that was filed by my ex-wife. I miss her, my kids, being a family, my house and just overall being married. I feel like someone pressed the reset button on my life and I'm 40….dont like it at all! Im trying to get over it and suck it up so to speak….some days are good some are horrible. Anybody have any suggestions that may help?
  10. When Lily died I missed her with all my heart and soul; but I wasn't lonely. I still had my husband. Our conversations filled in some of the gaps in my life that being without Lily left behind. Recently, however, I have been without my husband. I still have Summer and Riley to play with during the day but in the evenings I am struck with a new and unnervingly overwhelming feeling of loneliness. After losing Lily and the trauma of watching her go through chemotherapy and having my own traumatic miscarriage during that time, I have recently wondered why I would need to endure more heartache? Surely I had had my fill of grief and the sun was just going to shine on me for the rest of my days. The other night, amidst my tears and anguish and panic, I realised that it was perhaps just another layer of grief that I am meant to come to understand. How can I truly help others if I don't understand the fullness of what they are experiencing? Loneliness is quiet and still. But do you know what else is in the quietness and stillness? Lily. My lovely Lily. So I decided that this loneliness I feel is to be replaced with "Lily time". Now, I sit and contemplate Lily. I talk to her and I wait for her essence to arrive. Then I listen to what she has to say to me. Now I'm not lonely anymore. Lots of love
  11. Hello- I lost my mother 7 weeks ago after a long fight with cancer. It was a very long 6 months just watching her slip away. 3 weeks ago my wife of 13 yrs said she wants a divorce, which was a complete shock to me. She says that over the past few years I've changed. I am hoping that we can work it out. We are best friends and we both still love each other. My question is- how do I deal with losing the 2 women that I loved the most within 1 month of each other. And- is it possible that my wife is acting out of grief. I will add that she is messing around with someone 20 yrs younger than her. Sometimes I feel that after going thru 6 months of hell and watching my mom take her last breath- that my wife is still in shock.