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Found 4 results

  1. My mom passed away on September 2, 2016. She was my best friend and I miss her dearly. My mom always had my back. She help me start my practice, she lived with me and we worked together every day. She began to get sick in February 2016. At first we were in denial & I feel so guilty because with all of my training....I just fell apart. Even as she struggled with ALS we just couldn't accept the diagnosis. We tried to carry on and she even returned to work after surgery for stenosis.....still trying to be my mommy. I depend on her so much....we depended on each other. We mourned her passing together crying a lot even though we never spoke of the ALS. We tried to carry on....doing our normal. One day in the grocery store WE just broke down crying in the spice aisle....as though we knew it was last time...it was. To watch her decline so fast made my head spin & broke my heart. I am an only child....my Dad died in 2010....I feel so alone....I miss them so much. My husband had a major stroke two weeks before my mommy died.....I feel as if she sacrificed herself because she could see I was going down fast....trying to maintain my practice while trying to take care of her....I can't stop crying...the only thing that keeps me somewhat level is my son...he is 17 and in his first year in college. He needs me...but I'm struggling and I know it scares him. I need to go back to my patients but I can't....they need me but I need my mommy. The stroke has severely affected my husbands thinking and his judgment is way off....it's very difficult to deal with as my prana is very low & im not equipped right now...In the last six years I have lost my grandma, my Dad and now my mommy....I feel so guilty cause she didn't want the feeding tube but I was frantic because she couldn't eat...she died in the hospital after the surgery....I can't believe I went against her wishes in the end she acquiesced because she knew I was going crazy with worry because she wasn't eating. I remember going to the ALS clinic with her & the doctor kissed her on her forearm....he actually bent down and kissed her arm...me and mommy talked about it on the way home...we agreed it was strange but also knew deep down what it meant....everyone says time will heal all but I don't feel that way...
  2. How do I deal?

    I don't even know how to start but by actually telling how I feel. I lost my mom, best friend, only parent, my world 3 years ago to brain cancer. It was very aggressive and she only had it for 2 months before becoming stage 4. 4-6 months she had left the doctors told her but she said nope don't you put a timeline on me-she fought so aggressively back at that cancer and lasted 9 months. She never gave up or let it keep her down. Christmas Day everything changed she turned in a whole another person that was not her typical self. Me and my little sister took care of her every single day until she passed. she was my whole world she raised me by herself my dad never really wanted me so it was just me and her and my little sister. She just turned 21 last year but I was her legal guardian up until then. Even though it's been 3 years since she has passed away I'm still having a really hard time accepting her death some days I still find myself in shock that she's never coming back. I really don't talk about it too much bc I don't really have anyone to understand or even Listen. I just miss her and think about her every single day and nothing in my life has been the same since she's been gone. I don't know how this whole group thing works I guess I'm just looking for people to talk to who are feeling the same as me. I just want to know if this is normal to keep grieving this long? Any advice anyone has I'm so open to it. My mom was the most beautiful caring compassionate funny smart strongest woman I've ever known. I just miss her and love her so much. How do I cope?
  3. My six-year-old Scottish fold who was healthy southern he died in his sleep today's ago I cannot believe he is gone he was my companion my friend my world I loved him so much I am 39 years old and for the past six years he had been There for me through thick and thin.. I raised him ever since he was very small and I have grown attached to him so much that I cannot believe he is gone my friend my companion my love my world my everything is gone I can't bear to go home to empty house anymore I just gave away his food to my neighbor who also has cats ... I am in so much pain that I can't believe this has happened my friend Michael is gone I have never felt this much pain before even 30 days ago when I lost my sister to cancer I felt horrible and I feel depressed but not nearly as deep and profound as the loss that I'm feeling right now .. I just need to hear from people I just need to talk to someone that has experience the same things I just want to know what to do there are many things that I'm hearing people tell me get that other cat that looks like him but I am not ready I cannot replace him I cannot give love another animal right now ... I miss him so much when I wake up in the morning is the worst time because I keep thinking about him he used to wake me up every morning and I use a cuddle with him every night and now empty house
  4. missingmybeloved

    My beloved husband Sherman left unexpectedly February 24, and I am in such a world of overwhelming hurt. I have never been hurt this deeply and profoundly in my life and have experienced death and loss that was hard to live through in the past, but this is beyond anything I feel I can endure. He was only 55 years old. We spent 31 years together and he was the love of my life and I am surprised each day that my heart is still beating cause it was such in cadence with his. Everyday is like I am living a nightmare. You expect your nightmares to be only at night and you wake up the next day, but each time I have to drug myself to most nights, I wake up and realize where I am and what happened all over again, and the rest of the day is a waking nightmare. I spend all day crying and sobbing. I talk to him but it is constant pain to know I will never see him again, or feel his tender touch and words. No one can say anything to help and I don't drive anymore and all I can do is try and find somewhere to write these words down and hope someone else can read my into my sorrow and share their thoughts with me. I even sleep with the last things he touched to try and feel something from him. I don't know how I am going to make it cause all I want to do is be with him in death and it consumes my thoughts each minute. It doesn't seem like prayers, religions or words can be spoken right now to comfort me and I wanted to write these thoughts down while I still can. The pain has only gotten worse with each passing day. People keep saying it will get better, but don't know I can survive it the way I am now. Thank you all for listening to me. It is good to write down what I can't say aloud to others right now. I am glad this forum is here for me now, even if I don't want to be on this earth right now myself. I am hoping, asking and praying that wherever he is he will wait for me too and knows how much I love him in life as well as in death.