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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

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Found 8 results

  1. Hello. My name is Agness. I've been to Disney Land with my family not long ago. I'm married and we have a small daughter Anny. We've been walking whole day, our little girl bought the whole Disney Land. And after a long day, there was a feeling of heaviness or pain in the legs and in the head. I was really exhausted. The feeling is quite unpleasant and brings discomfort. At these moments I mainly wanted to lie down and relax. There are many different ways to let your feet rest. And of course, I know some secrets. I often keep my feet in cool water, in water with sea salt. Also, I use special creams, I do or make trays or baths with special components. And after the baths, I use a foot massager. It well enhances the effect of other means. Since I do the pedicure by myself, I visit salon rarely. The massager my master pedicure advised me and I began to look for a shop where I can buy it. Then I've noticed one source , started to explore it and it was really useful. Due to fairly accurate characteristics, I spent only 2 hours to choose it. Now my weekdays are much more pleasant and easier. I'm going to give the same massager to my mom, as she is a pharmacist and she is always on her feet.
  2. My friend recently became a widow when her husband passed away from cancer. I'll call her Connie here. It happened so quickly that those of us who feel her pain are still in shock too. She has very young children. I'll never get the image of our toddlers holding hands in front of the grave as the digger flattened the grave's earth out of my mind. Sometimes when I watch Connie I feel sad because I think she's in survival mode and not getting the time she needs to grieve. It seems as time passes, friends and family return to their own lives and priorities. As a friend, I still try to do the best I can. I'm posting in this forum because I think she may need a support network who truly understand the pain and how dark her days are. I want to introduce her to this thread and to encourage her to use this as a safe place. To be able to log on when her little ones are sleeping and when she's feeling low. To just read, absorb the words of comfort and advice... and maybe eventually write too. So, please leave a note to say hello/a message of support/links to anything that has helped you - especially if you're a parent of young children. I plan to send this thread to her. In hope that it will make her feel less alone in those dark hours. Thank you, Saki x
  3. Which forum

    My children stopped talking to me after my wife divorced me in 2003. Which group do I join?
  4. Still.

    My mom passed away 12.12.14. I'm still pissed off, I'm still hurt, I'm still sad. I don't cry like I used to but I do cry. Currently I'm just trying to pick up the pieces. I miss her so very much. Since she passed, I just can't get on track. My life has changed in so many ways, I don't think I'll ever be the same. I do know time is a great healer, I know these things take time. I just had a birthday and I couldn't get into it, nothing seems right. The loss of a mother is so profound, it's true what they say "You only have one mother." I pray all the time now, I ask G-d for strength because I need it. My mother was everything to me, most days I just wished she was around. I just need her advice, her perspective and most importantly her love.
  5. My mother is the strongest, most funniest, most craziest person I know. At one point she stood 230 pounds and didn't mess around. You see my mother is from Jamaica and you can see and hear her coming. Today my mother shrunk down to a whopping 150 pounds if that. She is so quiet and medicated and it is so sad. Now when I see her she is the total opposite of what I remembered. You see my mother is dying of bladder cancer, the doctors gave her 6 months if that. I am pissed off, angry, upset and teary eyed. This past weekend, I had to make the decision to put my mother in hospice care. I don't think I will ever get over the guilt, sadness and pain of making such a decision. Many years ago my mother battled leukemia and won, today not so much. I believe for awhile I've been in denial but today not so much. In the past few days I have lashed out on everyone including my sister, I have told her I will disown her after my mother passes. I am angry. I know that I will lose my lover, my friends and some business due to this process. I am not doing well. I am crying so much, not eating and not sleeping, sometimes I cannot even breathe. Basically right now I hate everything and everyone. I know that I will never be the same, I am sick of people telling me "Be Strong" I can't. I really can't and I want to. Currently I know if I don't get some control I could possibly have a heart-attack that's how much pain I am in. I don't know what to do. I just don't.
  6. A FEW OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS

    Last Sunday I started off the day in a low mood, not helped by my 21 month old thinking it was great fun to get me up at 4.45am! It was a grey winter’s day which mirrored the gloom I was feeling inside. In a chat with my lovely husband I was able to pinpoint my feelings. In a nutshell, I was unhappy with the uncertainty of my future. He told me that he was uncertain about his too and that in fact most people were, so not to worry about it! It reminded me of how I felt when Lily first died. The only thing that we had to look forward to was regular episodes of American Idol and all its drama dotted with breathtaking talent. This insignificant (in the grand scheme of things) television program was something we could look forward to in our immediate future as most of the time we simply could not visualise past the end of the day. The future was a vast black void in front of us without our darling “Lilygirl” as we fondly called her. Last Sunday I was reminded of those initial feelings of grief and I am very sorry for anyone who finds themselves in that place. So I decided to let go of what the future held and we packed up our toddlers, bundling them into the car and with rain pouring down we went on an outing. We headed for the local garden centre, a fifteen minute drive away. When we arrived, lo and behold, the sun started to shine on us again. In the entrance of the garden centre is a beautiful gift shop displaying faux antique goodies, flowery picture frames, pretty wall plaques, colourful pot plant holders and special rustic tins for storing keepsakes. As we headed further into the garden centre we were struck immediately by the powerful and beautiful scent of amber roses and purposeful people busied themselves around us looking for things to beautify their lives and give them the meaning they were seeking. There were goldfish and little bridges over ponds and with each step on these quaint wooded paths, I felt my mood lift and my creativity start to soar. Although I didn’t buy anything, I organised my Christmas shopping list four months ahead of time with all these lovely things that surrounded me. I didn’t need to go searching for my future, it was right there with me and I felt inspiration for my life ahead happen upon me effortlessly instead. I was in my “now” enjoying all the things I love and the future was limitless to me. We then decided to visit the pet shop next door. Puppies were playing, bunnies were hopping and tropical fish were swimming, delighting in their luminosity and agility. My mood was on the up and up and so we set off home. However, there was a detour that forced us to take a different route. We had to go the long way home and ended up stopping off at another seaside town to a beautiful playground where we stood pushing our two beauties on their swings looking out to the vast ocean right in front of us, children laughing and calling “higher!” When we finally got into the car to return home, I was a completely different person with a different outlook on life, on my future and on my present. I had done all my favourite things: I’d unwittingly surrounded myself with beauty, love, fun, playfulness, companionship, freshness and joy and I was feeling much, much better. Grief can make us feel very isolated and so often we would rather just keep to ourselves but sometimes getting out and doing things we used to love, even though they have lost some of that old meaning, can reset our thought processes. The truth is that you are the same person that you ever were under that black cloud we call grief. You have become older and wiser through the process but you are still “you” underneath. If you nurture your ongoing relationship with your loved one in spirit, which is so healing, you can also allow yourself to enjoy the simple things in your present that used to hold so much meaning. Just like Julie Andrews swoons in The Sound of Music, “When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad. I simply remember my favourite things and then I don’t feel so bad.” Lots of love to you. Erica xx "Soothe Your Soul from Grief" by best selling author Erica Farrimond is available for 99 cents. Enjoy. xx http://www.amazon.co...k/dp/B00GG630KE
  7. My little boy Riley still has a nap every day. When he was due to wake up one day recently, my husband, daughter Summer and I went to check on him. We stood there adoring him with his sweet, peaceful, sleeping face. He must have felt our presence because after a few flutters of his eyes, he began to wake up. Feeling inspired, I said to Jason and Summer “He’s awake! Let’s all do a happy dance!” They were keen so together we danced a jig of joy that our little friend was awake and ready to play with broad smiles on our faces and laughter in our hearts. Riley immediately sat bolt upright in bed, himself brimming with happiness, ready for his next adventure with the people he loved whom he knew loved him. I got the strongest feeling while we were doing this that this must be how our loved ones in spirit greet us when we arrive in heaven. It’ll be like waking up from a beautiful dream and finding ourselves in comfortable surroundings with familiar, loving beings delighted to see us. Home.
  8. Working with Children in Grief

    As difficult as the loss of a loved one is on adults, it can be truly devastating to children. If a child is not attended to during the first days of their horrible loss, they may carry scars of trauma for the rest of their lives. So a key note is – early intervention. Adults are often so numb with grief after a loved one dies, they fail to realize that a child in the family is left to cope on his or her own. When a child loses a loved one, especially a parent or a sibling, their world falls apart. They are full of questions, plagued with confusion and guilt. They need your help. For small children, death is not real. If Bugs Bunny gets up every time Wiley Coyote kills him, will grandma get up too? She went to heaven? When is she coming back? Be there for your child and let them ask all the questions that are filling their mind. Be honest in your answers. Death is a real part of life and children eventually need to come to terms with it. Children go through a variation of the same stages of grief as adults. But, some of the stages can last a very long time. If children are not helped to go through stages like denial or guilt, they it have profound effect on their future. Most children believe that it is somehow their fault that their father or mother or grandpa died. If only they were better, or did their homework, or did not make so much noise… It is imperative that adults ensure children that it is in no way their fault that the loved one died. Children grieve in spurts. One moment they are sad and crying, other they are running around, laughing and playing. It is normal. Don’t be fooled into believing that he or she is out of it. Just like for you, it takes time. Give a child some outlets for their grief. Give them some paper and crayons or play dough. Older children might prefer to make a scrapbook of the departed loved one. They also might want to make some kind of memorial. These are all healthy ways for child to express their feelings, and might offer you a way of seeing more of how they feel than the child is able to express in words. Many children regress to their early childhood when they lose a loved one, especially a parent. They start talking like babies, have temper tantrums, wet the bed or demand constant cuddling and carrying. It is OK for a short time. If they do not snap out of it, you will need to seek help. It is very difficult to find the fine line between what is a normal way for children to grieve and when to look for help. The best sign that their grief is overwhelming is the prolonged lack of appetite and lack of energy. If a child refuses to see his or her friends or refuses to go to school for more than a few days, it may be time to consult with a child grief therapist. Sometimes it is enough just to ask for guidance and advice. At times, it is important to bring a child in for a talk with a qualified professional. Most children are resilient and will bounce back if they continue to have good, loving support system despite of losing a loved family member. It might mean that you need to put your grief aside to be there for the child. But, you might find that the questions children ask and the way they talk about the person both of you lost might be very healing for you too.
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