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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

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About Me

Found 5 results

  1. Introduction

    Hello, Everyone. I guess it would be good to introduce myself. My second oldest son, Cameron, died in March 1992 when a dresser in his room fell on top of him. He was supposed to be taking a nap, but apparently he was trying to reach something on top of the dresser. It was the most horrible thing I've ever gone through and the most intense, deep, and long-lasting pain I've ever experienced. My wife and I went from planning for pre-school and day care to planning a funeral, picking a burial plot, and picking a headstone overnight. I would never, ever wish that kind of thing on anyone!! It took a great deal of time and effort to heal. I am not in the process of the raw pain and grief that so many of you are in, but I can honestly say that I have a very good idea of what you are going through. If a person hasn't gone through it, there is no way they can possible understand it. There is simply no reference point you can relate to unless you have been there. Events like his birthday and Christmases and such have gotten a lot easier, but they can still be rather tender when I remember him. He would be 27 years old if he were still alive. I can honestly say that there is never a day that I don't think about him after all these years. I can also honestly say that it took me a long time to work through all of this and now I lead a happy, normal life and that I carry this grief rather than it carry me. It took a lot of time and work to get to that point. I hope that I can be a voice of comfort to those of us whose grief is still raw and very deep and I can offer a perspective that there is hope, even if it seems very dim or even non-existent at this point. I attached a photo taken of Cameron the day before he died. His aunt Crystal and his older brother, Eric, are in the background. I love you, Cam!
  2. We all want the people we love to be remembered forever, and to be shown and shared with the world. Post the pictures of your lost loved ones for everyone to see
  3. Hello, friends! The message you are about to read is going to be kind of depressing, so, y’know, you’ve been warned. On 4 May 2014, I lost a good friend of mine in a car accident. He’s my first friend to die and the only death in my young life I wasn’t prepared for. His death has severely impacted me to the point of me needing psychological help as well as a dog to make sure I get up every morning. Right after he died, I was far away from his friends and family, and even though I was able to visit everyone, I wasn’t able to stick around them and really get in some good conversations and general support while mourning. I felt and still feel completely alone a lot of the time, which is exactly the reason why I’m trying to create a show that deals with death and mourning. I love watching shows. I always have. I love shows so much, I want to write them for a living, and make other people as happy as television shows have made me. I kept thinking after I lost my friend, what would Cory Matthews do (Boy Meets World)? How would Will talk to Uncle Phil about this (Fresh Prince of Bel-Air)? What would Winnie say to Kevin (The Wonder Years)? What would the cartoon version of Lizzie MaGuire say (Lizzie MaGuire)? I had no answers, because these episodes do not exist. I’ve already written the pilot episode for the show I want to make about people grieving, that’s where you come in. I need your help. I need your stories about losing someone you care about. It can literally be anyone: mom, dad, sister, brother, cousin, best friend, child, PETS! You name it! Death affects us all tremendously, and I want to hear your stories! I know my friend’s death will affect me for the rest of my life. The other thing is, is that this show is going to be realistic. Not every episode has a happy ending, because life doesn’t always have happy endings. HERE’S WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR, FRIENDS! If you have struggled with drug addiction, alcoholism, or any kind of substance abuse since your loved one died, message me! LET’S BE ALL INCLUSIVE, YO! I want to write an episode in Spanish (Hablo español, amig@s!), and let’s also keep in mind that different cultures deal with death differently! I WANT TO REPRESENT AS MANY DIFFERENT CULTURES AS POSSIBLE!!! It doesn’t matter if you lost someone six months ago or thirty years ago, message me! I want your stories to be memorable. So this kind of requires you to be a pretty good story teller, and you have to tell me when my writing is nothing like you or you just don’t like it for whatever reason. If you gained stronger faith in your religion, or lost your religion, because of a dead loved one, message me! I wanna read or hear or see your stories. You may message me here or send me an e-mail at budbuland@gmail.com, tell me all about you and your deceased loved one. Writing an episode of a show based on you requires me getting to know you pretty well, so we’ll be e-mailing and probably calling and maybe even Skyping. You helping me to make an episode based on the loss in your life will be upsetting, I promise you. But wouldn’t it help others to have a guide of how to lose someone they love? That’s why I want to make this show. MESSAGE ME! I CAN’T WAIT TO READ ALL YOUR STORIES! Love forever, Bud
  4. Multiple Losses

    I feel like my life is falling apart in front of my eyes and it's tearing me apart with it. My 32-year-old son has had a chronic, terminal illness for 14 years. Most patients don't live that long. He refuses to go to a doctor or have any tests or take any medications. He doesn't trust doctors or the medical profession or pharmaceutical corporations. It's hard for me to know how much longer he has to live. He lives with me and his deterioration is clear. He's an adult so I can't make him do what *I* think is best. I'm a single parent. My ex is a deadbeat loser (a lawyer who could make 10 times what I make, but he prefers to life off women and not work at all) who has not been in contact with his son for years. I am my son's sole support and he treats me like ****. I have to take it because what consequences could I use? I'm not going to kick him out of my home! He needs a warm safe place to sleep and nutritious food. Last May my 89-year-old mother (she was 88 then) got a urinary tract infection that led to hallucinations and sudden onset dementia. She cannot live alone and she has lived with me since then. She has aged a decade in the past year. So have I, it feels like. Early last summer I took all of the hateful things she said to me personally. Now I sort of understand that she doesn't really mean it, but sometimes it still hurts. My 11-year-old dog, who was my constant companion, who went everywhere with me, who slept by my bed every night, got sick at the end of February. I had to make the decision to euthanize her on March 13. I had a vet come to my home so she would be calm and peaceful. She hated the vet's office and it made her extremely anxious. My son (mentioned above) decided that she just had a broken paw and if it was set she would be fine (she was dying and suffering and her paw was fine). He refused to be here and stormed out before the vet came. Four of us were here with her, besides the vet, and we all tried to be strong until it was over. Then we all broke down and bawled like little children. Then it was spring break (I'm a teacher) and I had to go to my mom's house to pack, fix things, and try to get it ready for sale. Hard work for someone with chronic back pain. Now I'm teaching again, every day hoping I won't break down into tears in front of my students. I'm just crying all the time, watching my family die. So many people depend on me and I am stretched too thin. Probably I am just feeling sorry for myself and should just get over it. There wasn't a topic for "pet died, mom and son dying" so I started my own.
  5. Grappling with Grief

    Hello all, It's been a while since I've last posted. I'm seven years in, and yet it still feels like yesterday sometimes. I've come to the realization that this is as good as it gets. 80%. Never again will I know the innocence of love before the death of a child. I thought that after so many years the grief would be less, but it's not really. It still hurts the same, it's just less OFTEN. Less often that I feel the rip roaring pain searing through my chest as it did when my son Taylor first died. But the SADNESS is so overpowering it's tragic. I don't allow myself to wallow in grief as I used to. I've come to realize that in this world of ours, I am not allowed to wallow. I must be strong and keep my chin up, pull myself up from my bootstraps, be strong for my other child, etc. So I hold it all in -- as I imagine most of you who are reading this are doing also. I am able to distract myself from the grief long enough to pull myself away from the empty feelings and the yearnings to hold my young 17 year old son once again. But when I allow myself, my love for him comes flooding back like a river overflowing it's bank. Gosh, the love we have for our children - so unbreakable! I still write on Taylor's website ( http://taylorburgsta....com/About.aspx ) and you'd think that by now I'd be able to just "let it go" as so many people have told me to do. But I can't. I don't dwel; and very seldom does anyone think that I am sad. But I am, so much so that I often find myself pretending that Taylor is still here and sitting beside me as I drive along the highway. My imaginary ife is so much more hopeful and happy than what my life is now. I so wanted to be able to tell others that you really DO get over it. That time DOES heal all wounds, but I'm sorry to say that is just not the reality of our future. It does get better... just not as good as it used to be. I still hold onto hope for the futre... L- http://taylorburgsta....com/About.aspx
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