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Found 6 results

  1. My beautiful cat ❤

    Hi, I just discovered this website. I don't know what I'm really looking for and I don't know how it really works on here but I just need to write it somewhere. Im currently at work, on my lunch break, crying like there's no tomorrow. My mom called me 3 days ago telling me they took an appointment to euthanize my beloved cat. She's my 16 years old cat. I've had her since I was 5 years old, we grew old together and she was always there when no one else was. She wont pee in her litter anymore, she barely eats (she licks it but wont eat it) and she doesnt like going out anymore or sleeping in my bed. Its been like this for quite a while. My dad is in the army and so we moved every 2-3 years. Its hard making new friends and having good people to talk to. She was aways there waiting for me when I came back home, when I had no one to talk to she was just there staring at me (yes I did talk to my cat). When I was feeling sad and cried in my bed, she'd come to me and bite my cheeks to comfort me. She always did that thing. She used to turn on her back which I called it the "Twist and Shout"... anyway... she's schedule for tonight at 6pm and I can't be there with her since im away because of college. I cant stand the fact that I wont be near her on her dying table. Ive never lost anyone in my life before and this is really affecting me. I talked to my entourage and they seem to think that I overreact. For them its "only a cat". They caught me crying and Im pretty sure they think im being childish. I just cant help it. I feel guilty for putting her down and I cant know for sure if its what she really want or if we are selfish for letting her go. Did we try everything? I feel like we didnt... I dont know how I'll take it when she'll really be gone... For anyone who actually read this, thank you. Just writinf it helped a little...
  2. Recently, my 4 year old cat collapsed and had to be rushed to the vet. We were told his lungs were full of fluid and that he almost didn't make it. We have often worried about his heart as when he was a kitten, we were told that having a heart condition would a risk considering his breed and the fact he was the only kitten in a litter. We were allowed to take him home and he's has been coming on leaps and bounds up until now. He became breathless again this morning and I can't help but see that this means he's going to die. This cat has always been really special to me and I always thought it was fate that he came to us (he was born an only kitten just before my 15th birthday). We have such a good bond and I don't think I could ever love another cat as much as him. Im writing this for support as at the moment I don't have a lot of people to turn to. I live with my mum who struggles to cope with things like this after her son and father were diagnosed with cancer months apart. This has had an signification impact on her and as a result she has disconnected her self from the situation. I'm having to deal with the vet calls and organising appointments and I'm really struggling. Currently, my boyfriend, whom I would usually rely on for emotional support, is away on holiday and I don't want to ruin his holiday over " just a cat". i realise that I still have my precious boy but it's hard not knowing if he'll be alright or if this is the end. I dunno where else to turn to for support. Amy
  3. I really need some help from someone. People keep saying its just a cat, but he really wasn't. He was all I had when times were rough. He made me smile when I had no one. He loved me so much and I loved him beyond words. I can't even focus as tears stream down my face as I type this, holding on to the towel that we wrapped his sweet little body in, having trouble letting go. I've become so desperate for answers or even just a little bit of support I turn to this site. On Saturday, May 6, 2017 my precious little boy Tommy died in my arms. He was only 5.5 years old. At age 2, he was diagnosed with anemia and kidney disease, very rare for such a young guy. I spent thousands from my savings to do whatever I could for the little guy, running all these tests, medications, regular check-ups, etc. At 2 years he dropped down to 4 pounds and vets didn't think he would make it, even suggesting I put him down. That wasn't an option for me. With the prednisolone and gentle force feeding, i brought my cat back to normal weight and he was an active little guy again causing mischief and "hunting" his toys all the time. I'd wake up in the middle of the night with his toys all over me and all in his water bowl. He was such a funny guy. So when my vet stopped paying much attention once Tommy started feeling better, I didn't like that so January 2017 I switched to a new vet. The new vet had great ratings online so I trusted it. And I still don't know for sure if he did anything wrong, but my mind keeps wondering. He checked tommy's blood work and it read that he was at stage 3 kidney disease and his anemia was severe. Tommy was also showing signs of cancer. Tommy was now 5 years old. So the vet upped the dose to 2 pills a day to see how he responded. Tommy was fine until one week ago it all changed. He was getting weaker but my other cat had a lump on her stomach so I decided to take her in first last weekend and then Tommy this weekend (splitting up the finances as I couldn't afford it all at once). I wish I didn't do that and the regret is killing me to the point where I can't function anymore. I ended up taking Tommy in this last Friday because he was very weak. Tommy has lost a bit of weight but nothing significant like the first time. Vet noticed he was weak right away and wanted to run another blood test to see where he was at. Right after they took the blood, Tommy could barely move off the vet floor. His whole body and his head just laid flat on the floor with not an ounce of energy. Vet pulled out a new medication and said that this was the final resort. He orally administered Atopica for cats and said that if he responds in a week this could make him live a long life. But it was too late. I took Tommy home and his mouth was still all crusty from the medication, like it was dehydrating him or something. Couldn't swallow properly. He seemed so much weaker than when I took him in that morning. I don't know if it's because they withdrew his last bit of blood that was keeping him alive (being anemic) or it was the new medication or it was simply too late. I gave him as much water as I could to try and help him. Tommy had this obsession with ice cubes. So I took an ice cube and dropped it in his water. He perked up a little bit and slowly walked over to his water bowl to take a drink. My heart broke because he was trying to drink but he just couldn't, he was so weak. Then about 10 minutes later I pulled out treats and he got a little excited and came over. He tried so hard to pick up the treat but he just couldn't. I even broke it in half to help him...he'd pick it up and it'd just fall out of his mouth. I started crying, like I am right now, because it really did break my heart. My fiance and I kept close watch on him Friday night. We let him do all the things he wanted to do. He wanted to step out on the balcony, we let him. He just lied there and smelt the fresh air, then slowly walked in when he was finished. He wanted to walk down the hallway of the apartment, and we let him. We just let him walk, and he walked about 10 meters until he dropped. We pet him slowly and just stayed with him in the hallway. (Tommy loved being in the hallway...when we'd come home he'd be waiting at the door to go there. And once he hit the hallway he sit on the carpeted floor and just purr like crazy. Some days we just him stay out there as long as he wanted, it made him so happy). But that night we noticed Tommy couldn't walk back from his hallway mission. I picked him up and he was like jello, bringing him back inside. My fiance and I were having a personal argument from nights before, so I decided to sleep in the living room and he slept in the bedroom. I regret going to bed so easily that night at 11pm knowing my cat was like this. I should've stayed up with him. That night at 1am I woke up to use the bathroom and Tommy was sitting on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I pet him or not, which also kills me because I really hope I did, and then I left the bathroom, got a bite to eat from the kitchen and fell back asleep. At 8am, my fiance comes running into the living room and yells "Babe! Tommy!". (Our female cat had woken him up when it was happening. That breaks my heart even more because she was attached to the hip with Tommy. They were best friends). I bolted to my bedroom to see Tommy just lying there halfway inside my closet and halfway out. I panicked. I lifted him up pulled him out of the closet to the floor right next to us. As I lifted him, he let out what sounded like the last bit of air in his lungs. I kept saying, "Tommy?? Tommy???" as he was still warm, very jello-like, and his eye were still glossy (no blinking). I called the vet (which wasn't opened yet) and left a voicemail panicking on what to do. I kept telling Tommy how much I loved him, and I thanked him for an amazing 5 years. I sang to him "you are my sunshine" and I just cried and cried and cried like I am right now. The vet called me back and asked him if he was cold, I said no. They asked if he was stiff, I said no. They let me know that "it was happening" and to bring him in for 9am. I kept looking at Tommy's eyes for a little bit of hope. Maybe he'd come back? We only did one day of the new medication and didn't get a chance to see if it would work. I cried for him. I put my left hand gently under his body while he was lying on the floor, almost holding him like he was my baby. I just cried. He started to go cold. My fiance and I said a prayer together for God to take him and keep him for us once we get there. The thought of never seeing my baby again shatters my heart. I really hope there's a kitty heaven. I keep thinking to myself, what if I took Tommy to the vet first instead of my female with the lump. We could've gotten the medication sooner and maybe he'd live a long life with me. The lump turned out to be only a cyst, which I'm thankful for, but it hurt even more knowing that Tommy's condition was much more serious. And I waited. I waited a week. A week that could've save his life. And I keep thinking to myself, why didn't I stay up with him on Friday? I knew he was weak but I didn't think he would go overnight, just like that. I haven't left my living room floor since Saturday. I haven't stopped crying. I eaten maybe 500 calories since then with no appetite. I can't even shower because Tommy why lying in the tub on Friday, the night before he died. I think he liked the cold. Was my apartment too hot for him? All these thoughts keep running through my head. Not many people understand this pain I'm experiencing. They judge. But I loved him so much. I keep thinking I could've done more. Tommy baby, you were my world. I miss you so much. I wish I could hold you in my arms just one more time and listen to those loud purrs of yours. I wish I could watch you "hunt" your toys again and giggle like I used to as you brought them to me. I wish I could wake up again and feel you lying on my chest like I did every morning, with your claws gently pressing into my chest. Now I cry, and I cry, and I cry, because you're not here with me anymore. You left too soon. You only lived 5 years. My baby, I miss you so much. When will this hurting stop? Until we meet again sweetheart. I love you.
  4. I'm going to start off by saying this feels a bit crazy to me, i've never used a forum before, but i really feel like this is the only place i can turn to. Last october i found and collected a kitten that had been on sale from a farm about 40 minutes north of my home, and from the moment i first saw him I fell in love with him. I named him pablo, he was black and white, with jazzy patterns down his front legs. I promised him i'd look after him and love him always. From that moment on, Pablo was my best friend, my little baby cat. He slept on the pillow next to me tucked under my blanket, he sat on my shoulder, he walked in between my legs, i even used to sneak him tiny bits of cake (that was his fave). I'd only ever left him for two nights to go to paris for my 18th, i left him with my mom, she looked after him well and sent me lots of pictures. On wednesday i went away again, this time only to wales for two nights, Pablo was left with my mom again. I had a really great time, but walking back from the train station all i could think about was seeing Pabs again. As soon as i walked through the door my mom told me she wanted a word with me and took me into the lounge. She showed me this little cat, she had been talking about letting me have another one as a companion for pablo when i wasnt there, so i got really excited, until i realised pabs wasnt there. my mom told me that on wednsday night even though all of the windows were locked he'd somehow dissapeared and ran away, so i instantly wanted to look for him. She then changed her story and said that he'd died and council had taken him away and i couldnt see him again. It was all very overwhelming. All i could think of doing was calling my dad, my mom hadnt been making any sense and obviously i wanted to go look for my Pabs. After a few story changes i was finally told the truth (kind of) - My moms boyfried accidently let Pablo out on his way to work eart thursday morning, and he'd been hit by a car on the next street over. she told me the council had taken his body and he was gone, which devistated me, i wanted to give pablo a burrial and say sorry for leaving him, it would have never happened if i hadnt have left him. But driving towards my dad's house there in the middle of the road was pablo. relitivley flat, rotting in the middle of the road. my mother had left my baby to rot in the middle of the road for over a day and a half. honestly i've never been so heartbroken ever in my life, i feel really upset for pabs, nobody even put him out of his pain, they just left him. I collected him and wrapped him in his favorite blanket, and burried him under his favorite bit of grass in the garden. all i can do is cry, and i feel even more bad now as my mom has just tried to replace pabs with this new cat, but muffin will never be able to replace pablo, Pablo got me through some really tough times and was with me at some of my best. I hadn't even known him for a year but i thought we had so many left together. I really do love Pablo with all my heart and i hope wherever his afterlife has taken him he's happy, and he knows i love him so so much and i'll never ever forget him and the impact he's had on my life.
  5. I'm going to start off by saying this feels a bit crazy to me, i've never used a forum before, but i really feel like this is the only place i can turn to. Last october i found and collected a kitten that had been on sale from a farm about 40 minutes north of my home, and from the moment i first saw him I fell in love with him. I named him pablo, he was black and white, with jazzy patterns down his front legs. I promised him i'd look after him and love him always. From that moment on, Pablo was my best friend, my little baby cat. He slept on the pillow next to me tucked under my blanket, he sat on my shoulder, he walked in between my legs, i even used to sneak him tiny bits of cake (that was his fave). I'd only ever left him for two nights to go to paris for my 18th, i left him with my mom, she looked after him well and sent me lots of pictures. On wednesday i went away again, this time only to wales for two nights, Pablo was left with my mom again. I had a really great time, but walking back from the train station all i could think about was seeing Pabs again. As soon as i walked through the door my mom told me she wanted a word with me and took me into the lounge. She showed me this little cat, she had been talking about letting me have another one as a companion for pablo when i wasnt there, so i got really excited, until i realised pabs wasnt there. my mom told me that on wednsday night even though all of the windows were locked he'd somehow dissapeared and ran away, so i instantly wanted to look for him. She then changed her story and said that he'd died and council had taken him away and i couldnt see him again. It was all very overwhelming. All i could think of doing was calling my dad, my mom hadnt been making any sense and obviously i wanted to go look for my Pabs. After a few story changes i was finally told the truth (kind of) - My moms boyfried accidently let Pablo out on his way to work eart thursday morning, and he'd been hit by a car on the next street over. she told me the council had taken his body and he was gone, which devistated me, i wanted to give pablo a burrial and say sorry for leaving him, it would have never happened if i hadnt have left him. But driving towards my dad's house there in the middle of the road was pablo. relitivley flat, rotting in the middle of the road. my mother had left my baby to rot in the middle of the road for over a day and a half. honestly i've never been so heartbroken ever in my life, i feel really upset for pabs, nobody even put him out of his pain, they just left him. I collected him and wrapped him in his favorite blanket, and burried him under his favorite bit of grass in the garden. all i can do is cry, and i feel even more bad now as my mom has just tried to replace pabs with this new cat, but muffin will never be able to replace pablo, Pablo got me through some really tough times and was with me at some of my best. I hadn't even known him for a year but i thought we had so many left together. I really do love Pablo with all my heart and i hope wherever his afterlife has taken him he's happy, and he knows i love him so so much and i'll never ever forget him and the impact he's had on my life.
  6. Lost My Cats to Housefire

    Hi, I'm new here and just joined. The night of December 3rd our car suddenly caught on fire shortly after my husband returned from a work call, and it caught our garage door on fire. The fire quickly spread to the study above it and the basement, igniting an old fuel tank we never used but still had a little fuel in it in the area under the study. It exploded. Needless to say, the study is nothing but a charred mess. The curtains on the windows gone, all my books burnt to a crisp, all my music I stored in there just melted wax. But this room was special, too, as several of my 10 cats loved this room. It was where I kept the kitty furniture. It had large windows and my old daybed, so it was a comfy place to sleep and look out. The fire went from there throughout the rest of the house, mostly in the attic. Much of the furniture in the other rooms are okay but damaged by water and smoke. Firemen ruined several things, there are doors broken down, holes in the walls, etc. It's impossible to live in the house. We had to leave. Until last week we were staying with my parents, which was rough and only heightened my anxiety. I couldn't grieve the way I needed to, and my parents didn't seem to understand. We've been in a rental home now for over a week, and I was doing okay. Some crying here and there - until yesterday. I lost 8 and possibly 10 of my cats to this fire. 8 of them were all found under the couch by firemen, and they brought them out and placed them under our pine tree. My husband buried them the next day in the back yard with the kitties I've lost in the past. I never got to see them - probably a good thing. The other 2, my Tadpole and James, have yet to be found, even though my husband and various other family members have looked in the mess in the house for them. I was sitting in the neighbor's yard and watched the whole thing happen for 3 hours. The fire kept reigniting and was hard to get out. I say possibly, though, because we caught wind that someone (never did find out who) said they saw 2 cats running from the house. My husband and neighbor knocked out some of the windows as fast as they could for the cats, but I'm afraid it didn't help. So on top of the loss of my 8 cats, I've been going back to the property every evening and calling for my cats, searching with a flashlight, walking around in the surrounding area. I've put up posters offering a reward for each cat found. We've had a few people report seeing cats that looked like them in the area, but I myself haven't seen them. We also have some traps out but have only caught the strays that have been there since long before this happened. We continue to feed them though this may be detrimental to catching anything in the trap on the porch near the food. The second night after the fire, while out with a flashlight I saw 2 sets of glowing eyes sitting near each other, and as I called to them, one was coming toward me. I'm almost convinced it was them, but the neighbor's wife came out and called to him - he was in the yard talking to my husband - and this scared them away. I've not had a trace since. Yesterday seemed to be the turning point. I'm starting to lose hope and feel desperate. I'm getting angry. I feel this is an evil game by God, and I'm ready to quit playing. I just want my cats back!! Yesterday morning and afternoon I cried and cried. The rest of the day just felt so down. Same today but not as badly. I really need to talk to someone, but I'm in a rural area. We have no support groups here for pet loss, and I don't think we'd be able to afford going to a counselor. The rental home is costing us so much. I want to take in my sister's cat that she wants to get rid of; and I think another cat to care for would help me, but it would cost $200 to do that here as well as $20 added to the monthly rent. If I were to find one or both of my cats on top of that, it would be outrageous. It just seems everything is against me. Plus I'm just missing the cats I lost so badly. They were my life. My world revolved around them despite having one son. I've lost cats before to illness but have always had my other cats here. Now I have none. It's the first time in 25 years I've not had a cat inside with me to take care of and love.
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