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Found 13 results

  1. I don’t feel any different

    My brother died in a car accident last April and I feel nothing over it. I know I should feel soemthing but I don’t. He was 21. It just feels like he’s gone away or just not around, not that’s hes in the ground. Anybody else had these feelings? Nobody understands it. It makes me angry that I can’t feel anything and I hate myself for it.
  2. Can't get over this

    I live in a small town in Texas called Levelland, about 30 miles from Lubbock. On July 21st of this year my sister and niece left Levelland to drive to Dallas for soccer tournaments in my car(to save gas money). I received a call at work from my mother crying hysterically on the phone a little after 12:30pm, she kept saying my sister and nieces name over and over again. I didn't know what was going on. I hung up and called my sisters phone. My 13 year old niece answered and was crying and scared and didn't know where her mom was. Unfortunately, they were getting out of Sweetwater on I20 when a semi slammed into the back end of the car when they were slowing down due to construction, they crashed into the vehicle in front of them and ended up getting hit by another semi. I was told they were going to be transporting my sister and niece to Abilene Hendrix hospital. You see... Abilene is 3 hours from Levelland. Took us 4 1/2 hours to get there due to traffic. Longest 4 1/2 hours of my life. No answers, no updated information... I just wanted to know that my sister and niece were going to be ok. Later on we knew that my sister was in a induced coma. Brain damaged, skull and spine were dislocated, internal bleeding... I couldn't see my sister like that. My niece on the other hand had a small fracture on her wrist. Some cuts bruising but that was it. There was a angel with her, she said right before the 2nd semi hit that her seat belt popped off and she was thrown in the drivers seat on top of my sister. Throughout the days my sister would make some progress but then get back to square one. On July 27th at 6:00pm, my sister took her last breath. We were being stingy wanting her to be here with us but she would just be a vegetable if they kept her on the machines for the rest of her life... On Aug 1st we laid her to rest. A beautiful funeral with mariachis and rain. We were all soaked but my sister sure did love the rain. I thought it would have been better by now. At least me not crying so much. I burst out in tears so much. My anxiety and depression is out the roof and I just feel nobody understands.
  3. Hello, I lost my 19 year old brother in a tragic car accident going on 4 weeks ago. He went to work that night, came home (he lived with my parents while he was going to school), got changed, gave my parents a big hug, and went to see his friends. He ended up at a party, where a girl he had an on-and-off thing for 2 years was with another guy. He was upset and tried to talk to her, eventually leaving the room she was in. She came downstairs and asked him "What the f*** are you still doing here?" He pounded a drink, grabbed his keys and tried to leave. One of his friends tried to stop him, but when my brother got angry, he got tunnel vision. A quarter mile down the road, he crashed into a huge sycamore tree. The roads were terrible that night, just awful sheets of rain. The road was windy with tight turns. He had his drivers license for less than a year and he wasn't familiar with the roads. His car was my car too, a big 20 year old clunky station wagon. It feels like his fate was sealed when he decided to get into the car, with so much riding against him. My brother was adopted, and came to our family 17 years to the day he died. I am in so much pain but I am trying so hard to keep going. I worry so much for my parents. My dad seems to be doing ok but my mom is in so much pain. I have felt I have gotten signs from my brother. A few nights after he died, I was sitting with my parents and I felt the presence of someone behind me. As I started to cry, my chest got warm and tight. My brother was known for his big, bone-crushing hugs. I haven't felt his physical presence since, but I felt like that hug was him saying goodbye. Thank you so much for listening to my story. My brother meant so much to me and my family. I miss him so much and I look forward to sleep every night because sometimes I see and hear him in my dreams.
  4. Loss of older brother

    I recently lost my oldest brother, 33 to a severe car accident he and his wife of 11 and a half years were in. I received the call that she was in the hospital and that he did not make it. My whole world came crashing down. In an instant everything I loved and held dear to my heart was taken from me. It's been 3 months going on four months and I still wait up for him to come home, I'm still having neightmares of it happening to us again. This pain will never go away, I still hear all these voices in my head "he didn't make it" I had to call my mom and tell her that her baby was gone all I hear everyday "I have to go my son died". There is no reason this accident should have happened there was no traffic, it wasn't raining. The only cause is reckless driving. The man who hit them was late to work, he was speeding. He put his life before my brothers life. He took him away from me, my family, his wife, my 5 year old niece. He was her god father , he was suppose to take care of her. How is any of this fair? What did we do to deserve this? He was as close as it comes to being perfect. He always put others before himself, always so kind, giving, thoughtful and always laughing, smiling and jokeing around. He always did everything for us, he was the older brother aka the other dad, there were four of us kids, he always took care of us even when he didn't have to. His response was always the same when he did something for us "it's because I want to" I'll never get over all the hurt, sadness, anger, anxiety. Everything was so traumatic, it still is to this day. My life has forever been ruined. This man who hit him is out there, he's on the road who's to say he won't do this again? Why is he allowed to live, come home to his family? His complete family. I never got to say good bye, hug him, or tell him how much I love him and how much he means to me. The day he ended my brothers life he ended mine.
  5. Grieving wife

    On march 6th at about 8:30am my husband was hit by a semi truck and died instantly. I'm struggling to find ways to get through the day. Every minute I think about him and the day he died and how he died my soul hurts. He was my everything,my life,my world,and I'm really struggling with this. I need someone who has been through this to guide me and tell me that this some how gets better.
  6. I lost my younger brother on 6 /11/2016 in a car accident. He was at the back seat with mom and dad. We had private security guards in front seat and driver was driving. Several cars hit each other on highway and my brother passed away on the spot. Nothing happened to anyone except for him. The LCD tv in the car hit his forehead and he was gone. He was 6 ft tall and very strong built guy. Nothing could have killed him so easily. He died bleeding in my mom's lap . She kept screaming but he was brought dead to hospital. When I reached to the hospital I saw him in mortuary . I felt like I will die too. I had to hide this news from my parents so I can get there treatment done from the hospital. Luckily they had just minor injuries. But my only brother was gone. Our family is broken and shattered. Nothing can replace him. I have not slept since then. My brother was everything I had . He was 26 . Just got engaged. I wish I could trade places with him as my parents loved him so much. He was only one they ever wanted. I try my level best and be strong and ask them not to cry . But nothing ever changes. I miss him so much that sometimes I feel that we all should have died in that crash. Life is meaningless without him. I feel devastated! I don't think I will be able to make it for long time. I am scared. I feel I will be alone one day. My bro is gone ,leaving his sister all by herself! It hurts so much and I can not see my parents like this. Sometimes I feel he is sitting next to me. He does not talk to me in dreams. I keep wishing to see him once. Just wanna ask if he will ever come back? I miss him every day.
  7. On October 20 at 12:30 pm my sister was in an accident. She was killed on impact and my 3 year old nephew was lucky he came out of the wreck with two broken legs. I have the feeling that she would still be here if it was not for me. She came to my house to drop off some money (I worked for as a full time babysitter) and if she had never came here that day she would still be here. we went out to eat and after that she dropped me back at my house and die about 10 minutes later. No one understands this in my family they just keep saying that if she was meant to die than she would had either way but it is hard to believe. She was a such a nice person who would help anyone no matter what. There were many times that she would see someone on the Yard Sale sites on Facebook asking for help with food and she would give them food from her own freezer. She was the type of person that was there for everybody no matter what and because of car accident she is gone. She will never see her three boys grow up, she will never be able to see our grandmother walk again, or she will not be able to see our two nephews born. Is there a reason for all this? Is this some lesson to be learned?
  8. My story of losing my soul mate

    First the story of our love: My love and I met over 10 years ago when he hired me to help him run his retail store. I instantly thought he was attractive, but I was in a committed relationship and he was married. He chose me to be his assistant manager when we moved locations and I was allowed to get just a little closer to him. At the end of our run at that location, after the store closed down, I had lost all contact with him. He saw something in me that no one else did, he took a chance on me.. Fast forward 8 1/2 years. I had gotten out of the relationship I was in (it turned out VERY BADLY). I was going to attend our mutual friends commitment ceremony. I got "dressed up" and went to the ceremony. Shortly after I was there, my love walked in. We were both all smiles, and made small talk to try to catch up with each other. I followed him around like a puppy dog the whole night. Our friends had convinced us to swap numbers at the end of the night. That was the start of it, we were inseparable. We had found the other half to our whole. We were working toward our life together. Fast forward a year, a week, and 4 days. My love was on his way back to the office from a delivery and was 2 blocks away from our home. He went to change lanes on our little country highway, was clipped by a truck, which sent him into oncoming traffic. He was hit by another driver doing 60-65 miles an hour. We were told he died instantly. He passed away at 7:02 pm. We were not notified for several hours. The hours inbetween: At around 6:45 I looked at my phone and thought "Hmm hadn't heard from him a bit, I should check in" I messaged him, and facebook messaged him, nothing. I called him, it rang and rang and rang. I could hear the sirens and see the back up from the accident out our bedroom window. It couldn't be him.. around 7:30 I told his mom that there had to be something wrong.. I couldn't get a hold of him. We called the police department for the small town adjacent to us (he was coming from there) to see if we could find out if he was in the accident. They could not release the info to us yet. I called every hospital that I knew of. He wasn't there. I called his work, maybe he was at the shop and he wasn't paying attention to his phone. "He left here at 6:45 and hasnt returned", it was nearly 8 pm. Called a police station, thinking maybe, hopefully he had gotten pulled over and he was ok. He wasn't there either. Panic seriously set in. 10:30 pm, I look out our bedroom window and see two state troopers pulling up our street, shining flashlights at the mail boxes. I knew it was him... I hoped for a split second that he was in the car. When the pulled up to the house the state trooper asked if we knew him.. And that is when she told us that he was in a accident and he did not make it.. Since then my life has been upside down. His mother and I planned the funeral and laid him to rest on the 19th of November. He was only 40. We had so many more years that we should have spent together.
  9. So I lost both of my parents in a car crash. I was very close to both of them - some might say too close - but I considered them to be some of my best friends as well. The enormity of this loss is actually inexplicable. It has been just over a year and a half, and while I have very loving family, partner, friends, etc i still feel very alone. I'm functioning quite well, but go in and out of pretty dark moods and sadness. And am very quick to be angry (misdirected) and am hyper critical. I'm trying to give these feelings the space they need, but I'm also afraid of grief taking too big of a chunk of my day to day life. And i don't necessarily trust my feelings or judgement about other things because it all feels clouded by grief. And I find it hard to separate the loss - everything is Mom&Dad tied together ... It's like they are a unit and I cant pull them apart to experience the loss of each one of them as separate individuals. It's really weird. And just hard hard hard. I don't know. Anyway there is so much to say.
  10. Just over six months ago, I lost my Mom in a car accident. Getting the news from my brother was by far the worst thing I have ever had to go through, but what made it worse was that she was on her way home from dropping me off from my Grandmother's funeral. I lost two of the most important people in my life in the matter of a week. I sometimes chuckle to myself when thinking about it, because it's crazy. These things don't actually happen to people. My Mom was incredible. She was smart and strong. She was a single mother who raise my brother and I without any help from family or my father. She would often skip meals when we were young so that we were fed. She sacrificed so much for us, and did so happily. But, she also gave to the people in her life. She often baked and visited with friends and family that were sick or going through a hard time. She always kept busy; rarely taking a moment for herself. When I think about the day she died, I can't help but think I had something to do with it. I knew she was tired, but I wanted to go home. I just keep thinking, if only I had taken the drive back with my aunt, or we stopped for a cup of coffee like we usually did, or if I had been ready on time, would she still be alive? I realize thesis irrational, but I can't move passed this guilt. Further to that, it took the police 13 hours to get in contact with my brother. And I just think, why didn't I call to make sure she was home safe, when she didn't call me?!? They told us she died instantly, but I can't help but think how scared she must have been in the moment before she died. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night from dreams of her panicking right before her car hit the truck. My whole life has changed since then. I'm trying to finish up my degree and move on so I'm no longer surrounded by everything that reminds me of her. I talk about her rarely to my friends and family, because I don't want them to feel awkward or get sick of me talking about her. I told her everything, and now I have no one. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I was in that car with her, or instead of her. I stay alive so that my stepdad and brother don't have to deal with the added pain of losing me too. Everyone tells me how strong I am, because I've continued my studies and I put on a brave smile everyday for class. And when I tell them I'm not that strong, they think I'm joking. I'm finding it harder and harder to keep strong. I'm finding it harder to convince myself that my brother and stepdad need me. I just want to hear her laugh once more, or to hug her. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired. I'm tired of being strong all the time. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep.
  11. Hi In 2006 I was 13 years old, my Mum was 9 and a half months pregnant they were going to induce the baby the next day, however she went to go pick my little brother from school. On their way back they had to cross the road next to my house to get home but they got hit by a car. So I lost my Mum my little brother and my baby brother it was a terrible time. Since then I have received a great deal of help from fantastic charities it really helped to talk to people even though it took a while for me to figure that out. After all of this help I really do feel a lot better about everything but there has always been one thing that really bothered me. I'm sure that we all at some stage of the grieving process feel alone but I've always felt like nobody can understand what I have been through with losing so many loved ones in one day. So I was wondering if there is anyone who understands? Please get in touch it would really be great just to know that somebody out there can relate to what I've been through. Thanks
  12. I'm a 25 yr old male, I just lost both my parents in an accident. I've been secretly struggling with my sexuality for a long time. A day before the accident, I'd arranged for sex with another male. I got the news of the accident before we were going to sleep together. This seemed too peculiar to be just a co-incidence, and I feel a deep sense of guilt because it seems to me that this happened so that I could be punished for my deed. I've a sister, but I'm not close with her. I feel totally alone and lost, and am on the verge of harming myself. The worst part is, I can't even share these feelings with anyone. I'd be very glad, if someone here could advise me.
  13. I'm relieved to find a site like this.... On November 1, 2012, my fiance Lee was killed in a car accident while we were on our way home. Long story short, I'm an instructor and trainer at a gym in my area and we were leaving the gym together, only I was 30 seconds in front of him driving. We were on the phone, I was using my Bluetooth and he had me on speaker (volume was messed up and we couldn't pair his bluetooth with his phone). Long story short, 10 minutes from our house he started saying, "This truck is stomping, this truck is stomping.....hold on a second..." The next thing I knew, I hear gears shifting hard and fast and then a loud bang, followed by a bunch of noise. I started screaming for his name....I heard him take 2 breaths and then nothing....then I hear people's voices near the phone and I turned the van around and drove back and saw his car smashed against a utility pole that had snapped in half. I went into shock, chaos erupted, EMT showed up in less than 5 minutes...my BF and her husband sped me to the hospital where I met his family, and the doctor said he was gone....no heartbeat at the scene, immediate CPR.....police are still investigating....something doesn't add up My world just buckled beneath me, along with my knees. I'm in therapy now, I can't get that scene out of my head, I can't believe he is gone. I haven't been back to work. He was the best thing that ever happened to me after my failed marriage...he was so giving, made me feel like I was the most beautiful girl in the world, treated me and my 4 kids like gold (two have autism), made breakfast for us everyday, I came home often times to candlelit dinners....countless people at the gym have told me that when he looked at me each time, it was like he was looking at me for the first time......constant flirting, passion, we had fun together, my ex-husband even ran to the hospital hysterical after my BF's husband told him what was happening......ex-husband actually started declaring right there at the hospital to everyone "He was the best father to my children" which says a lot... I miss him.....I hate this....he is gone.....the sadness is so suffocating.....I can't stop crying....I miss my soulmate......