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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

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  1. On May 14th 2003 I lost my 19yr old brother due to a vehicular accident. I was 12yrs old at the time... I was the one who answered the phone call. His car was hit by a drunk driver around 9am. It's been 10years... He now lives with us, bedridden, due to the brain damage he suffered. When he got out of the coma years ago, there was still some hope that he might come back to us... But unfortunately no. He cannot walk or talk or do anything on his own... He understands what we say and can nod his head yes or no to answer. I learned to focus on my life for a while.. get myself in medicine like I always dreamed of as a child... But I left it after 1yr. I don't know how to deal with the depression anymore. I feel so alone and lost without him. I dont talk to my parents about it because I have always been their strength. I tried talking to a psychologist for a little time but i gave up on it. I just feel so lost, alone, and depressed all the time. I want to do so much with my life... Accept that i have a chance to be more, but at the same time, I dont know how to motivate myself anymore.. I feel suicidal all the time but i would never do it... I understand right and wrong and i know it would be wrong and selfish of me to leave him and my parents... I need help, but dont know how to ask for it.. or how to admit I'm really weak... It hurts so much more to see him everyday like this... I just cant see him suffer and try to have a good life he never got to have... Please... I just dont know what to do anymore...