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two months ago the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone, happened. I went in to have my little 6 ib 9 ounce baby girl, only to find out that she was born sleeping. She became an angel all to quickly. They gave her 3 hours to live, but she only lived for an hour and a half, and i held onto her so tightly the entire time. I gave her kiss after kiss and held her little hand in mine. I told her how much i loved her, and how i would never ever forget her. And i wont... I told her it wasn't goodbye, it was see you later. And that's honestly whats kind of been helping me cope, but i still cry myself to sleep almost every night. Ive never been more depressed in my life. And it sucks that my child, or anyone else's, has to pass away like that, or to pass away at all. I'm over being depressed.... I jjust feel like i cant do anything right any more and i just really need someone to talk to that understands.
I was thinking earlier today that I wanted to start a conversation on here about websites and/or blogs that anyone else has found helpful? I use my personal blog as kind of a journal for myself, and hope that other grieving mama's find it helpful in some way, does anyone else have a blog? If not I highly recommend starting one, it's a great way to share your story and is really a great outlet for when your mind gets going at warp speed and you just need to let it out. I've also found other websites, this one included that have been helpful. Another one is stillstandingmag.com and there's also a group on Facebook for bereaved mothers (and also named "Bereaved Mothers.") A couple other Facebook pages that I spend a large chunk of time on are "Grief the Unspoken" (https://www.facebook.com/grieftheunspoken) and "Angie Cartwright," (https://www.facebook.com/AngieCartwrightGrief) Angie is actually amazing if you read her posts and her blog, very insightful, she's holding a live event in December called "Freedom to Grieve.: I highly recommend her page also. Does anyone else have any websites or books that they have found helpful? Oh, and speaking of books, I read Heaven Is For Real the day after Khyri's funeral and it is honestly the only thing that got me through the few days right after the funeral, an amazing read, renewed the faith in God that I thought I had completely lost...I still struggle with it some days, since I still don't have answers and I don't understand why my baby was taken from me, but that book brought me back from giving up on God completely.