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Found 5 results

  1. Hi All, I just registered today and am in need of some advice. My aunt lost her husband last July in a car accident. Our family was devasted by the loss, but none more-so than her of course. She handled it surprisingly well for the first few months, but now that things have all but settled down she's really struggling and shes been drinking heavily, spending excess amounts of money... My mother moved in with her to be there for support, but my aunt spends her days berating my mother and treating her terribly, then turning around and acting overly nice to her. Our family has a hard time being at her house now because it gets uncomfortable listening to her yell at my mother over little things. My aunt was never like this prior to losing her husband, and our family doesn't know how what to do. She thinks no one can help her and that no one cares. Does anyone have any advice on how we can support her? We don't want her to hurt herself but it seems to be inevitable right now. We're all lost and unsure about how to act with her. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
  2. I lost my baby boy, who was technically a young man, being 20 years old, just over s week ago. He found himself a heroin addict at the age of 17, and despite all his father and my attempts to help him, he ended up being sentenced to 2 years in federal prison for distribution and gun charges. This really extended his life though at the time I hoped it was 'saving ' it. Let me go back and mention that my son was truly an amazing person. He was handsome, funny, extremely smart, testing at a 227 IQ level, and he had the most loving and generous hearts of anyone I so far have ever known. He truly had it all going for him. Most mothers and sons have a special bond, but you'll have to take my word for it when I tell you our bond and relationship was beautiful. He never got to old to lay his head in my lap and let me 'pet' his hair when he needed a little extra loving and took pride in bragging to his friends that I was his best friend, and when most boys his age would be embarrassed to admit that. He was released from prison just over 3 months ago and we let him move back in, naturally while he got on his feet. We were so proud of how well he was doing, as he almost immediately landed a full time job, had passed ever last random drug test his parole officer ordered him to, was working out and had and over all positive attitude about the great future he would have. Before he was sent to prison, his dad and I worried daily that he would lose his life to either overdose or at his own hands because his depression was severe. And even though we were apprehensively optimistic about him maintaining sobriety, the thought of losing him to his addiction was not currently a concern. It came as a great shock to us to discover that he had relapsed and overdosed last Monday. The detective eased my fears that it was intentional because there was still left over heroin, and those deciding on an intentional overdose always use it all, so they don't take any chances of being unsuccessful. They also told us they only found one other track mark, which was old and fading and that they didn't believe he had relapsed more than a couple of times, which is what ultimately led to his death. As what is probably common knowledge, the danger of overdose is highest for a newly relapsed addict because they often revert to the dosage they were last at, overwhelming their bodies because their tolerance has gone way down during sobriety. In either case, his passing was a great shock and I'm amazed I've made it this far. One of the hardest things I'm dealing with is the insomnia, mostly because of the side affects of that are only adding to the grief I'm already trying to cope with. Unfortunately, it is not your average sort of insomnia, which I have some experience with having encountered it twice before, both times in varying severity and length. I know all the tricks of reducing the severity and maintaining some level of control over it. What I have no experience with is dealing with or controlling the gruesome images that assault me, just as I'm finally succumbing to unconsciousness, and preventing me from almost going without sleep completely. You see, I was the one who discovered my sons body. Preliminary testing put his death at approximately six hours prior to my discovery and most people know that the longer time that has passed, the worse the condition of the body. I will spare the details obviously but take my word that no mother should ever have to live with those images of their child. WHAT DO I DO?? At this point I have only managed about 4 hours of sleep total in the last 72 hours. I was forced to take the day off of work because the sleep deprivation is so bad right now I can't even think straight let alone safely drive or competently put in a days work. I only recently got back to work a couple days ago, feeling that keeping myself busy was healthier than sitting at home feeling sorry for myself. I know I am not strong enough to cope with this on top of the unbelievable pain I am already suffering. Any advice, miracles, etc. would be greatly appreciated
  3. HELLO, I AM SEARCHING FOR ADVICE OR HELP IN MY SITUATION THAT I AM IN… IF ANYONE COULD OR WOULD OFFER THEIR THOUGHTS THAT WOULD BE GREAT OF YOU, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH IN ADVANCE. WE HAD A HORRIBLE TERRIBLE LOSS IN OUR FAMILY (WE ARE A SAME-SEX-COUPLE) AND WE HAVE LOST HIM TO THE ANGELS ABOVE AND HE IS NOW WATCHING OVER US AND SHINING BRIGHT DOWN ON US EVERY DAY, HE WAS HURTING ON EARTH TO MUCH HE THOUGHT AND HE TOOK HIMSELF OUT OF OUR WORLD DOWN HERE ON EARTH AND HE WANTED TO GO FLY HIGH WITH THE ANGELS AND LAY DOWN ON THE CLOUDS ABOVE, HE IS MY LOVE OF MY LIFE, MY EVERYTHING IT IS SO VERY HARD TO GET THRU EVERY DAY WITHOUT HIM HERE WITH US, AS WE DID EVERYTHING TOGETHER, WE WERE TOGETHER FOR OVER 13 YEARS, AND I THOUGHT WE HAD AN AMAZING LIFE TOGETHER AS WE JUST ADOPTED TWO CHILDREN AND BOUGHT A NEW HOUSE AND WERE GETTING SETTLED IN THE HOME WHEN THIS HAPPENED, AND NOW IT IS SO HARD EVERY DAY, NOT ONLY FOR MY, FOR THE KIDS ALSO, THE MOST HORRIABLE THING IS OUR YOUNGEST SEEN “ “ EVERYTHING “ “ SO IT REALLY BOTHERS HER ALLOT, AND WITH OUR OTHER DAUGHTER SHE WAS AT A DANCE CLASS, WHEN IT HAPPEND, AND IT BOTHERS HER ALSO JUST NOT IN THE SAME WAYS AS THE OTHER. AND WITH MYSELF- I TRIED MY HARDEST MY HARDEST I TRIED SO HARD TO HELP HIM DOWN AND I COULD NOT DO IT, I TRIED, AND TRIED, AND WHEN I FINALLY GOT HIM DOWN IT WAS TO LATE, AS WHEN HE DID IT I WAS DROPPING THE OLDEST OFF AT HER DANCE CLASS - WAS GONE FOR NO LONGER THAN 40 MINUTES. AND WHEN I GOT HOME I COULD NOT FIND HIM ANYWHERE, AND THEN I FOUND A NOTE THEN I STARTED SEARCHING AND FOUND HIM IN THE GARAGE, IT WAS AND IS THE MOST HORRIABLE THING I HAVE EVER IN MY LIFE SEEN AND CAN NOT IMANGE THIS ON ANYONE AND I WISH I WOULD HAVE KNOWN ANYTHING I WISH I DID, I WOULD HAVE HELPED AS I LOVED HIM WITH AND STILL LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART AND MY EVERYTHING, HE WAS AND IS MY EVERYTHING, AND NOW IT IS JUST SO SO SO HARD TO BE IN THE HOUSE THAT WE SHARED TOGETHER, DRIVE THE CAR WE SHARED, DO ANYTHING ON MY OWN ETC… MY QUESTIONS I NEED ADVICE ON ARE; SHOULD I MOVE AND START OVER? SHOULD I GET NEW STUFF AROUND THE HOUSE? GET RID OF THE OLDER STUFF AND GET NEW STUFF (FURNITURE, CAR, ETC.) WHAT CAN I DO TO HAVE THESE FLASHBACKS GO AWAY? HOW CAN I COMFORT THESE AMAZING KIDS THRU THIS IN THIS HOUSE IF WE STAY HERE(AS MY YOUNGEST WILL NOT GO IN OUR BACK YARD AT ALL OR NEAR THE GARAGE AS I DONT BLAME HER AND I DONT WHAT SO EVER FORCE HER TO DO IT EITHER) HOW CAN I HELP THEM FEEL BETTER TO GET THRU THIS? NOW MY THOUGHTS; I THINK I SHOULD MOVE. START OVER FRESH, AND GET NEW STUFF AND HAVE NEW SURROUNDINGS AND OF COURSE HAVE PICTURES AND MEMORIES OF OUR FAMILY TOGETHER BUT BEING SOMEWHERE NEW I THINK WOULD HELP COPE WITH THINGS AND GET US MOVING AND STAY POSITIVE THOUGHTS GOING. WHAT DO YOU THINK? ANY THOUGHTS? AND ANY ADVICE WOULD BE HUGELY APPRECIATED I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO GET ADVICE ON THIS FROM SOME OTHERS AND SEE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO HANDLE THE SITUATIONS I AM IN…. please any advice would help and thank you much in advance i do say again,. RIP MY LOVE, YOU WILL BE FOREVER MISSED AND ALWAYS N’ FOREVER LOVED. ~FLY HIGH ABOVE AND REST WELL MY AMAZING EVERYTHING, PLEASE WATCH OVER US DOWN HERE ON EARTH AND GUIDE US INTO THE RIGHT WAYS OF LIFE PLEASE, OUR GIRLS LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND STARS N BACK AND TO THE MOON AGAIN, AND THEY MISS YOU AND TALK ABOUT YOU EVERY DAY MY BABY, FOREVER LOVING YOU!!!!
  4. Loss Of My Big Brother

    I lost my 24 yr old Brother on 2-23-14 to suicide and I am having the hardest time accepting this I can barely function the pain is almost unbearable! I have so many questions that can never be answered. I can't sleep I have been told that every night I cry and scream for him but in the morning I don't remember...I really need help and advice please??
  5. It's been over a year since my father died of pancreatic cancer and my mother is ready to start dating again. I've actually been hoping she would date again because she's living alone, as my brother and I are in our early twenties. While I'm glad she's dating again, I do not know how to breach certain topics with her, as we have never been particularly close--my father and I were close while she and my brother were close. We've always been a family who shields our emotions and don't talk about our personal lives. I have the following two concerns which I do not know how or if I should voice to her: 1) I don't mind her dating, but I also don't want to hear about her barring experiences. It's a little bit TMI for me as well as too much of my mothering her. When I come home to visit, all she cares about is going to the bars--which is fine--but I'm not a fan of her coming back at 2 am in the morning, drunk, and then waking me up to talk about it. I understand she wants to have fun and she should--but she's acting like a reckless teenager while I'm cleaning up after her 2) I don't want to meet these new guys unless she's serious about them. My mother has been with my father since she was 17--he was her first and only boyfriend. I know that she's not really in tune with dating and I expect it will take her a while to find the "right" guy, especially when she's meeting them in bars. In the meantime, I don't really want to meet every guy she dates on the few days I can return for visits. I don't want to be unsupportive but every guy has a different dynamic in what he thinks his role with me (as his girlfriend's kid) should be. 3) I know this may be a little too far in the future--I may be worrying for nothing--but how do you tell your parent when the new guy is acting like he's your father and you don't find it acceptable? I've noticed that a lot of family friends have been trying to step in as my new "father figure" and in a lot of cases, I personally feel they are overstepping boundaries. I know it's all good-natured and well-intended, but it bothers me that people are trying to tell me what to do and/or making demands of me. I'm a pretty good kid, with a 4.0 GPA, full scholarship, and graduating from college in 3 years with a double major--despite my father's cancer being during my senior year of high school until junior year of college. I'm not trying to be disrespectful. I just think I'm too old to have people--especially any of my mother's suitors--trying to condescend to me and become my new father. I don't want to be a b***** and say that they're not a part of my family, but I don't want or need a new father figure and I feel too old to be treated like I'm a child whom can be condescended to as a child. My brother feels the same way. How do I mention this without seeming unsupportive? I want my mom to be happy with a new guy but I don't want him thinking he can simply replace my father.
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