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Found 10 results

  1. On Sunday, December 10th I lost my dad suddenly to a heart attack. He was diagnosed with Phenomena earlier in the week and his symptoms increased throughout the week. My stepmom told me that she wanted to get him more help but he didn’t want to...She said that he was scared. On sunday morning, it seemed like he was getting better. Laughing at the table with my step mom eating breakfast and then out of nowhere, he begins to become short of breath. He couldn’t calm down, his face was turning blue...My step mom thought he was having a panic attack which was common for him but it never stopped. She called 911 but when they got there he had no pulse. They hooked him up to machine for 20 minutes but his heart never started and they declared him dead. He was having a heart attack. They later found out from the autopsy that he was having heart problems long before sunday but no one near about them. How?! He was having symptoms for it and the doctors never thought to check his heart. This could have all been prevented. I’ve been through the crying, the talking about it, hugs, everything basically. It’s been 5 days and i’m struggling with the idea of never seeing him again. I’m used to not seeing him because i’m at college for my freshmen year and before that i only saw him on tuesday’s and every other weekend. but now there will never be a next time. the funeral is on wednesday. i see him on monday for the first time. i know that i am going to lose it. i’ve never bad anyone i love die and have never been to a funeral. i don’t know what i feel anymore. he was my best friend, he got me, more than anyone. he was only 54. i’m looking through the pictures and remembering the memories and it’s almost too hard to look. I feel empty. my step mom is broken. I fear that i’ll never be able to take care of her like he did.
  2. Hi, I'm a visual communication student in my final year of university. I'm currently trying to gather information and opinions on the topic of grief; something I have felt myself, I lost my mother at the age of 12 to terminal cancer. For my final major project I want to explore a visual representation of the inner feelings of grief. I'm at the start of research which is why I seek your help! please fill in my survey any help would be extremely appreciated. I'm hoping to create a small illustrated/collage/photography book to support people grieving because I think there isn't any books out their to help us visually in a creative way. I myself being a creative person I struggled to get support from books provided to me at my time of loss. Thank you very much! https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/Z5CHB6L
  3. Hello all, My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer that is incurable, but the DR. said that they are going to run cemo on it and try to put it in remission. My dad has lost a lot of weight, and looks sickly. I'm super devastated im sitting here in work feeling sick myself with sadness and grief and I cant concentrate at work, I feel zoned out, when people talk to me I get angry, and I just feel like I am on the verge of crying every hour. I started listening to a book on grief just preparing myself for what might become. I know people might think that is pessimistic, but I have my mother to worry about they have been married for years and years, and I know that eventually I will be okay it will be a long drawn out processes that will forever change my life for the worse. I'm just worried about my mom and what might happen to her the eventuality that my dad does pass away, because my mom has lost both her parents just recently and now her husband has cancer. They had plans when they got old to drive around the country in a RV and that's all I can think about, and it hurts me more knowing they might not have that. What do I do?!! Has anyone ever been in this situation? I'm 27 and male, I have a strong bond with my mother and me and my dad we see each other everyday because we all live in the same house.
  4. Hello, this is my first post here ( but I have posted on other forums before) . About 18 months ago, I found out my Dad had a rare form of Lukaemia ( 1 case every 4 years). He spent his first week in hospital in ICU. The consultant didn't think he'd survive the first night. But he did,...he was then moved to the cancer ward and has treatment for nearly 6 months ( give or take a week or two). He was given the all clear and was allowed home. A few weeks later, they found that the cancer had hidden at the base of the skull, and they started treatment again. He was given the all clear again, but then we were given the news. The cancer had hidden again, but there was nothing they could do. We spent the last few days of him at home by going on trips to make memories. He was admitted to hospital 4 days before he died. I spent my birthday sitting beside him on his bed. My whole family came up and we all celebrated it in the room. He died 2 days later, on the 27th of April. I remember being told to leave the room and then the nurse coming to me outside. Telling me he passed. I felt numb. That's the best way to describe it. Since then, I feel like life is pointless. I can't cry, even if I want to...my body won't let me. I hide all my emotions, because I don't want to worry other people, or annoy them. I have been to 5 therapy sessions,over the year, and I hated every single minute of it. Every night, I lie awake in bed. It's like there's a war going on in my head...between the thoughts that tell me I'd be better of dead. That my family would be better off without me here. And the one thought that says I have loads to live for. If you were to ask anybody, they would say I'm doing well. I'm not. I'm far from well. I hide it all from everyone. It's only when I go to bed at night I listen to the thoughts...but there always there. I feel alone. I want to lie in bed all day, but I force myself to get up and go to school. I used to be smart. But now I'm not able to do much work without getting frustrated and end up getting bad grades. I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any ideas what I should do next?? I know I need help. But I'm afraid to tell anyone. I don't think I know anyone I trust enough to tell them. I just realised ho much I rambled on there...sorry. Any replies are much appreciated, Jack
  5. When a loved one passes on, we typically find comfort in the arms of family and friends, in support groups, through grief counseling, and in our place of worship. But what happens when our broken heart needs something deeper and more profound than those kind words and a sympathetic ear? What if we yearn for a greater sense of certainty—that our loved one really is free of pain, and actually at peace in that better place? Evidential Mediums—blessed with the ability to form a connection with those who have passed on, offer a solution that many are now turning to. During a session with an Evidential Medium, departed loved ones are given a channel by which to come back—in spirit. Through the medium, they share evidence that validates their presence, and give examples of how they are still present in our lives. They share personal messages that would otherwise never be heard. Most Evidential Mediums consider this work a divine calling—a sacred gift—to be able to offer relief to those who have lost someone dear: a parent, spouse, friend or even a child. The following transcript comes from an actual mediumship session. The image of a young boy appears out of the darkness behind my closed eyes; faint and delicate—like the residue of a dream. I speak into the phone that is held close to my ear and describe what is unfolding before me. “I see a boy wearing a baseball cap, running barefoot across a large, grassy lawn. He is happy and energetic, and I sense his love of baseball. Do you recognize this boy?” “Yes,” the voice on the phone replies. “I know who you are talking about.” The scene changes abruptly. “There is a white farmhouse,” I say, “with a large, covered porch, and steps that go right down into the grass.” “Yes, that’s right,” the voice says. “That was his house.” “There is a woman running out of the house,” I continue, “down the steps and across the lawn. She is screaming out in horror, but I can’t hear her voice. I feel her panic in my body though; something bad has happened.” Why is she running? I ask myself—feeling deeper for the answer. I see the boy again. He is no longer running, but standing in the grass, looking back at me. His hands are at his throat—then he lowers them slowly to his chest. A realization hits me—hard. I struggle to breathe—overcome by a feeling of sadness. “This boy died,” I say. There is a pause on the line, then, “Yes.” “He was young, only eight years old,” I say. “There was an accident.” “Yes, that’s correct.” I feel the emotions coming through the phone, but the grief is faded and distant—not what I expect. An inner knowing feeds me the answer. “But he didn’t die recently,” I say. “It has been a while.” “Yes,” the voice confirms. “A while.” I don’t ask for more. I know that it is my job to provide him with the evidence, not the other way around. I focus again on the boy, and ask him how he died. He doesn’t show me, exactly, but his hands return to his throat. I feel pressure in my own throat and down into my chest. I hear “water,” and then I know. “He drowned,” I say. “Yes.” “The woman running from the house—that was his mother,” I add. “She was trying to save him, but it was too late, right?” “Yes.” The confirmations coming through the phone make it clear that the evidence I’m receiving is valid. I am connecting with a young boy who loved baseball, and who had drowned accidentally at the age of eight. And his passing was not recent. But my session with the man on the phone is not complete. I have solid evidence, but I know that this boy is not appearing before me only to provide proof of his presence, or to rehash the final, tragic moments of his young life. No, he has come forth to share a message to his family, and that is where my focus goes. Now, instead of “looking,” I begin to ask—and “listen.” In my mind, I ask him to share a message, and I feel his energy lighten. He is no longer the boy that had drowned, but a light, energetic spirit that is now free of his physical body. He tells me that he loved his short life. He regrets that it was not longer, and that his passing has caused his mother and his family so much grief. He is very happy where he is now, and there was no pain in his passing. I share this word-for-word with the person on the phone, who listens quietly. I have no idea what he is thinking, but I sense that we are in the midst of very special connection. The boy then says something that catches me off-guard. Even though I have learned over the years to not edit or hold back the messages I receive, this one seems insensitive to me, and I feel uncomfortable sharing it. I want to believe that I just interpreted it wrong. But that is not possible—I heard it, clear as day. His message was: “Tell everyone that I know how to swim now.” I take a nervous breath, share the message—and wait. I learn that the man on the phone is the boy’s uncle. After a brief pause to gather his thoughts, he again validates the evidence I have given him, including those final words. He tells me that was exactly the way his nephew was; he was always joking and playing around, and nothing could cause him to lose his infectious sense of humor. He was eight years old when he drowned many years before. His mother saw him in the pool that day and rushed out to save him, but she was too late. My “sitter” then tells me how grateful he is to receive such convincing evidence, things that I could not possibly have known, and how he now believes that his nephew is not only around, but still his same playful, joking self. As a complement to traditional grief support, experienced Evidential Mediums offer a service that is truly unique. The evidence and messages that come through make a mediumship session a wonderful place to find peace, healing, closure, and in some cases, long overdue forgiveness. A few weeks after the session above, I received an email from the young boy’s uncle. He told me that the previous weekend was the 20th anniversary of his nephew’s death, and the family had gathered in his memory. He shared with the family the details of our session. He told me how grateful they were to me for bringing Charlie through, and sharing his messages. The evidence had brought them greater peace, knowing that Charlie is still the same happy, fun-loving personality they all so fondly remember. Roger rogerhardnock.com
  6. My father, a lifetime smoker, has been lucky enough to live to 70. Recent medical check ups revealed several spots on his lungs. I am shocked at both of my parents as they are both unwilling to combat their addiction or actively work to get healthy. As if, they expected to check out at this age and have nothing else to live for. It upsets me. He is such a big part of our family tree. I've asked my father to begin a journal and an inventory of messages in anticipation of his death. I asked him what he would say to his four sons, 6 grandchildren, and daughters-in law after his death. I asked him to record video wishing his grandchildren happy birthdays for years to come, graduations, weddings, and future family births. I asked him to leave messages to us to help us grieve after he is gone and to give us his history so we never forget. Now that this is facing us, I worry about our history. Family trees are typically a trunk and branches when viewed on paper. Our branches have fallen away. We don't know our generational history. I don't want my father's history to be forgotten. That's why I asked him to do this. I will be the caretaker of his videos, documents, recorded audio files and hand them down the family line. I am starting a tradition. Any thoughts?
  7. My 82 year old Mum passed on 28 June last. She had been in hospital a month. But prior to that she came home from her nursing home to be with us for a while. It was a bad decision a d I think she deteriorated directly as a result of being moved. Tbe nursing home agree and blame me too. I know the suffering will not end for me until I die I was a nurse. Now I can never nurse again. I have told my employers what happened and I am now on sick leave. Every day is torture without my mum. I get flashbacks of things i did wrong and I wantvto die but I am not able to take my own life. I also fear death and judgement. I am waiting on counselling but the wait time in London is a long time unless you can pay. I never ever thought life could be so hopeless. I know I deserve to suffer but feel I should be in a place of correction. I thought of joining a religious order but you have to be happy in yourself for that. I am 54 so am too old really. My mum was the main one in my life. I have no children. I did have a partner but we drifted apart. No one seems to have had similar experiences. Dell60
  8. my mother died on December the 8,2013. it has taken a couple of weeks for me to get over the initial shock of her death, i had not felt the full amount of tearing, destroying pain. i am now beggining to experience the horrible pain and the one stupid impossible thought is i want my mommy. i just want her to take this pain away. this is just so horrible
  9. Hello- I lost my mother 7 weeks ago after a long fight with cancer. It was a very long 6 months just watching her slip away. 3 weeks ago my wife of 13 yrs said she wants a divorce, which was a complete shock to me. She says that over the past few years I've changed. I am hoping that we can work it out. We are best friends and we both still love each other. My question is- how do I deal with losing the 2 women that I loved the most within 1 month of each other. And- is it possible that my wife is acting out of grief. I will add that she is messing around with someone 20 yrs younger than her. Sometimes I feel that after going thru 6 months of hell and watching my mom take her last breath- that my wife is still in shock.
  10. Today is 4 months to the day I lost my father. He was my best friend, confidant, supporter, cheerleader and hero. I am still in shock to know he is no longer here to hug, kiss or hear his laugh. I miss that so very much it literally breaks my heart and takes my breath away at times. I do take anxiety meds when needed, and try to press through emotions without them. But I admit, sometimes (especially at night) it’s just too much to deal with. I have been so consumed with cleaning his house out, and prepping it to live in – that now I am in, I find the quiet takes over. I feared that once everything calms down, the emotions would start to surface more. Don’t get me wrong, I cry EVERY DAY and there is not a day that goes by where I feel some level of sadness. Some days more than others. Now, that thing’s are calming down and I am in his house, I thought I would feel more connected to him and I get so sad when I feel disconnected. There have been a slew of things that went wrong with the move and the remodel and I think that anger and aggravation is clouding my sense of connection to him. Also, the neighborhood has changed so much since I lived here with him, so a simple trip to the store triggers memories and the sheer fact of even neighborhood changes. So much change. I am blessed and thankful for he left me his wonderful home, yet I fear I will be stuck in these feelings of loss while I am here as I cannot escape it. I have only been in the house 2 weeks and I hope this shall pass. I would love to give his legacy a try. I know he would be happy that I am here. I am just feeling OFF. Any advice?