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Showing results for tags 'Hindsight reflection'.
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It has been over 11 years since my sister took her life. I always think that she should be here right now and we should be laughing about the odd times of our life. In 2003 it was the worst year. Father in law passed; Sister committed suicide; Wife died, then resuscitated and had pacemaker implant; Father went in for tripple bypass and susequent kidney failure; and wife went back into hospital because her lungs were filling up with blood. It was a turning point in a lot of ways. Now, here it is 11 years later and I am the only one left. I peruse the pictures of us all running together, visiting, vacations, events and just plain hanging out. The older parents are expected to pass at some point before us kids, but 35 and 48 are too young to die. The sister and wife just need to be here. Me and the Sis had just turned a corner in our lives as bro and sis but Wham! she takes her own life shortly thereafter. She did not turn to any of us family members in her time of need. I suppose we had not solidified our bond, but at least I had the best hug with her that I ever had before she passed. There was a Suicide Hotline and Survivor Program set up in her name, but it has since been combined with other programs. I did not go to her funeral as I wanted to remember her in life not lifeless. I was more mad that she did not even consider a family member as a lifeline especially me. I did not cry or get overly emotional, but was struck with awe and disbelief. She gets prayers and a candle at Church and is always remembered on special days. Her soul is being cleansed and she will at some point be where she is destined if not already. Sweet girl and I changed her diapers and took care of her as a little one. There is nothing that has happened since 2003 that she could not have overcome....