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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

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Found 7 results

  1. My wife's brother-in-law was recently killed in action overseas, leaving behind his wife and two-year-old son. They have moved in with us, coming from a base in a different state. My wife's sister is having a terrible time coping with her husband's death (she is very young), and she is suffering from crippling depression for which she is seeing a psychiatrist and a grief counsellor. Unfortunately her illness is making it hard for her to give her little boy all the care and attention he needs at this traumatic time. Because of the foreign deployment, my nephew didn't know his father well or spend much time with him: Dad was home around the birth, for about four months, and then back for a short leave that ended three months before his death. Still I know my nephew feels the void in his life, and he is also very aware of his mother's suffering. She is doing her very best to care for him, but she is very ill herself at the moment, and can only do so much. My wife is a huge support for her, but there's not much I can do except step up with the household stuff. However, I really want to do what I can to help my nephew, who's also grieving. I've taken a leave of absence so there's always someone home to care for him when his mother can't cope (my wife was unable to take time herself). I've been focusing on playing with him, reading, crayons, trips to the park, lots of cuddles and singing, but I don't know what else to do. I know it is best to keep from disrupting a toddler's routine at such a time, and we have been trying to keep it as consistent as we can. This isn't easy with the change of environment, as I'm sure you can imagine, but we're doing our best. I was wondering what else folks can suggest as far as ways to help him. My nephew is such a sweet little boy, and I want him to have a rich and supportive childhood. He's very physically affectionate, and we are trying to encourage that as much as we can. My children (first marriage) are away at college, and I'm honestly out of practice in toddler care. My wife can't have babies of her own, so her last real experience with little ones was when her sister was small. Has anyone been through the same kind of loss with a two-year-old? I'd be grateful for any advice or stories to help. I don't want to take the place of his father, but I'd love to be a positive male presence in his life.
  2. On the first day of my sophomore year of high school, when I was 15 years old, my father died. We lived alone together in a big house and we were home alone together when he died. I was the one who found his body. My elder sister of 2 years had a baby boy who was 6 months old at the time (Levi). A year later, he was killed in a tragic accident that to this day my sister still might be blamed for and will most likely go to prison for 10 years for “child neglect”. I live with my mother now, who I never really talked to before my dad's death. Me and my father were very close, and I was even closer to Levi. Levi was literally My Sunshine, and in a way his death has affected me worse than my father’s. My father's was to be expected eventually, but not my baby’s. I am now 17, 6 days away from turning 18. I still find myself in the same condition I was when they died. I don't know what exactly I'm looking for, pity or someone to tell me it's okay, or even someone to tell me it's not okay. I still don't know what to do or how to function like a normal human being. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Sarah
  3. Murdered at 4yrs...

    My baby brother was murdered at the age of 4, he was suffocated to death with a plastic bag in 1999 and i never met him... I feel like sometimes i dont have a right to be upset because i never knew him but its exactly that... i never knew him and i never will because some savage monster took a little boys life... 2 little boys lives because he was jealous! And now in 2018 he'll have chance of Parole. Wtf does that mean?!! He KILLED my brother.. How dare he be able to try and live a normal life!
  4. There are days that the hurt is greater, almost debilitating, tonight is one of the nights. I want so badly to go into her room and pick ehr up and hold her, she isn't there. I know she's not. Today is a month since her funeral and I still can't wrap my head around her not being here. I know she's not coming home, but something in me is holding on to hope that somehow there will be a mix up...like she had an identical twin, some crazy science miracle, and I'm going to get a phone call any second saying she's not really gone. She was just a baby. I don't know what to do without her. I have made it through a whopping 12 hours of work in the last two weeks because I don't feel like the world should have to keep going, I don't want to be there it's too much "normal" all at once and I just wish time would stop and wait for her, or speed up and let me go, I don't know. It just hurts so bad. The deep, in your chest, have to physically hold onto yourself so you dont fall apart hurt. The kind that starts in your heart and creeps up your throat and out your eyes hurt. I just want it to stop. Does anyone know how to make it stop? :'( Last Thanksgiving me and my baby </3
  5. On October 29th I received the worst news of my life. My partner was found unresponsive. I was pregnant with my first child, a baby girl that he was so excited about. I attended the funeral on November 6th and our daughter was born on November the 10th. To say I'm devastated is an understatement. I'm trying to find joy in my baby while grieving at the same time. I don't know if I'm coming or going. To top it off he was found in the home of an ex girlfriend and they are saying the cause of death is a possible overdose!? How am I supposed to digest this when I didn't even know there was a substance abuse issue in the first place. Granted we are awaiting autopsy reports but as you can imagine the circumstances make the death that much worse.... Each day I learn a new secret. Praying for some sort of peace because at this time I don't see any light at the end of this dark tunnel.
  6. There are days that the hurt is greater, almost debilitating, tonight is one of the nights. I want so badly to go into her room and pick ehr up and hold her, she isn't there. I know she's not. Today is a month since her funeral and I still can't wrap my head around her not being here. I know she's not coming home, but something in me is holding on to hope that somehow there will be a mix up...like she had an identical twin, some crazy science miracle, and I'm going to get a phone call any second saying she's not really gone. She was just a baby. I don't know what to do without her. I have made it through a whopping 12 hours of work in the last two weeks because I don't feel like the world should have to keep going, I don't want to be there it's too much "normal" all at once and I just wish time would stop and wait for her, or speed up and let me go, I don't know. It just hurts so bad. The deep, in your chest, have to physically hold onto yourself so you dont fall apart hurt. The kind that starts in your heart and creeps up your throat and out your eyes hurt. I just want it to stop. Does anyone know how to make it stop? :'( Last Thanksgiving me and my baby </3
  7. How Do I Cope?

    On April 7, 2013 my husband and I lost our son. He was stillborn. We had been trying for awhile and we were so happy when we found out that I was pregnant. It felt like our lives were coming together in the best way. I woke up with a terrible pain in my stomach and we went to the ER. They said everything was fine, they had him on the monitor and I could hear his heart beating. Then, all of a sudden, it was gone. It's been almost five months since we lost Anderson but I feel like I am getting worse. People have told me that it gets better and easier with time, but that is just not true. I feel worse today than I felt the day after it happened. I don't know how to function and I don't know how to be around people. I have become very short tempered and I tend to just stay home now. There are days that I don't even get out of bed because it hurts so bad. There are days when all I do is sit home and cry. Those days have been happening more and more often lately. I have always considered myself to be a very strong person, who could handle just about anything, but I feel like I have reached my breaking point. I know that I need help, but I don't know how or where to get it. I don't know how to cope with this. I just feel so lost and alone.
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