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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie


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Everything posted by ModKonnie

  1. The man I love took his own life

    I am so very sorry about the loss of the young man you loved. As much as you may find this hard to believe right now, time really does lessen the sharpness of the pain you are feeling. The empty, sickening feeling will fade. People deal with grief in many different ways; sometimes, people deal with grief by pretending they haven't been affected, while others fall apart openly. Stop blaming yourself for his death. It was his decision. You may need to really talk to a professional to deal with the intense trauma you have suffered over this. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  2. What if it never gets easier?

    You've definitely come to the right place. I am so very sorry you are dealing with this. I'm not so sure why you feel you SHOULD feel this way. I lost a brother, and while it was definitely horrific, life does go on for those of us who are still here. Your sister wouldn't want you to feel this way, would she? We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  3. Nonita, I am so very sorry about the sudden and tragic loss of your mom. We have a forum "Loss of a Parent," where you will find many people who have lost their beloved parents. They will be able to offer you support and encouragement, too. You have to stop beating yourself up over not calling your mom. I, too, go for days without talking to my mom. That's just how things are. Talking about your feelings will definitely help you to deal with them. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  4. Mum passed away suddenly

    I am so very sorry about the loss of your mom. You have come to the right place to find people to talk to. You may want to also post in "Loss of a Parent." There are many people in that forum who can offer you support and encouragement as you begin to put your life back together. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  5. deleting

    I will delete for you. ModKonnie
  6. Trauma from Siblings Heroin Death

    GrievingmySibling, I am so very sorry about the loss of your brother. Of course you are suffering from the horror and trauma of the whole tragedy. I'm glad you are going to a therapist. It will take some time for you to learn to deal with what has happened. Talking to others is the best way to heal. You've come to a good place to talk to people. Feel free to share whatever you are thinking or feeling. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  7. 100 Days

    Skywise, I am so very sorry about the loss of your Clive. You sound like you had an awesome relationship. You also sound like you are grieving in a healthy way and moving forward step by step. I'm sure helping your aunt has really been hard on you emotionally, mentally and probably physically. Your post wasn't too long; in fact, I enjoyed reading it. I almost laughed at the image of Clive slurping chili noisily while you were irritated. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  8. The Lost Of Both of My Parents

    I am very sorry about the loss of both of your parents. You will find many people here who share the struggle. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  9. Collage from the dead

    Well, if I could have had a collage from my father explaining who he is from the time I was born--I would have found that to be the most precious gift he ever gave me. I would love to know what my mother was thinking about and feeling and doing when she was young. So, I think the good would outweigh the possible negatives... ModKonnie
  10. Motocycle accident.

    I am so very sorry this has happened to your family. My brother died in a similar manner after a family argument in the middle of our yard. He drove off after fighting with my other brother, and an hour or so later was gone. I would suggest you talk to a professional about how you are feeling. You are obviously rocked by the trauma of the whole situation as well as the grief. You cope and deal by talking as much as possible about your loss, your feelings and your brother. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  11. They Forgot Me

    This is powerful... ModKonnie
  12. Collage from the dead

    Sugartree714, I don't think this is morbid; in fact, it doesn't sound like a bad idea. You could create one and give it to your child yourself when she/he becomes an adult. It may strengthen your relationship as you both learn how to become friends as adults. ModKonnie
  13. I am lost ..

    Crx, I am very sorry this has happened. So, you had a long distance relationship and you moved to the US. After being here for 2 days, your boyfriend's pet died, and he broke off the relationship? That is really awful of him. I know you are in pain, but you are probably better off in the long run. Take some time to grieve and deal with the end of the relationship, and then rebuild your life. Perhaps there was a lesson in this for you to learn... We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  14. I find myself questioning God

    I have no idea why bad things happen to good people, but they just do. I don't blame God; in fact, without Him, I couldn't get through some of the stuff life has thrown at me. I know God has a plan for all of us. I just don't understand it much of the time. It's okay, though. I still believe in Him, and always will. ModKonnie
  15. I feel I let my soul mate down

    Carrots, I am so very sorry about the loss of your soul mate. Your are not responsible for his death, so please don't blame yourself. Mental health problems are very difficult to deal with, particularly when they are someone else's. They wear a person down, and no one can blame you for trying to take care of yourself and your kids. I had a situation when I was a child where my brother had driven my sister, myself and my other brother to a party. On the way home, my brothers got into a fight. They ended up in a fist fight in the middle of the yard. It was two days before Christmas. My one brother jumped into the car and drove off like a crazed maniac, angry. A half mile up the road, he crashed into a telephone poll and died. Apparently, he had been drinking, and the fight was over his crazy driving. I was young at the time, and didn't realize exactly what was going on. It was difficult to deal with for all of us. I learned the same lesson you did--never leave a person in anger and let your loved ones know how much you love them. I drive my kids crazy by telling them I love them constantly. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  16. I am so very sorry about the loss of your father. I think it's wonderful that you are planning on continuing the family trip he would have dearly loved to have gone on. It's a nice way to honor him. While I'm no expert, I would certainly believe your anxiety and apprehension is normal. My suggestion would be to cry as hard as you want while you pack, and go have as much fun as you can. It may sound crazy, but when I'm doing something I know my dad would love, I talk to him about it; I feel as though he may just know what I'm saying. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  17. Posting Policy

    You cannot delete topics. I can delete them if no one has posted to them. Send me a message, and I'll see what I can do. ModKonnie
  18. Posting Policy

    Hi community, We've had some questions lately about policy and procedures. Simply put, here are some important things to remember: 1. Respect each other's beliefs, experiences and memories. Our forums are inclusive and encouraging for everyone who follows the policy. 2. Personal attacks against members are not allowed. Disagreements happen, but name calling, putdowns and criticism of a specific person is forbidden. 3. Advertising and/or marketing personal or company products are forbidden, including adding a hyperlink to a signature. Should you feel your product is important to the grieving community, contact administration to speak to a marketing/advertising representative. 4. We do not allow obscenity and/ or sexually explicit language, nudity in photos or inappropriate off-topic discussions. Thanks, ModKonnie
  19. Loss of my best friend

    Hi Chris, I am so very sorry about the loss of your sister. I have lost a brother, which was traumatic in itself, but I have not lost my sisters, who are my best friends. I can totally relate to how lost I would be without them. There are many people here who feel how you do. Hopefully, you will be able to connect and get some tips and advice for how to find support from others, who just won't ever be able to replace your sister, but who can still be supportive of you. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  20. Anxiety after Father's death

    Jamerton, I am so very sorry about the loss of your father. When my father died, I suffered extreme anxiety. I tried taking an anti anxiety med, but it actually made me feel worse. I was prescribed sleeping pills, and like you, I had good nights and bad ones. Honestly, I found that a combination of exercise, diet change ( no or very limited caffeine or alcohol), and prayer (meditation works for some people) seemed to work better. My anxiety actually went away after a few months. Do some online searches about deep breathing techniques to help with anxiety. They actually work quite well. I use deep breathing for a variety of stressful situations now, and I find it's better than drugs. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  21. I am so very sorry about your losses, and I am really sorry I somehow missed this post. Your "craziness" is truly normal. Death is a traumatic experience for those of us left behind. That trauma is hard to deal with and recover from. I hate going to funerals because they always remind me of the loss of my father. I picture him every time laying there. It brings backs tons of pain. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  22. Holiday Schmoliday

    What a nice poem. Well said... ModKonnie
  23. Christmas Angel

    I am so very sorry for your loss. It is okay to be hurt, angry, jealous and every other thing you feel about losing your baby while the world goes on oblivious to your pain. That's what is hard about any loss; no one seems to truly understand or care... Can you change up your routine during the holidays? Do something different? Would that help? We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  24. I feel like I’ll never get better

    April C, I am so very sorry about the loss of your dog. I know it's so very tough right now, but it will get easier in time. Have you told your parents how you feel? We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  25. Trying not to hate her

    It may be hard to live alone, but think of it as an adventure. Do things you've always wanted to do but never had "permission" to do. Join some, conquer something, just do something different and think of this as a positive step toward living your life to the fullest and reaching your dream. Somewhere along the way, there will be another love. Give yourself time to heal before you get involved so you don't end up hurting that other person. We will be here with you, ModKonnie