ModKonnie

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Everything posted by ModKonnie

  1. Have you talked to him about this? Does it have to be a permanent move? Can you be happy and find a comparable job in Italy? I do not have personal experience with this, but when my son was deployed in the military, he was gone for a year. His marriage almost unraveled due to the stress on each one of them. My daughter's husband travels for a living and has been gone for almost 9 months (been home a few times here and there). They are currently talking about ending the relationship. I've always been told that "absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I'm beginning to believe that absence makes the heart grow colder." That's just my two cents. ModKonnie
  2. I am so very sorry you are caught in this turmoil in the middle of your grief. Why did your parents not want him around? Are there counselors at your school? Can you talk to one? Are there friends you can talk to? Can you tell your parents you are angry over all this and confused? We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  3. Wow, I am very sorry for the loss of your father. You do sound very angry about the entire experience. I guess I am one of those people who like and love my parents. While they certainly aren't and weren't perfect, I forgave their mistakes as I matured. I was devastated and relieved when my father died. Devastated because I miss him, yet relieved that his horrific suffering was over. You may want to consider some professional advice for how you feel about your parents. Sounds like you hold a lot of pain, which probably isn't good for you in the long run. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  4. RizkaFTW, Do nothing for now. No big changes. Give this some time. Are your parents invalids? Do you keep in touch with them on a regular basis? Why do you need to make such drastic changes? You can be their support and have your own life. Do not quit your life. Think about all the options, and again, give this some time. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  5. I am so very sorry for your loss. I have no idea why things happen, and to really good people. I have no answers for you. I do believe you need to talk to your family about how you feel. I lost my brother to a car wreck many years ago. It was horrific and awful, but I can tell you from experience that the pain lessens over time and happy memories come back. It took awhile. Your grief is fresh, and your anger is strong. It is okay to feel that way. Just talk to your family and friends how you feel. Try to be there for his wife and family. You all need each other. Take care of yourself. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  6. Oh wow! I am so sorry for the loss of your mother, and I think there is no excuse for the behavior of your husband during that time. I am no expert, but I'm not sure I could "get over" his abuse during that time. Perhaps an actual marriage counselor could help you sort through your feelings. So, is he a good father? Is he emotionally supportive of them? Does he fight/argue/abuse you in front of them? If he is emotionally abusive to you or them, then he isn't a good father, so that's goes in the negative column. What are you gaining from the relationship? Support? Encouragement? Sounds like you aren't getting anything. Have you told him you are angry and can't get over how he behaved? What is his response? You do have a lot on your plate to think of. Do you have other family to talk with? Friends? We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  7. If you are reading this, scroll up to the top of the page and look at the top left hand of the screen. Right under the word "FORUM" is the word "Home." Click on that. Now, scroll down that page until you see the forum "Loss of a Child." It will be about midway down the page. Click on that. That will take you to all of the forums about losing a child. Most people congregate in "Loss of an Adult Child," no matter how old at the time of death their child was. I hope this helps. ModKonnie
  8. I need your email address to delete you. If you would privately message me, I'll get that completed. ModKonnie
  9. Hi Jackandemma'smum, I am so very sorry about the loss of your children. Most parents who have lost a child, regardless of the age, post in the forum, "Loss of an Adult Child." Everyone is welcome to post in there; that's just where people started to gather many years ago, and it's where people continue to gather, talk and support each other. Feel free to go visit there, read and post if you feel up to it. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  10. Let us know how you are doing, and remember that we will be here for you if you need to talk. ModKonnie
  11. You can't let go because you loved him. It's okay. I'm so sorry about the loss of your brother. I think we all have guilt over the death of our loved ones--why didn't we do this, and why did we do that--we can drive ourselves crazy over all the "what ifs..." You have to trust that he made his choices based on what was best for him. You don't have to let go either--you just have to move forward. You can still love him, and still be mad at him, and still feel all the other emotions that you are feeling. It's perfectly okay. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  12. I have no idea what to say. Can you try another doctor? Have they checked for other disorders, like an autoimmune disorder? We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  13. I am very sorry about the loss of your loved ones, especially your beloved Gram. Talking about her, talking about your feelings is the best way to heal. Perhaps others are not talking because someone needs to start the talking. Perhaps others in the family feel exactly like you do but are afraid, reserved or nervous about expressing how they feel. So, reach out and start talking. If you find no one in your family wants to talk about the lost loved ones, then find a self-help group or grieving group in your home community. Many funeral homes have grief groups that are open to anyone. We will be here for you, ModKonnie
  14. Hi, I am very sorry about the loss of your mom. We never "get over" the death of someone so important in our lives. We can move forward, and most of us do at some point learn to move forward. You should consider talking to someone--like a school counselor about how you are feeling, or even your grandmother. The best way to heal is to talk about your pain, your anger, your grief, your loneliness and everything else you are feeling. Please be sure and let those who love you know how you are feeling. They need to know in order to help you. Don't be afraid. They are probably f eeling the same way. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  15. Oh my KayC, I hope I'm not upsetting anyone with this statement--but I just don't believe in mediums. I've heard of some real quackery, and this is just another story to support that. I'd rather my precious pets die naturally fighting or something rather than being starving or trapped. And, since you live with a forested back-yard, she probably did come in contact with a predator. I was feeding a stray cat for weeks when we saw coyotes in our neighborhood. My stray disappeared that night. I've always assumed the poor thing met its fate with those wild beasts. ModKonnie
  16. Mitchek15, I am so very sorry you lost your father. The best thing I found is for you to continue talking with your mom about your feelings and her feelings. Be there for each other. Share fond memories, cry and just don't be afraid to feel what you are feeling. Try to also surround yourself with friends and family who are supportive of you both. Don't be afraid to ask for help. When I am missing my father, I like to sit somewhere quiet and picture his face, his favorite place in the kitchen and his smile. I picture him talking to me about what is troubling me, and while it may sound crazy, sometimes I can almost hear him telling me what to do. That works for me. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  17. Hi NickJames88, I am very sorry about the loss of your mother and how you feel like you have not moved forward in the past few years. Here are a few books that have been recommended: https://www.fairview.org/fv/groups/internet/documents/web_content/s_021615.pdf http://modernloss.com/6-grief-books-actually-help/ http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/ambiguous-loss-pauline-boss/1112326406 I hope one of these may help you. In the meantime, can you find a support group for grief and loss? What about counseling? We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  18. I'm very sorry about the loss of Leila. I had a young cat who I had just adopted and had a vet appointment one morning. As I was going out to the store, he zipped out of the house, and we joked "he was trying to escape before he got snipped." I didn't think anything of him running off; he usually came home just a short time later. Well, he didn't show up for hours. We looked for him, but didn't see him. As we were hollering for him, our neighbor walked up and said" "Are you missing a cat?" I said, "Yes." She said, "A yellow, tabby cat?" I said, "yes." She said, "Well, it's laying over in my yard dead. It obviously got run over. Can you come scrape him up and get him out of my yard?" She said that in FRONT of my four young children. They took off running toward my poor little cat, and I had to jump in front of them and stop them. My husband ran over there and nearly got sick. He went back to take care of things. I was so very ANGRY at that woman for being so cold and rude in front of my kids! And I felt so bad for my poor fur baby. Someone had hit him and run off. We laid him to rest and conducted a nice funeral. We buried him in a blanket he loved to sleep on. My kids were so traumatized by that woman. We never got along after that, and I was thrilled when she moved. It took awhile, but we were able to move forward from all that, and we've actually rescued four more cats in his honor. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  19. Awww, what a beautiful girl she is. I'm so very sorry. I've lost several of my fur babies over the years, and it's always so hard. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  20. Bibbith, I am so utterly sorry about the loss of your brother and the trauma surrounding it all. It sounds as though you truly may need to seek some professional advice in how to deal with all that you have experienced. I hope your family finds justice, and I hope you can begin to heal when the trial is over. If you feel like talking about what happened, we will be here to listen. Talking is the best way to heal. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  21. TashM, I am so very sorry for your loss, and I am so very sorry I didn't see your post. As hard as it is, just concentrate on getting through a little at a time. Do you have others who can help you? Is there anyone you can talk to? Just keep breathing.. Just keep breathing... We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  22. I am so very sorry about the loss of Jaxton. Have you ever talked to anyone about how you feel? I'm certainly no expert, but it sounds as though you are dealing with clinical depression of some sort with being unable to get out of bed. Perhaps a professional can guide you through your feelings and help you move forward. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  23. I am sorry about your diagnosis, but who told you that you only have 1-2 years left? I have been reading about the disease, and it sounds as though there are many available treatments. Are you currently getting treatment? I would talk to my doctor about how I feel. Perhaps she/he can send you to a professional who can guide you through dealing with your issues. Reach out to your parents and tell them your true feelings. Let them know you are scared. Perhaps this can be an opportunity to repair your relationship with them. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  24. I looked to see if you had posted anything, but I don't see any posts for you.Perhaps when you pressed "submit" it failed to send? Can you add the topic again? ModKonnie
  25. I am so very sorry about the loss of your brother. I am no expert, but I really feel as though you need to try to connect to other people and talk about your feelings. Isolating yourself is not good for you. I'm completely in the dark and have no clue about death metal and how that can be used as a healing tool, or even if it can be used as one. Do you have any friends you talk to? We will be here with you, ModKonnie