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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie


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About ModKonnie

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 08/10/1964

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Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Interests
    Fitness, Reading, Internet, My Children, Martial Arts
  • Loss Type
    Father, Brother
  1. My baby

    I am so very sorry you have lost your baby. Perhaps talking to your significant other about how you feel or some other close person in your life could help you deal with this. Don't be afraid to bring it up to people. Perhaps your loved ones just don't know how to respond or what to say to you. If people knew you were pregnant but then you haven't seen them for awhile, just tell them you lost the baby as briefly as possible. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  2. I'm too young to die

    Kylie, I am so very sorry for the loss of your sister. I am glad she did not appear to suffer. I am sure you miss her! We will be here with you if need us, ModKonnie
  3. Ruthanne, You actually sound so much better today. I'm glad you've found a few things to focus on while you are waiting for your home to get ready. Let us know how you are doing, and I hope your house ends up getting done faster than what they thought! We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  4. Grief and massage therapy

    I am very sorry about the loss of your mom. One month is certainly not even close to the amount of time it's going to take for your father to process through his emotions. His entire life has been turned upside down, and his life partner is gone. He now has to be alone, and if they were married for a long time, he is more than likely scared silly and completely lost. Group therapy will help in time. I'm not sure how massage therapy could help with grief, but it would definitely help his muscles to relax, which could help him sleep better. Exercise, moderate exercise in which he gets his heart rate up, is the best way to deal with depress. Brisk walking, house cleaning, etc., are all ways to do that. Get him some books to read on grief. Let him talk about his feelings. Let him cry. Talk to his family doctor about what he is dealing with. Again, your loss is so fresh it's going to take some time. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  5. Ruthanne, Have you tried counseling or group therapy to quit smoking pot? Do you want to quit smoking pot? Again, the Bible says that none are perfect, and we have all fallen short. While smoking pot is definitely illegal (in most states and countries) and not healthy for you, God still loves you. All of us are sinners. Not that I am making an excuse for bad behavior, but I feel as though you see God as a negative punisher, while I see Him as a Guide, Deliverer, Helper, Protector and Lord. I have had many struggles over the years, including several rough ones lately, but I don't see them as God trying to get me. Instead, I see it as a time for me to renew my relationship with Him again and again and trust He has my back and a plan. I'm no expert, but I would guess your panic disorder may have something to do with your pot smoking. And again, the Bible says that having done all you can, you should put on the armor of God and STAND. So, you've asked for deliverance, now believe you have it and do something about your smoking. Get to meetings, therapy, counseling, and whatever else is available. Take a proactive stance and get up and do something about it. Don't just sit back and be reactive waiting for a miracle. While miracles happen, they don't always happen. As for your son's family, let them work things out. People argue. Two weeks is completely doable; try to take the time to work on a few issues. Perhaps you could offer to help with the chores or cooking or something constructive. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  6. Crownholder2, I am so very sorry about your loss of Larry. I am no pastor, but I am spiritual. I'm a little confused with your post. Why would God be trying to knock you down? So that you can grieve or cry? Aren't you already grieving? There certainly is no rule that we have to cry when we grieve. You've certainly had a bunch of unhappy situations happen in the past year, but I'm just not sure that's God trying to knock you down. Instead, it seems as though your suffering and incidents are simply life's ways of letting you know you are still alive. In each of those situations, God helped you pull through; perhaps He is letting you know you are not alone, and you still have Him. As far as the quote about being chastened, I have to ask you why you think God would chasten you at a time like this? You need Him! You've done nothing wrong, so I don't see your series of unfortunate events as a chastening. To me, that seems like God would be almost cruel to one of His who is already down. Again, perhaps you've misinterpreted what's going on here. Could that be possible? ModKonnie
  7. You were there

    I am glad you are working on being okay. That is really quite a spectacular dream; what a wonderful way to let you know! ModKonnie
    • elena udatu has posted this inappropriate post on loss of husband, very offensive to new grievers who can't GET their husband back!  Seems spammer, can you remove her posts?  I see she's repeated the same thing to others.
  8. hi konnie,

    i think your website might be more useful to a greater number of people if you had less catagories and perhaps just a main chat board for newcomers . GRIEF and LOSS should be the foremost issues , not " loss by motorboat propeller , loss caused by trying to fk a cheese grater , etc " . 

    a newcomer doesnt know where to go to find like minded connections . 

    just too spread out . 

    1. KayC


      Not too hard to figure out, either you lost a spouse, a child, a parent, etc. you should know which and that determines where you go.  

  9. Concerns on miscarriage

    I would rely on the experience and expertise of my doctor in all things concerning pregnancy. If your doctor is not concerned, try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy. Congratulations! ModKonnie
  10. One year anniversary, 3:06am

    I am so very sorry Fallon died when she did and how she did. I can't answer for why things happen the way they do. I just know that if I dwell on "why?" or "what if..." all the time, I'll go crazy. Instead, I try to think of positive things about my lost loved ones--like happy memories, smiling pictures, important achievements. I feel I can honor them better by dwelling on the positive instead of the negative. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  11. Do I have PTSD?

    Sweetheart346, What you have described is exactly how I felt and what I experienced when my father died. As I kept reading, I begin to feel the tightness in my chest, my breathing became erratic, and I thought I was going to have a panic attack. When those attacks occurred after my dad died, I found it was debilitating, scary and horrific all at the same time. I can tell you that those anxiety attacks slowly faded with time, and I only have them occasionally now, like during anniversaries (my dad's is coming up next week), holidays, etc. I've learned how to refocus my thinking on something positive while in the middle of them. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious mom. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  12. my husband passed away monday morning

    Chasnrosa, I am so very sorry about the loss of your husband. You begin by just breathing, and getting through a little at a time. Cry, vent, eat, sleep, whatever you need to do. The soul-ripping anguish you are feeling will fade in time. You will be able to keep going. For now, surround yourself with people who will support you. Take care of yourself. Talk about your feelings. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  13. Guilt

    NUhura, I am very sorry about the loss of your mom. You can't blame yourself for her passing. We can dwell forever on the "what ifs," but it's not going to change anything. You did nothing wrong. Please stop beating yourself up. One thing you can do to move forward is to keep talking about how you feel. Talking helps the healing. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  14. Maggy, Stop! You will drive yourself crazy like this. If your doctor isn't worried, try to calm down. Go ahead and get the second diagnosis if you need to, but try not to stress like this. If you are self-diagnosing because of what you are reading on the internet, please stop doing that. I think if your doctor was worried, you should be worried, but if he/she isn't, then you shouldn't be. That's what I think. So, try to calm down and take a warm lavender bath or something to relax. It should all be okay. If you turn out to have a problem, you've obviously caught it extremely early and will get it taken care of. But, I'm betting that's not the case. We will be here with you, ModKonnie