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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie


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About ModKonnie

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 08/10/1964

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Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Interests
    Fitness, Reading, Internet, My Children, Martial Arts
  • Loss Type
    Father, Brother
  1. Funeral

    Are you working with doctors about your illness? Are there counselors or people of that nature available where you live? What normally happens to people with terminal illnesses where you are living? What do others do that have no means of support? Are you a religious person? Could you talk to a leader of your particular faith and ask about support and help? Do you have a friend from the area versed in tradition and culture you could be frank with? ModKonnie
  2. Brother passed this year - No feelings

    Sole-mate, I am so sorry for your loss of your brother. It is so honorable and awesome you took care of him. It's okay you are feeling as you do. When my father died, I was immensely relieved on the one hand because of his severe suffering, but I still loved him. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  3. I would like to delet my informtaion from the site. How do I go about it?


    1. ModKonnie


      Is there a problem I can help with? 


  4. Petricia01, I'm just going to tell you exactly what I think--divorce him. If he can't accept you just the way you are, you don't need him. He doesn't love you. Get rid of him. Period. Find someone who loves you for you, not your physical attributes. ModKonnie
  5. Loss Father & Job

    I am so sorry about the loss of your father and how terribly your ex-employer treated you. What you are feeling certainly sounds familiar. Many people experience fear and every other emotion while trying to regroup after a profound loss. Would seeking professional help be out of the question? How about an emotional support group? So, what are your plans for employment in the meantime? I believe you could use some face-to-face help to get things sorted out. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  6. Hi, So, to sum this up, I believe you broke up with him because he was reeling from the suicide of his ex, and it was something he couldn't quite get through. You felt as though it had become a dark cloud that was seriously bringing both of you and the relationship down. Let me ask you a question--what happens if he contacts you in a year from now? How will you know he is over all this? He definitely went through a horrific trauma, and I'm sure that had to be a very dark cloud above his head. It is going to take some serious time and probably some professional help for him to work through all the myriad of emotions that he is feeling. And then there is his child. Wow, he has a lot on his plate. I hope both get the help they are going to need. In the meantime, are you planning on dating? Is he? What do you hope happens? We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  7. CarlJo, I am so very sorry about the loss of your father. Yes, your parents cared for you and did a great job; however, your father required care and resources you simply did not have. Stop beating yourself up. You did the very best you could. I'm sure he loved you and will always continue to love you despite the fact he had to get care outside of his home. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  8. You have the right to refuse chemo and surgery. As for your children, I'm very sorry. Many people find that writing letters (even if they aren't sent) is a way to get some type of healing. Talk in the letters about how you are feeling, your thoughts, wishes, desires, etc. I don't know if that will help you (I'm no expert), but it's just a suggestion. ModKonnie
  9. My Brother Committed Sucide

    I am so very sorry you are going through this awful tragedy. First of all, you can't blame yourself. I, too, have family members struggling with addiction. I'm a certified drug counselor, so I have tried everything I can think of to help. I've bullied, cajoled, loved, got them to treatment, ignored, prayed for their incarceration--everything. It's very tough when nothing works. Sometimes, they have to hit rock bottom to get better. Unfortunately, for some, suicide seems to be a solution they find acceptable. This disease is exhausting and life shattering for everyone involved. My best advice for you is to start talking about how you are feeling to everyone and anyone who will listen. Let your loved ones know how you feel. Go to a group self help meeting. Get some counseling. Go to an Al-anon meeting (you'll learn so much, and you'll find others who have experienced what you have). Please don't try to bottle this up and "be strong." We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  10. Fruitloop60, I'm very sorry to hear of your long-term battle with cancer. Have you talked with your doctors and told them your decision? Do they believe you can recover from this current round? As far as your children, I am not an expert, but can you tell them how you feel? Would it help? Would counseling help you to deal with your physical battles? We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  11. My baby

    I am so very sorry you have lost your baby. Perhaps talking to your significant other about how you feel or some other close person in your life could help you deal with this. Don't be afraid to bring it up to people. Perhaps your loved ones just don't know how to respond or what to say to you. If people knew you were pregnant but then you haven't seen them for awhile, just tell them you lost the baby as briefly as possible. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  12. I'm too young to die

    Kylie, I am so very sorry for the loss of your sister. I am glad she did not appear to suffer. I am sure you miss her! We will be here with you if need us, ModKonnie
  13. Ruthanne, You actually sound so much better today. I'm glad you've found a few things to focus on while you are waiting for your home to get ready. Let us know how you are doing, and I hope your house ends up getting done faster than what they thought! We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  14. Grief and massage therapy

    I am very sorry about the loss of your mom. One month is certainly not even close to the amount of time it's going to take for your father to process through his emotions. His entire life has been turned upside down, and his life partner is gone. He now has to be alone, and if they were married for a long time, he is more than likely scared silly and completely lost. Group therapy will help in time. I'm not sure how massage therapy could help with grief, but it would definitely help his muscles to relax, which could help him sleep better. Exercise, moderate exercise in which he gets his heart rate up, is the best way to deal with depress. Brisk walking, house cleaning, etc., are all ways to do that. Get him some books to read on grief. Let him talk about his feelings. Let him cry. Talk to his family doctor about what he is dealing with. Again, your loss is so fresh it's going to take some time. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  15. Ruthanne, Have you tried counseling or group therapy to quit smoking pot? Do you want to quit smoking pot? Again, the Bible says that none are perfect, and we have all fallen short. While smoking pot is definitely illegal (in most states and countries) and not healthy for you, God still loves you. All of us are sinners. Not that I am making an excuse for bad behavior, but I feel as though you see God as a negative punisher, while I see Him as a Guide, Deliverer, Helper, Protector and Lord. I have had many struggles over the years, including several rough ones lately, but I don't see them as God trying to get me. Instead, I see it as a time for me to renew my relationship with Him again and again and trust He has my back and a plan. I'm no expert, but I would guess your panic disorder may have something to do with your pot smoking. And again, the Bible says that having done all you can, you should put on the armor of God and STAND. So, you've asked for deliverance, now believe you have it and do something about your smoking. Get to meetings, therapy, counseling, and whatever else is available. Take a proactive stance and get up and do something about it. Don't just sit back and be reactive waiting for a miracle. While miracles happen, they don't always happen. As for your son's family, let them work things out. People argue. Two weeks is completely doable; try to take the time to work on a few issues. Perhaps you could offer to help with the chores or cooking or something constructive. We will be here with you, ModKonnie