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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie


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About ModKonnie

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 08/10/1964

Contact Methods

  • AIM

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Interests
    Fitness, Reading, Internet, My Children, Martial Arts
  • Loss Type
    Father, Brother
  1. Conflict in family

    Hi, Is your sister who is dying able to communicate her wishes? If so, ask her if she is uncomfortable with your husband visiting or you visiting. If she is unable to communicate, ask her adult children who should be making all the decisions concerning her care. In the meantime, I'd recommend having a frank conversation with the sister in charge of the care now. People react in strange ways when loved ones are dying. Your brother may be dealing with personal horror and/or guilt over this situation. His staying may be a way of trying to do his best to help. Why was your sister estranged in the first place? And, I'm going to ask an uncomfortable question--why do you think the sister came back to care for your terminally ill sister? Was it genuine love and regret for the past or is there another reason? We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  2. It's raining today

    What a nice poem...
  3. I blame myself for the death of my fiancé

    Hi everyone, Unfortunately, I had this person restricted but he/she was able to get through with a different IP. I've taken care of things and banned all of the IP addresses and the member name. This shouldn't be a problem again. I appreciate everyone's watchful eye. Thank you for helping keep our forums clean and focused. ModKonnie
  4. Chinese writing problem on thread

    I believe I have fixed the problem. I flagged that person as a spammer, so hopefully, this will not happen again. Thank you! ModKonnie
  5. I work with people every day who are estranged from their families because either they are alcoholics or drug addicts or one or both of their parents are. Trust me, most people love their mothers even if they have suffered tremendously because of them. So, you are not alone in feeling absolutely horrible about all of this and feeling guilty. Even feeling numb and/or angry is perfectly normal. Of course you are angry at the abuse and neglect! You have every right to be. One way to get through this while waiting for a counselor is to simply write about how you feel and to talk about how you feel. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  6. Don't tell anyone

    I am very sorry about your friend's terminal illness and the closeness of her death. I think you are doing the right thing by being supportive of her adult child. You've tried to sort through finances and you are supportive in every way possible. Continue to be supportive; listen to him/her when the time comes. Reach out to your friend anyway; can you still contact her? Let her know what you are thinking, and have a discussion with her about all of it. It may help to deal with things, and it may help you to help her child. Unfortunately, the world isn't going to stop. This time of year is especially difficult. If you don't feel like celebrating the holidays, then don't. They will be here next year. Do what you need to do to get through all this. Change your routine if you have to. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  7. I miss my sister everyday

    I'm so very sorry about the loss of your sister and her husband, and I'm sorry you are angry at those who didn't let you have your moments. It's so tough to know how to deal with all this. Of course you miss her and love her! I can tell you that while right now the pain is unbearable, it will get easier in time. It actually is quite normal to feel very angry, not necessarily at her but just angry. You will never forget her. Ever. You will find a way to help her children deal with all of this. Give it a little bit of time. Just love them and her. Grieve, cry and talk. Just be there for them. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  8. New Baby

    Awww. Congratulations on the birth of your niece; how very sad for your family he can't be here for her. As she grows, you will find many ways she is like him, I'm sure. And you are right--she's a part of him that continues on--his legacy. I bet she does look like him--why would she? Let us know how you felt when you met her! We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  9. I am so very sorry about the loss of your uncle and how difficult it was for you to experience his particular situation. You are right; death can be just horrible to watch. Please try to talk about all of this with your friends and other close people. It may help you to deal with how horrible it was. The nurses know what they are talking about; if they say he wasn't suffering, then he wasn't. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  10. Jeeper41, I am so very sorry for the loss of your friend, and I thank her for her ultimate sacrifice. I have a son and daughter in the U.S. Army; when my son was deployed to Afghanistan, I never slept. I don't want to even try to imagine the pain and anguish Sam's parents suffer. Many people feel guilty for living when a loved one dies, especially when it involves a young person. You sound like a great friend. Thank you for being that kind of good person. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  11. I am so very sorry for you loss. I would suggest it is time to talk with her about getting professional help. Start with her doctor and go from there. I'm sure she is dealing with a slew of issues, but I'm certainly no expert. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  12. Can sickness be related to grief?

    Craig319, I am very sorry about the loss of your mom. I would seek the advice of a professional grief therapist who may be able to answer your questions with knowledge and experience. I know that some people can develop all kinds of serious illnesses and physical conditions due to stress, so it is possible your dad is ill from his grief. I'm just not an expert or medical doctor, so I can't tell you where to go from here. A professional therapist may be able to direct you. We will be with you, ModKonnie
  13. Death of my 34 year old daughter

    Gina, I am so very sorry about the loss of your beloved daughter. Please consider posting your story in our forum, "Loss of an Adult Child." You will find many, many parents who have also suffered severe tragedies and lost their precious children. They will be able to offer you sage advice and support as you get through this. We will be here with you, ModKonnie
  14. Left Behind

    Louby, I am so very sorry for the loss of your partner. It is not selfish to be angry at him. In fact, it is normal. I would suggest you seek out help from a professional, and definitely lean on your family and friends for support. You did nothing wrong in this situation. Please believe this. We will be with you, ModKonnie
  15. Webby

    Webby, I am very sorry for your loss. The shock and trauma of a sudden death is extremely difficult to deal with. Have you considered joining a support group in your town or possibly reaching out for some professional help? Sometimes, keeping a journal or simply talking about your feelings with others are ways to move forward from such a profound loss. If you feel like talking. what exactly happened? We will be here with you, ModKonnie