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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

why am i still here

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  1. Lost my partner, my soulmate, the love of my life

    Hello! Well it was warmer in Houston, but a very hectic, very little sleep, trip. Definitely not a vacation.......more like a punishment:) I have not got the pup yet, they are super busy, so in the process of setting a time to pick him up. Probably this weekend some time. I do have a couple of pictures I can show you , but they are on my phone, and not sure how to get them to you? If you could message me, or send me your direct email, i could send them that way. Sorry, not too good with the tech stuff. Got my first smart phone at age 62!
  2. Lost my partner, my soulmate, the love of my life

    I will when I get him, hopefully next week. Going to Houston tomorrow, my childhood friend is auditioning for The Voice, so a few days away in warmer weather:)
  3. Lost my partner, my soulmate, the love of my life

    The strangest thing happened to me yesterday, after I posted the message about wanting to adopt a Yorkie............. I got a text from a acquaintance. She works with Shelters and fosters dogs. I wasn't familiar with her phone number, but got a text with a collage of pictures of the cutest Yorkie.........the text read, He needs a home, his owners are getting a divorce, I am giving you first dibs on him. Or he goes to underdog rescue. He is one year old, 6 1/2 pounds, His name is Zippy. What are the odds, on Valentines day of this happening? The perfect little dog. Thinking maybe it is my hubby trying to help me out. As it turned out, my Valentines day had some good news & turned out better than I had hoped:) I kept going back and forth on pursuing getting another dog, but I really think this is meant to be, Deb
  4. Lost my partner, my soulmate, the love of my life

    What a pretty boy! I am going to be 63 in May. I don't know if I would have the will to go on without my pups............ Seriously thinking I would like to rescue a boy Yorkie, so my two little girls wouldn't have to fight over Chester ( the only boy)
  5. Lost my partner, my soulmate, the love of my life

    Thanks so much for sharing this. Funny you mentioned the Pet's..... My husband and I were big dog lovers. I had Yorkies for years, but the last 2 had health issues and died prematurely. My daughter is a Vet/ Veterinarian Pathologist, and suggested we adopt rescue dogs instead. I have 3, and they are literally life savers for me. They give me a reason to get up in the morning. The make me laugh & are there to comfort me when I am sad.
  6. Lost my partner, my soulmate, the love of my life

    You are absolutely right............... He battled the leukemia hard for two years, and 2 years before that when the VA couldn't figure out what he had, a another long story. We spent 42 days at Mayo in Rochester when he underwent Induction Chemo. It didn't work. Then we went to Chicago to get him into a study. He was in such bad shape by that time, he didn't meet the criteria. He wanted to die at home, our home of 32 years, and I couldn't refuse him. But now can't get that last day out of my head. I am trying to keep busy, set goals...but having trouble getting motivated. After all the doctoring, I felt relief at first, when he passed......... It was like a huge load was lifted off my shoulders, but now that has been replaced by a huge hole that I don't know I can ever fill.
  7. I lost my husband in June from leukemia.  We had been together since 1982,   it is like I died with him.   So much of what you are saying is exactly what I am going thru.  If it weren't for my 3 rescue dogs,  I am not sure I would be here.   I am hoping we can get over this,  but right now it feels like a fantasy, and not reality at all.  I know what you are going thru,  and my heart goes out to you,  Deb

    1. Sunflower2


      This is all new I'm not even into 5 months.  I do know we have to try to reach out when we can.  I'm believing it will get better. I have to believe.  I too would consider myself a strong and independent person but I've never experienced anything like this.  That strength and resilience will get us through.  If you read the other postings you will begin to see that we learn to carry the grief.  Movement helps.  Light exercising, walks, yoga.  Mindless activities. When the pain of the loss hits we crawl through it curl into it and feel it. focusing on your breath helps.  Journal.  I mentioned I'm in limbo.  I'm parked in limbo.  I can't go back yet I'm simply not ready to move forward in making decisions or finding a purpose. Limbo is dull but I don't feel limitations or obstacles.  I'm just not ready to completely accept Wayne in that afterlife form.  Kind of there but not there which is why I'm in limbo.  Next week is a retry on two different support groups.  I'm hoping one of the two will be a somewhat of a fit.  I do work once a week with a counselor.  in the end we do what helps us.  someone shared they did a collage. I journal every morning...its necessary to take baby steps and its ok to curl up in bed.  Your body will send signals.

      even with these efforts the grief is real and the pain is deep. Focus is very limited.  I do just enough each day and somedays if it means I need to curl up with a heating pad I do but I wont until I do one simple thing first. I'm finding salt floats extremely helpful too.

      check these out

      It's OK If You're Not OK  Megan Devine  

      Healing After Loss    Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief   Martha Whitmore Hickman

















  8. Lost my partner, my soulmate, the love of my life

    I've always considered myself a fairly strong person......until now. I lost my husband to leukemia in June, we were together 24/7 since 1982. We were loners, just happy to be with each other. Listening to music, having some beer & laughing till our sides hurt. He wanted to die at home after his battle with leukemia. I was happy to grant his wish.............Now I can't get his death out of my mind.....just keep re living the last day. I honestly feel like I died with him. We used to have people popping in all the time to visit, and he used to get irritated by the company. Since his death, it is pretty much like I have the plague. I know I am not the most pleasant person to be around right now, but this is when I need friends and family the most.