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About Jencatlover

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    Advanced Member

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  • Loss Type
  • Angel Date
    11th Jan 2018
  1. Can't let him go yet

    I think we all love Jacob on here too!
  2. Time, it's the only thing that will genuinely help. You can have all the support and kindness in the world from friends old and new and you can believe that others have experienced the same and you are not alone. All that is true but the only thing that will really help you come to terms with it is time. The reason we are so sad is because of all the happiness that we shared. Over time the thoughts of sadness they are gone slowly turn to happy memories of the life you shared. That's my honest belief. Others may have something different to offer you but that's been my experience and I've recently lost my 8th cat since 2001. It never gets easier, each pet is totally unique. But time helps. And please come here to share and ask for support, it's hard to grieve if your friends or family don't really 'get' it but everyone on here understands. (((hugs)))
  3. I'm not ready.....

    We do treat our pets like they are our babies and they feel like they are, that's how I feel about my cats. I'm sure they must see things differently to us though. I think life is simpler for them in so much as they don't have the worries or stress we do, they don't have the knowledge we do that can be so painful. I think they live in the moment so much more than us. They must do because why would they beg for their food, each day, as if they will never be fed again? Surely common sense dictates we ALWAYS feed them each day! Then there are other things they learn very quickly. I think they are selective in what they want to know. They know we adore them because they know exactly how to get around us and get what they want! There are a lot of things we will never understand about them, including why Ava is looking at something behind you. She must see the world differently to us and communicate differently so she could be sensing something you can't see. Their mystery is part of their wonderful appeal i think.
  4. I'm so sorry @Smokeysmom he was a gorgeous cat. You are in the right place here with people who truly DO understand what you are going through because we have been through it and felt like you do. We understand the pain and the loss and the fact it can be compounded with the difficulty of not being able to share your feelings with friends and family. Share on here please. I lost my 16 year old baby boy cat Bertie ten days ago and it does get easier but the toughest things are the little things, the small daily routines we have with them that hit us at the most unexpected moments. It will get easier I promise. But I also know that words from someone else, no matter how kind or understanding, don't take away the pain. But you can talk and share here as much as you want and for me that has helped a lot. It's a cruel irony that we feel this terrible loss so deeply yet we are often unable to share our grief 'properly' with those around us. Please keep talking on here because the people on here are wonderful.
  5. Can't let him go yet

    I have all my fingers crossed for this brave little boy, I'm so happy for you!
  6. Can't let him go yet

    What a gorgeous doggy Bear was, so handsome and cuddly. And smart too, I've always been a cat person as I think dogs need more energy from their owner and maybe I'm lazy but dogs are awesome too. I think the support for Jacob is building here, we are all so behind him and willing him to do well. Not wanting to hijack the thread Jacob reminds me of my cat Wizz, ironically named as she had 3 legs but she looked so much like Jacob does now. She was poorly when I had her and had to have her back leg amputated at the age of two, she actually lived a further 15 years with me on those 3 legs and spent the last 4 years on thyroid medication. She was the strongest little cat I've ever known and such a character. They are fighters when they want to be and all you can do is care for them and love them. Jacob is amazing!
  7. Can't let him go yet

    I'm sure I'm not the only one who is checking this thread regularly for Jacob updates, I'm just so happy you have a vet that's caring and understanding and you know he is in good hands. It's such a simple expectation but one that's been so tough to find. I'm so so pleased to see he is doing better, have you told him how famous he is? Give him a kiss from all of us and tell him he has a ton of support on here!
  8. @MyMocha how are you feeling now? I am feeling a lot better but it still hits me a lot, I was watching a TV programme and the storyline was someone having life support switched off and that just reminded me of my Bertie. The house is still so quiet too. I was away overnight last night and normally when I come home in the morning there is a string of furry expletives directed at me for my lack of timely feeding. This morning, hardly anything. Charlie was keen for breakfast but the other two were just strolling around not bothered. So different to Bertie who would block the opening of the door and start yelling at me. I just remembered something now, he was so often waiting in the window for me to come home and when they key went in the door he would run to the other side to shout at me for food, regardless of when he was last fed. Just seeing him in the window was so lovely, such a great welcome home. Time will adapt I suppose. Things are getting better but I don't believe the sadness ever leaves you, it just shrinks to more manageable levels.
  9. Lost 16 year old cat yesterday and struggling to cope

    Well today it was a week since I lost my lovely Bertie, I do feel a lot better most of the time but some things hit you and the week milestone definitely has. In some ways it feels like yesterday he was here and in others it feels so long ago. This morning I picked up two bowls from the floor and leaned over to pick up Bertie's, just a split second before I stopped. The routines are so ingrained in our everyday lives aren't they? Love you my Bertie & miss you so bloody much xxx
  10. Can't let him go yet

    This thread is just breaking my heart but I'm so happy to see that Jacob is being properly cared for and treated and he's getting the care he needs. He is a little fighter xx
  11. Can't let him go yet

    I feel for you too Ninah-Marie, your fatboy looks a lot like my Charlie... he is here thankfully but I did lose my cat Bertie almost a week ago and that's how I found this forum and lovely people on it.
  12. Can't let him go yet

    Any decent vet should offer an instalment plan for a situation like this. But I think you need to do what's best for your lovely cat, whatever heartbreak it means for you. You have to do the best thing for them however difficult it is for you and we all know on here how hard it is xx
  13. I'm not ready.....

    @KayC you are right, it's a different kind of grief before when you know what has to come, different to afterwards. It's tough because NOTHING will be worse than after as there is no going back but beforehand can rip your heart out just as much with the knowledge. Sarah keep us updated, although little can help, it does make some difference when you are speaking with people who not only have been through the same and can share their experiences, but also people who understand and listen with compassion which is a hard thing to find, even with friends and family. I've felt that people on here have been so supportive and that's what you need but your friend sounds wonderful so lean on her too if you can.
  14. Lost 16 year old cat yesterday and struggling to cope

    Well what got me today was a simple custard tart. I left it on the side for a moment and for a split second thought I can't do that, Bertie will chew it, before I realised. There was at least one occasion where he decided he fancied a bite and took a chunk out of one. The thing is, I still ate it! I cut away the bit he had nibbled and ate the rest. I will never know why he liked to steal weird things, I think it was the action of stealing something he knew wasn't his. Stolen food is so much nicer than your own and such an achievement. But I also remember shouting at him when he did it and feeling terrible. I suppose that's normal. Disciplining a cat is like holding coffee in your hand without a cup, it's never going to happen. Their house, their rules, I hope Bertie has lots of custard tarts to steal now. It's really the little things that hurt the most afterwards. So sad again right now and I was feeling a bit better too.
  15. I'm not ready.....

    Sarah please don't think you haven't done enough for her, I think you have done brilliantly as you said you have had your own struggles too. Ava is gorgeous, such a lovely picture. I think we all think back to things we could have done differently, maybe we could have and maybe not. We do the best we can at the time and animals love us unconditionally, that's a big part of why many of us are closer to our pets than to other people. Pets don't judge us and the bond we have with them is amazing. Knowing the end is close is just heartbreaking and I feel your pain. You have time now to be with her, love her and cuddle her, she looks like she gives great cuddles. I can't say anything that makes things easier, only that we have to do what's best for them in any situation, regardless of how impossible the decision is.