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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

hearthurt1013

Members
  • Content count

    33
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About hearthurt1013

  • Rank
    Hearthurt1013
  • Birthday 10/13/1961

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    US
  • Interests
    Music, Reading, Cooking, Politics
  • Loss Type
    My adult child
  • Angel Date
    12/30/2017

Converted

  • Occupation
    Freelance Writier
  • First Name
    Lou
  1. Loss of an Adult Child

    I am online working right now. I will be checking in later on today. I hope everyone has a peaceful day.
  2. Loss of an Adult Child

    It has been a long and tiring day. We are OK, but exhausted. We are hitting the rack early tonight. I'll be back on tomorrow morning before I go online at 1 PM for work.
  3. Loss of an Adult Child

    Thanks Dianne for your message of support. We are taking it one day, one hour, one minute at a time. At least I have online work to keep me busy. I'll be checking in at 4 PM EST.
  4. Loss of an Adult Child

    I am going to be online working, so I will be away from the site. I'll check in at noon time during lunch.
  5. Loss of an Adult Child

    Please know that I am here for all of you. I have reached out to some of our neighbors and have gotten told to screw off. I come here to get support, yet I feel I am irritating people. I will be back tomorrow...but not right now. Peace, dreams and Our Lords' rest.
  6. Loss of an Adult Child

    Maybe put the speach out of your head and let your thoughts freely flow. They will come to you. As a freelance writer, that is what I do. Write from your heart, not your head, not that you wouldn't, but it is a technique I have used in the past.
  7. Loss of an Adult Child

    Recemtly, I have been rumenating on my son, especially when he was a little guy. In spite of the fact that he was as bright and intelligent as he was, he would say things that threw us for a loop. We had just gotten done watching "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory". The kids went to sleep and first thing in the morning he made a major announcement. He wouldn't make the announcement until we were all in the living room and the TV was off. Once he had arranged everything he said, "I know what I want to be when I grow up". I asked him what it was. He proudly told us he wanted to be an Oompa-Loompa! I told him that Mom and I work very hard to save for his college education. His answer was that it was his money so he could do what he wants with it! I told him we own EVERYTHING here, including all the rooms in the house, etc. He said it was his life and besides what is wrong with being surrounded by candy. I asked him if he found any Ooopa-Loompa schools and how he would afford it. He told us that he couldn't find any online (I checked his account and there it was in his history that he was searching for Oompa-Loompa schools) and that he would go on a scholarship! I couldn't help but break out laughing and I thought the misses was going to fall on the floor with laughter. He really had the gift of making people smile and laugh. I hope this brought a smile to everyones' faces.
  8. Loss of an Adult Child

    Hi NiquesMom: Like you I am a Newbie. I can tell you that this is a great place for support. I just lost my 22 year old son on 12/30/17. It was a total shock. When I lost my parents, I know it was painful, but not unexpected because their health was not good and the process was a lot longer. When it is a child in their prime of life, the shock is devestating. I have a question. You needn't answer if it is too difficult. What would your daughter want you to do with her little brother? If your daughter was anything like my son, I am quite sure that she would want you to be a reflection of her love for you, her father and her little brother. I am having quite the struggle myself. I find myself, sometimes, while my wife is sleeping wandering around our apartment in the middle of the night, then like you, I begin to weep. I pray Our Lord comforts you and holds you close. Lou
  9. Loss of an Adult Child

    Hi Erica's Mom: What a really nice thought. Enjoy your walk. Lou
  10. Loss of an Adult Child

    Just an FYI: I do work online during the week. This week I am working 9A-4P Tuesday and Friday amd 1P-4P on Thursday. We will be home all day today and will be gone for doctor's appointments on Wednesday pretty much all day (She has 3 appointments in a row.) I don't want anyone thinking I have become completely de-railed in case someone needs me.
  11. Loss of an Adult Child

    Good Morning: I trust everyone slept well. I am not conducting business today because of the MLK holiday. My business contacts are not in their offices, so I can't really do much. I am feeling a little better today, but sore from sleeping in one position. Oh, well. On balance, I guess it is better than being up half the night. The misses is OK, so we are just going to relax and maybe play Monopoly or Scrabble. I will be checking in periodically. Have a great day.
  12. Loss of an Adult Child

    Well, if I can't sleep, I will be back later this evening. If I can, I will be on tomorrow. "Have we not heard the chimes at midnight?" (Henry IV, Act 2). Sleep well.
  13. Loss of an Adult Child

    Louanne: You are not loonie tunes, your cheese has not slipped off its' cracker and I don't think making a reservation at Bedlam is necessary. It seems to me that this is a strange confluence of circumstances that brought me here. Have you not considered that maybe you were here for a reason, maybe to minister to me and others that need your guidance? Yes, really, my name is Lou. That's what my birth certificate, diploma from high school and BA from college says. I am not trying to scare you, either. Maybe Kira, Billy and your Dad got together to arrange this to protect you and me from all this hurt. I do believe that Our Lord arranges for angels in our midst and the gift of discernment is meant for those that can understand. I believe in your logical mind that this is all weird and quite strange. I prefer to think that what St Paul teaches us is true concerning the weight of the burdens handed to us. Our Lord will never hand us more than we can handle and although we may not understand what is happening, he does and in his time and due measure, we will come to know his wisdom. In 1968, Ted Kennedy eulogised Bobby with the following: " Some men see things as they are are and say why. I see things that never were and ask why not." In recent days, especially with my roller coaster of emotions, coupled with the support I have received here, I would not begin to debate Our Lords' profound wisdom, suffice to say that all things in due time according to Our Father's will. In many ways, my son was like Bobby Kennedy...a dreamer, a sweet soul and a very gentle countenance with the gift of wisdom beyond his years and life experience. That is why his interest was in healing people of cancer by using fungii and the potential he had and his ability to tap into his dream of a cure, to my mind at least, directly ties into the eulogy for RFK in 1968. I do feel my 56 years, but in many ways I feel a lot older and in many ways a lot younger. To quote Charles Dickens, "'It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.' (A Tale of Two Cities) That is very much my son and his thought process. That I believe is where I am heading to rest and sleep. "To sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there's the rub,. For in that sleep of death what dreams may come. When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,. Must give us ... Ah, but there's the catch: in death's sleep who knows what kind of dreams might come, after we've put the noise and commotion of life behind us." (Hamlet , Act 3 Scene 1). With the hurt we all feel after the loss, The two quotes above may give us solace and peace. May you find peace this evening and thank you for being there for me.
  14. Loss of an Adult Child

    She asked me to sleep on it, as far as me moving out. I said I would. She expressed to me that she is grieving as well and she is feeling as I am...shocked, angry and hurt. The rest of the kids are on their way and have been for quite some time. They know I am here as is Mom. We just ate and I am feeling better. I have had a touch of hypoglycemia since I was a teen and I get pretty nasty when I don't eat and I know all that coffee is not good for me. My concern is that her health is so fragile because of her diabetes, GRD and kidney problems, what if something would happen were I not here. I do need to weigh the options for both of us. The other kids are in shock like we are. I figure with the two older girls and the little ones, I would best help them by NOT calling them. They know me all too well and I don't think they could effectively parent if they are upset in front of the wee ones. I will check in tomorrow. I am closed for business tomorrow. I work in areas of mortgages, title, rules and regulations and with everything closed, there is little I can do. ave a pleasant evening everyone! And again, my thanks.
  15. Loss of an Adult Child

    I HATE THIS! One minute we are getting along just fine and the next we are at it. I can't stand to see her hurt and yes, I am blaming me. I feel so alone, lonely and upset. I feel like people around me hate me (possibly blame me), think it is funny to laugh at a grieving person who has lost a child, just to see them hurt even more. What the hell are they trying to get? I just don't know what to do with myself. I usually like to eat...I don't even want to look at food. I have been drinking so much coffee, it isn't funny. My sleep is up for grabs and I feel like I am going to lose my militant Italian mind on somebody. The one who is hurting the most is my wife and it is all my fault because of my reactions to what is going on around me. I can't stand noise and on some level I like the nights better because it is quiet.
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