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emmarogers

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About emmarogers

  • Rank
    Newbie

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Loss Type
    lost my mother
  1. Thank you @sadandlost and @reader. I will definitely talk to a therapist this week. I feel better reading your comments, because I felt encouragement and support. Thank you both for replying, it means a lot right now. Hope you are having a great day.
  2. My mom and dad had been married for 20 years when she died from 5 year battle with cancer. When she died I had just started uni and my sister was 8 years old. When my mom died I thought that this would be the hardest time of my life, but 6 years onward I am feeling the worst I have ever felt. My mom and dad had a really calm marriage. They had never argued about anything (maybe some normal minor arguments once in a while). When my mom died, my dad started dating this woman after a MONTH. Not only he started dating her after such a short period of time, but she is 15 years younger than him (my dad was 50 and she was 35), super hot, AND she was my mother's student at university (My mom used to be an university teacher). So my father decided after a month that it was ok to invite her over without even asking me and my sister if that was ok with us. The next thing I knew, after 3 months she had moved in. Also I want to mention that I live in a country that does not have the best economy so we don't move out from our parents house until we are 28-30 because we can't afford to. So because I wanted my father to find another love, and sometimes love comes unexpected, I made myself be ok with this woman. But, then my father changed completely. He only went to holidays with her, and never took my sister, who was 8 years old at the time. She really deserved to go on a holiday. I didn't care about myself. I only cared about my sister because she was the one who was more damaged by the loss of our mother. My dad didn't care about cleaning the house, doing the dishes, ironing the clothes, doing lunch... He was only interested in his new woman. I was doing everything around the house, while trying to mend my heart, and taking care of my sister. And if that was not enough burden, he was constantly telling me how I wasn't doing anything, how I never helped with the house. And that's what hurt me the most, because I finished UNI really fast, I found a really good job, I was spending all my money on the house and he was never satisfied with me. Also this other woman is really mean. I really gave her a chance but she is just mean and I feel like she is competing with me and my sister about my father, and that's the worst feeling ever. She is telling him how she wants them to be alone, how they always have to go on holiday alone etc. She is also always telling my father whatever my sister does wrong, so he would yell at her. She is also pressuring him to make a baby, which annoys the hell out of me, because he can't even pay attention to us. Right now he is a mess. He is constantly yelling at us, telling us how we are worthless. And btw, my boyfriend of 9 years, constantly tells me how he is worried that I might become like my father one day, and that's the last thing you want to hear from the person you need the most support at times like this. I cant take this anymore. I feel so left out. I feel like I have been the adult since my mom died. I have taken care of my sister, I have taken care of the finance and the house. And he tells us that we are a burden to him. I've never felt more helpless, alone and unloved. Please, send some advice... I need an advice on how to talk to him about this and make him understand that a parent should never make his/hers children feel unloved and unappreciated. Also I wouldn't mind some advice on my bf
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