Jump to content
Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
  • Announcements

    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Ruby40

Members
  • Content count

    13
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Ruby40

  • Rank
    Member
  1. Not sure what's going on with this site but I can' put my reply to you sparky in the right place so I hope you read this. I no longer hate my house and realise it was just a state of mind. However I look in all the places he used to be lying sleeping and feel so empty still. I cry every day still. The difference I have which makes me feel better is having his brother still here. Alfie must be missing him too but he seems to settle ok and no crying. A dog to pet and play with still is the distraction I need. This however scares me so much for my future once Alfie goes. I can't have no dogs in my house but I work full time. I have already googled which breeds can be left as I need to give a dog a home. I haven't even got to that stage and this also could be a state of mind and i find I am ok but the dread lingers. The guilt is still there but I try to not focus on it and you should not on the phone call. Focus on all the great times together you had. Mak was my best friend and he taught me lots in my life too. The bond was amazing and he will never be forgotten. I have tears as I write his name. My bedroom not the same as no breathing noises but I have Alfie deciding to sleep in here now which he didn't before. It's been less than a week and I am grieving still big time. My afternoon and night has been a bit better and I have thought of the great walks we all did rather than a poorly dog all the time. I loved him so much and he will never ever be forgotten. I'm making a super fuss of his brother even though he likes to be alone. I worry he misses him too but he seems to be settling and no crying
  2. My afternoon and night has been a bit better and I have thought of the great walks we all did rather than a poorly dog all the time. I loved him so much and he will never ever be forgotten. I'm making a super fuss of his brother even though he likes to be alone. I worry he misses him too but he seems to be settling and no crying
  3. I did look and I don't understand how the site works so couldn't find anthing. Thank you for this. The guilt reading has helped me loads. The video then made me cry. What a sad sad time but I know Mak is in a better place
  4. Strange you should say that but vet wanted his teeth done 2 months ago and I said no. Your mind goes crazy thinking of the little things that were maybe not good for your furry friend. I'm so annoyed with myself I refused the sofa to him because of his accidents. However he had a bad back and wasn't wanting to jump anymore and just lie by my feet. Why do i focus on bad stuff and the vision of him on the vet table....I'm making myself worse with grief
  5. I'm really struggling and I know I'm grieving (obviously) but it's so hard. He is such a miss. I am riddled with guilt now too....I didn't take him out as much in old age....all the times I told him off and he knew by my tone I was cross. He was having accidents in house so I didn't let him on the sofa anymore in the last 6 months. I am a horrible person
  6. A terrible start to the new year

    This is such a sad story and I know how you feel. Wednesday night my best friend at the vets just shut himself down whilst we were talking about what to do next. All his xrays came back fine too. His bloods were remarkable they said for 13 years. But yet last 2 weeks breathing not as good ....losing weight and looking not well. Start to the new year is dreadful timing and I feel your pain. I can't stop crying. I still have his brother but Mak was my shadow and my best friend. Alfie has always been a loner. The house is not the same and I hate it. I'm making a fuss of Alfie and he just doesn' seem to be bothered but he is 13 too. Horrible horrible time at the minute
  7. I'm really struggling and I know I'm grieving (obviously) but it's so hard. He is such a miss. I am riddled with guilt now too....I didn't take him out as much in old age....all the times I told him off and he knew by my tone I was cross. He was having accidents in house so I didn't let him on the sofa anymore in the last 6 months. I am a horrible person
  8. Do you mean share how he was or share what happened. Sorry never done this before and just need people to understand who have gone through this too. I have people around me who are sympathetic but not going through it now or recently so their advice is limited.
  9. Vet told me the fear of being there may have raised his heart rate so I said I felt guilt now. She said please don't as this would have happened very soon and if at home it would not have been nice to go through and watch. She helped him go quicker too which I would have been panicking and ringing emergency vets. I just miss him so much and the pain is not going. I can't sleep either as I miss his breathing in my bedroom
  10. Thank you for kind words. You really have gone through the mill with losses in your life. Your right with the special connections as I still have his brother with me but it' just not the same. Mak was my best friend through and through....my shadow. He was not in pain but they think he may have had cancer the way his body lost weight and shut down. However he wasn't himself and his breathing was suffering rather than being in pain. Last night he decided to shut himself down at the vets as if he knew he was in the right place so they helped him along. Dreadful to watch but I was there till the end when he was no longer conscious and they gave the injection. I went as a follow up appointment and never came back with him but I just knew all that day he wasn't. I never thought he would have died himself first though. Was a shock
  11. Thank you for your kind words. I have another dog ....His brother ....but it's still not the same. Mak was my shadow and his brother a loner....still is. I am searching the places he slept and it's so sad. Everywhere I went he was by my side and it's a huge loss. No longer this friend of mine sleeping in my bedroom softly breathing. He was so poorly the last 3 weeks and just gave up last night on a visit to the vets so they helped him a long. It was awful to watch and I had to be removed from the room as his body shut down. It is so so sad but he has had a great life I know
  12. I need people to talk to please in similar situations. Last night I lost my best friend Mak who was 13 but so poorly. The house isn't the same....I hate it
  13. I need people to talk to please in similar situations. Last night I lost my best friend Mak who was 13 but so poorly. The house isn't the same....I hate it
×