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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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VelaBird

Members
  • Content count

    13
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About VelaBird

  • Rank
    Member
  • Birthday 06/17/2005

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Rancagua.
  • Interests
    Birds, plants and photography.
  • Loss Type
    Rescued baby dove.

Converted

  • Occupation
    None.
  • Interests
    Birds, photography and gaming.
  • Last Name
    Nolasco
  • First Name
    Pedro
  • Country
    Chile
  1. Rescued baby dove died, can't get over it.

    Today it's been officialy a month since Flimsy passed away, and it's like all the memories are flooding back. The bad thing is that good memories also make me sad. I remember the exact detail of every minute of the day that it died. I remember when we travelled to Santiago, I was extremely anxious all the time because I wanted to go home and feed it, that was 4 days before 13th. I can remember when we found it. I remember when I found it dead. I even have an issue where if I hear an acute noise resembling Flimsy I instantly go to my room, like muscular memory. Everything makes me cringe and burst in tears, I don't think this is an exaggeration...
  2. Rescued baby dove died, can't get over it.

    Here in Chile there aren't volunteering for that, only dog rescue. And I don't think I can ever get the chance to travel to USA and volunteer there, it's not cheap! And i'm not extraordinary, it's just that I get obsessed with a topic and start researching non-stop until my curiosity has been contented...
  3. Rescued baby dove died, can't get over it.

    I'm not that sad for my little Flimsy. My Father felt bad for me and bought a beutiful grave-like block. We burned the shoebox and put the ashes and some food with the grave. And feels better to know I have honored it.
  4. Rescued baby dove died, can't get over it.

    I live in Chile. Vets and doctors only care about MONEY!! And if you don't like paying 300'000 CLP (About 450 Dollars) for each suture stitch, you can go on a public hospital and pay 1/10 of the said amount, but wait about 5 hours until is yer turn. And vets are professionals... ON DOGS AND CATS ONLY. If I give them the bird they will not know what the heck to do with it. (I sound angry because it's true) I feel like they forget about birds, they are also animals and also matter. The only thing that it's on my reach is make some research on care of these birds, but most of them say "Take them to the vets, ya bums!" And if I find some guidance, it's probably not something I can do. (Or I'm too worried and get numb) like making a special recipe. About volunteering... There is nothing around here, and never really saw anything related to the topic. Sorry if I speak weird, I have learned English by myself. Just after all these years I finally can write something.
  5. Rescued baby dove died, can't get over it.

    Another terrible incident happened: 3 days ago we found yet another bird, this time a baby sparrow. He died some minutes ago from a grave digestive problem caused by the diet my Father told me to give him. Lucky me I didn't form a bond with him because I knew it was going to die. But not in a so gruesome and painful way. I may not feel sad for the bird, but yes because I just can't imagine the agony that he had to live through his last hours, all because I listened to my Father instead of following my instinct of giving him grinded wheat. Also, his body is almost covered in a yellow mucose, meaning that he vomited seconds before his dead. I just can't imagine! When I get some stomach problem and vomit it's an AGONY. This poor little bird had to handle that for 2 days, and it's all my fault. Sorry if I repeat myself.
  6. Rescued baby dove died, can't get over it.

    It's night, I just... after all the pressure just broke crying silently, I just can't think of other thing that my little Flimsy dead and a music box from background, if not that I get extremely angry because I bottled my feelings when I could have received support. My daily routine has changed, instead of playing games on my PC all day, I walk on circles in my house and entertain making balls with random strings from my pillow, and rarely use any technology. I don't know exactly what you mean with writing my feelings down.
  7. Rescued baby dove died, can't get over it.

    I'm really upset because on the very first days I tried to bottle my feelings, but on those days my family understood and supported when I cried. Now that I decide to stop bottling my feelings my entire family hates me because "it's too much time, just get over it" Basically: I bottled my feelings when my family supported me and released when it's too much time. And since my house is bigger than my garden there is no way, it really feels like a prison.
  8. Rescued baby dove died, can't get over it.

    My entire family is against me and my dad is selling all of my pets if I cry one more time. I have no choice other than bottling my feelings up. My few friends don't even care at this point. I'm on summer vacation until March.
  9. Rescued baby dove died, can't get over it.

    The second bird may satisfy the time I wanted to feed my Flimsy... But it only makes me cry more because it makes me remember how loving was my little Flimsy and this one bruises itself trying to escape... I remember the day when Flimsy died, It was 4PM and I didn't processed that Flimsy wasn't there, so I go to feed it... But the box was empty. That made me drop to the ground and almost scream in my pain. Its perdition was so sudden that the shock just made me think it was there, even after the crappy funeral we gave it. At times I totally forget about it, but when I think of it, when it was rigid on the box. I run into a maze of terrible thoughts, I even cry because instead of burning it and save the ashes I buried it, to rott and never to see it again. (This is the worst thought of all and it gives me insomnia) My family seems to not know anything of this and won't understand, even when I cry lonely, I feel the pressure of my family to stop now. I miss it so much...
  10. Rescued baby dove died, can't get over it.

    Quick update: Sometimes I forget about Flimsy and I'm happy, but when in the morning I remember the day... Or in the afternoon I remember when I rescued it... It can't be a single day without crying... Just walking into my room gives me anxiety and I get sad again. And I feel like a really bad pet owner, the tought it died because I feed it little food, every large amounts of time. The first days I couldn't sleep because of that. And to make things worse, my family supported me on the next days after Flimsy's death. But now that 2 weeks passed they won't let me grief...
  11. Rescued baby dove died, can't get over it.

    Yes, my dad says that he has had so many losses over the years that he doesn't even care. As I said, my dad hates when I cry, and annoys my sister (My mom is almost never at home), so I have to cry very silently, which just seems to extend my grief. Explaining my feelings just seems to make my family angrier, I don't know how to handle this.
  12. Rescued baby dove died, can't get over it.

    Thanks, it makes me feel way better to know I'm not the only kid that loves birds . The problem, as I said, is that my father HATES when I cry, and says that if I keep crying, he will not let me rescue any other bird, which I totally understand, I mounted a show with my grief. But it's the very first time I got to rescue a baby bird (other times adults won't let me) and it's the VERY first time I have any kind of loss. But maybe it's normal to grief for a pet, that its my first lost, but it's been TWO WEEKS since then and I still cry. Not agonizing like the first 2 days but still loud. The only thing that temporarily distracts me is TV, and it's weird, I never watch TV normally. And to keep this painful to read: The same day I found my little Flimsy dead, we found ANOTHER baby dove abandoned, but this one has more than a month, it can fly and has TERROR of me. But I want to free it since it only makes me cry more, I haven't named it and I don't want to. At least I don't have to feed it, it already drinks and eats pierced wheat.
  13. On 3rd of December of this 2017, I found a fallen nest with 2 baby doves, one dead and the other knocked out. I rescued the knocked out one and named it Flimsy. During 10 days, I would feed it, give it a little space resembling a nest and a heating light. But on 13th, without any warning, I found it laid down, completely still and with a complete state of Rigor mortis. I was shocked, it wasn't sick or anything, it was fine the days before that, not even my father did found any illness! I ran crying to my mom and she hug me. (I'm 12 years old), but we had to go on a School event, which after it we borrowed Flimsy in my garden. 15 days after, and I still can't get over it. My father won't help either, he gets extremely mad at me for crying. Since almost nobody supported me I decided to make this post in a desperate attempt to seek help, since I think it's mentally ill to cry over something so stupid...
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