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Rich&sam1985

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About Rich&sam1985

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  1. Overcome with grief

    Thank you for your replies, in a way it gives me comfort knowing I’m not the only one going through this, selfish I know, but everything you have said has validated the way I feel. It has been a week now since Murron died and I feel like I have been through every emotion under the sun. At one point I felt like I had no tears left and it’s been difficult for my husband too, we’re not in sync with our grief which is hard as I manage to gather myself and then he starts to cry which results in us both sobbing and vice versa. He has been a tower of strength in other ways though, he put her belongings out of sight for the time being, dealt with the vet and insurance etc. I don’t blame my father in law for what happened, it was a tragic accident but I have been torturing myself with the ‘what ifs’, like what if we had arrived home earlier and we took her out instead or what if her harness and lead had been in the car with us and she couldn’t have been taken out? These thoughts plague me but I do know they will pass. As someone who doesn’t want children, I have found a tremendous amount of comfort in believing that Murron was put on this earth to show me what unconditional love feels like, she showed me that and beyond. I also feel, at times, that she was far too good for this earth. I’m not a religious person but I really do hope that she is somewhere having fun and will come to check in on us from time to time. Like the other day, I was exhausted and on the cusp of sleep when I heard a whining sound similar to that which Murron made when she wanted onto the bed with me and I could sense someone on the bed (even though I was alone) and I felt frightened to turn to look that’s how strong the feeling was. I said to my husband about it and he asked why I didn’t look, I regret not looking but I was scared as I don’t believe in that sort of thing. However, this feeling was so strong that other than exhaustion I can’t explain the sound or feeling. We have made the decision to adopt another fur baby into our lives as we have so much love to give to a dog and them to us. They will never replace our beautiful girl and will have mighty big paws to fill but we’re hoping that they will help mend the dog shaped hole in our hearts. This was a picture of our girl.
  2. Overcome with grief

    This morning the unthinkable happened. I lost my 5 month old puppy, the worst thing....she wasn’t hit by a car and she wasn’t ill, she got a fright whilst on a walk and my father in law accidentally dropped her lead. He ran after her but stepped on her tiny body and crushed her to death. He, as are our entire family, inconsolable. I don’t have children, but to me, she was my child, I have never experienced grief like this in my life. I can’t really explain just how I feel, it’s like it’s not sunk in yet and I’m dreading when it does. She should be running around like a lunatic as I write this but instead there is a deafening silence and eerie calmness in our home! I waited years for her and she was perfect, she was my shadow and I can’t begin to imagine our life without her in it (words I used recently when talking about how thankful I was she was in my life)! I wish that I knew when I would start to feel better but I don’t think I can ever get over this! She was my everything! I just want this pain to be gone!
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