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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Ash

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About Ash

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    Female
  • Loss Type
    Mom & Dad

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  1. sadandtired, I am so sorry you are going through such a profound loss. Your feelings are completely understandable and a normal part of the grieving process. Don't be too hard on yourself; this is a tough thing to go through. Do you have a support system or other family members you can get help from? This seems like too much to go through alone. It might even be beneficial to seek out a grief counselor or support group, if you feel comfortable with that. It can be a good way to let your feelings out in the open rather than keep them all inside. I know how it feels to struggle in doing the simplest of tasks; life can feel meaningless when going through the loss of a loved one. I miss my parents everyday and struggle to be productive. I found that distracting myself helps me cope sometimes, so I don't feel the sadness all at once. You are not alone, and I encourage you to take care of yourself and reach out to others for help. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
  2. @reader Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words. It can do good to be reminded that I'm not alone, especially when my grief makes me feel like it a lot of the time. @Whammy2 I have a few friends, but a lot of times they're either too busy, or I am. I do tend to hang out with people at least once a week, whenever I can find a good time that neither of us are too busy. Thank you for your concern. I know what you mean, because I'm still in denial and find myself being reminded by the little things that my friends might say about/do with their parents and family. This world is pretty messed up, I agree. It's really unfair and I feel angry a lot of the time that I'm only 18 and yet here I am without parents. @sadandlost Thank you for your comment. I bet it helped that you spent the holidays by yourself. My Christmas celebration felt so fake and just... wrong this year. It sucked, but I'm hanging in there. I ended up spending New Year's alone and I think it made things better for me that night. I realize though that things aren't ever going to feel the same again, and I don't expect it to.
  3. My parents passed away very close together (October and November) and I've already had to experience my first Christmas and Thanksgiving without them around. I've been feeling numb on and off ever since this all happened and now I keep crying on and off. I went bowling tonight with my godfathers family among a couple family members of my own, and that distracted me for awhile. But now that I'm home my emotions are starting to settle in... Christmas wasn't good this year, but this feels even worse. If things had worked out for the better, I'd be sitting in my grandma's dining room playing Dominos with my mom and a few other family members, while my dad lays on the floor and just chills with us. I don't even know anymore. Their absence hits even harder bc usually I'd spend New Years with fewer family members than Christmas. We'd go out to dinner and then watch the ball drop on the TV at my grandma's. I'd be with my brother, grandma, grandpa, mom, and dad. Including me, that's six of us. But my grandpa passed away 3 years ago and now that my parents are gone, that means half of our New Year's crew is missing. I'm home all by myself with my brother who I have never gotten along with, and my grandma went to bed when we took her home from bowling. I don't know what to do because frankly, whenever I cry I feel like I'm wasting my time. I'm also not sure whether I want to be alone, or with someone. I'm capable of driving, but I'm not sure if I'd want to go anywhere to see anyone as the weather is sorta crappy and I'm a bit of a new driver. I also can't really think of anyone who's really worth spending this holiday with. I don't know I just feel really alone but also stuck and I'm probably just being depressing but I seriously can't believe I'm going into 2018 without my parents.
  4. lena765, I am so sorry you had to go through that... it sounds like a tough way to spend Christmas for sure and I really hope you can get more support to make life feel more bearable. There's gotta be someone out there who cares - this community cares for sure. I know that grief is a very painful process and can make you feel isolated and alone a lot of the time. Still, I'm sorry for what you've had to endure this past couple of months. Is there any way you can possibly talk to a grief counselor to help you through this? Don't be afraid to reach out if you feel the need to. Just remember, you are not alone. We're here for you. I know I miss my parents and life just feels meaningless without them here sometimes. I understand how tough it can be... but like Amanda said, we gotta take it one day or one moment at a time. You are in my thoughts during this tough time.
  5. Dexyc88, I am so very sorry for your losses. This sounds like a very traumatic experience and, like reader suggested, seeking out a grief counselor may be a good option, especially since you're going through all this at such a young age. A support group may also be beneficial so you don't feel alone, to help you by relating to others who've experienced similar losses. I can't say I know exactly how you feel, because in all reality we all experience grief and loss differently. I can say, however, that I have dealt with the similar experience of being without parents at a young age. I'm 18 and lost my parents just this past October and November. I know it's unbearably painful to suddenly realize that you can no longer turn to the two people who raised you your whole life. It's a very tough thing to come to terms with, but if you ever need to talk to someone about it, or just a shoulder to cry on, don't hesitate to message me. I'm going through something similar and can relate to you on at least some level when it comes to no longer having parents in your life, so hopefully I can make you feel more comfortable. I'm sorry to hear that, on top of that, you're grieving for the loss of your brother, and that your other siblings aren't in close reach. I do hope that you all keep in contact and can still get at least some form of emotional support from each other. Do you have any other family members or close friends to call on during this difficult time? This is a lot for one person to go through, and I hope you have a good support system and help.
  6. @Whammy2 I'm so sorry for your loss. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. I'm 18 too and also experiencing the loss of my mom (and my dad) and I know how hurtful it can be to feel like your time with someone is cut too short. You don't have to go through this alone. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
  7. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Birthdays, holidays, and milestones can be really tough for those who have lost a loved one. I hope you were able to feel even a slight bit of peace or comfort that day. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
  8. Loss Holidays

    Still Rising, I'm so sorry for both of your losses. I just lost my parents this year and I understand how it feels to not want to hear others talking about their parents. But you definitely shouldn't feel bad for needing time alone and needing time to grieve. Dealing with the holidays definitely doesn't lessen the pain.
  9. mako7, I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. That sounds very unfortunate and unfair to all you. I wish I had the right words to comfort you, but I don't know what to say. The only thing I can suggest is for you to please take care of yourself and don't be afraid to reach out for help, you are not alone. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
  10. I can see where you're coming from. I've never really cared for the family gathering associated with Christmas because honestly, I didn't feel like I could relate to my family that well either. Now this'll be my first Christmas without both my parents and I'm honestly dreading it as well, I wish I could spend it alone too but I know my family will expect me there. I just can't help but feel empty and alone, and surrounding myself with my family will only remind me of my parents' absences. I can also see why you'd feel sad, angry, and not too comforted by your friend's words. It just doesn't feel so reassuring coming from someone who hasn't been through what you've been through, because they really DON'T have any idea. If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to message me anytime.
  11. Thank you very much for the concern. I have already been seeing a grief counselor and have a few family members who check in with me, but I mainly seek my godfather out for emotional support.
  12. Thank you very much for your suggestion and concern. I have been talking to a grief counselor for help about once a week, and I have a sibling but him and I have never gotten along, making the loss more difficult to deal with. I have other family members who check up on me frequently, and help out with the house because I live alone now.
  13. neo, I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your mother at an age like that. I know it can be tough, especially during your first year of college. Since you said you wanted people to relate to, I'll tell you my story in hopes that it can help you to know you're not alone. I am 18 as well and also just starting college. I lost my mother in October, then my dad in November. I am not going to say I know how you feel, because every person's grief is different. I can empathize with you on at least some level though, so I hope you take at least some comfort in my story to know you're not alone on this road. It's going to be tough, and I know it'll be hard to find peers who react to you in an appropriate way. But you are not expected to act like you're okay after going through something like this; the truth is, those people just don't understand. Give yourself the time and space you need to heal, and take care of yourself through this difficult time. <3
  14. .

    Wanderlust83, I am sorry for your loss, but you really aren't alone. People are here to support you, even if you don't get responses right away. It may not feel like it now, but people really do care. You are in my thoughts and prayers <3
  15. Daddysgirl515, I am very sorry for your loss. I know it must be tough. The only advice I can really give is to allow yourself time to heal and don't put a time limit on your grief, let yourself feel what you are feeling and take care of yourself. Remember that you are not alone and that people are willing to help you cope with this sudden loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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