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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Robbie Star

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  1. I'm all done now

  2. I'm all done now

  3. I'm all done now

    Yeah I could be sitting here grumbling to myself about something and Bob would drag this worn out little stuffed monkey over to my feet then he'd nudge me until I popped up and said OH HELLO MONKEY BOY. Then he'd turn circles until I acted like I was the monkey talking to him. And throw it across the room just to start the whole charade over again. It's hard to stay out of sorts very long with that being a daily ritual.
  4. I'm all done now

    It feels like a curse. I was robbed by homeless ppl I tried to help. My roommate met a girl a week ago and up and moves out leaving me with the full rent which I don't have now on top of everything else at first of month. Also I had loaned him 300 at Christmas he was going to pay back when he got his ss check today. I admit I didn't know him well before he moved in a few months ago...to replace the PREVIOUS roommate who had also screwed me over. Between taking 4 friends to diiner and drinks Christmas Eve (I'd invited them on Thanksgiving day) I'm screwed but you know what I don't even care. Ppl have always used me but no more. Now here I am in this empty tomb...WITHOUT BOB. I swear if I still had my little guy all this other stuff would just be a slight headache. I don't get it. Why I'm still here. I bet there's pl who would think yeah she SHOULD be done who can blame her?? Then last night I had the most terrifying dream of my whole life. Too terrible to even tell. Well thanks for letting me tell my pathetc story. It helps somehow to write it down here.
  5. I'm all done now

    Hello All, I'm not doing okay. I seem to be having a breakdown. I have to go back to the name of my thread...I'm all done. I feel like I need to be somewhere, some kind of safe place. Oh idk what i feel except scared and numb. This is the lowest point of my life. I tried to pill out of it and i think bc of Christmas. I didn't want to foul that up for anyone. I can't ever let my defenses down I think bc I feel like I'd be a burden to others. Idk that's just how I've always been. Yesterday I thought about driving off the bridge near my apartment. But I was afraid I wouldn't die I'd just freeze half to death in the water while being rescued. I didn't know losing a pet could be this disastrous. Idk what or why or how or nothing. I feel I'm losing my mind. I can't do this.
  6. I'm all done now

    Happy New Year to my newfound friends. I know we need to try to be positive. I'm doing good just putting on foot in front of the other Sometimes I think I'll bust and I can't get my phone fast enough to put down my thoughts here. But I don't expect a reply every time. It just helps me to put my feelings in words. You've all already said everything under the sun to ease my burden. And you've done just that. And I'm so grateful. It's time I started reading the other posts and trying to offer some kindness to others like you all do so much.
  7. I'm all done now

    And giys im not expect>ng a reply Im just soumding iff. AJWCat I'll never forgive myself. I should have watched closer. But he usually stayed by me. He was a scaredy cat and wanted to stay by mom. I am very thankful he didnt suffer. He was killed instantly. OMG if I had gotten to the street and foumd him suffering? My mind can't even go there. So I guess God did know I had my limits.
  8. I'm all done now

    Thanks a lot AJWCat. I positively hate this life now. I never knew there could be so many trigger words and trigger sounds and trigger images. Everything reminds me of my little Bob. And am I losing my mind?? Ive imagined it I guess but I'll feel a little bump at the recliner I sit in and I look around to see if it's Bob. I'll hear a dog barking that sounds like Bob and actually get up to look outside. I'm still not accepting this. And I'm angry. And sad. And all the negative things i can think of. I loved to cook but no more. I loved to walk.Listen to music etc etc. Did I depend on my dog that much? I know me pretty well. I don't see life without him. I know he's alive on the other side. But this side sucks with him gone.
  9. I'm all done now

    Maria, thank you sweet lady. It is a little goofy I know...my amatuer attempt at prose lol. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, it goes back to the dream I had 4 days after Bob's passing. I know now my dream was a gift from God. (Of which I wasn't worthy.)
  10. I'm all done now

    I am so thankful for the friends I found here... Our angel babies are nudging each other, saying Yeah that's MY mom that wrote that! Oh yeah? That's cool dude...MY mom's been answering her back. We're going to be with ALL of our precious children again. I saw this in a dream. But that aside. Consider that our Lord and Savior is returning on a white horse. I kinda don't think that after Jesus has made His triumphant return that He's gonna say hey thanks for the ride, now move along. No, the lion will lay down with the lamb. And we'll lay down with our beloved animals. Hallelujah!!!
  11. Overcome with grief

    There's not much to add to the previous replies except just to let you know I understand... I'm going thru the same thing only my precious boy was hit by a car. I've had many losses before. Idk if it's just this particular time in my life or what, but I've never known grief like this. I'll never find another Bob. Two weeks ago I was ready to die. But now I'm feeling a little stronger. Posting at this forum was monumental in being able to get ahold of this. I'll pray for you to find some comfort. Keep posting here until you've said everything you need to say. I'm so very sorry.
  12. Please help

    Dear Sammybear-- I'm going thru the same thing. My precious boy only 4 years old was lost in a fleeting tragic accident 2 weeks ago. I tore my apartment up. I lost my mind. I wanted to die too, and actually considered it for several days. I loved him more than all the pets I'd had put together, and I loved them all too. That was 2 weeks ago. And tho I'm no longer considering the most drastic measure, I still have a knot in my stomach and I don't see ever getting over it. But, like others said, with time I find I'm doing a little better. Maybe in 2 more weeks I'll be feeling even better. These pets that we loved and lost never laid one stone in our path like ppl can do. They only loved us with pure love. It's so hard. But as Ema said keep posting. If you want to scream, scream. Pour your feelings out here. No one will judge you. They've all felt and been through the very same thing. I'm saying a prayer that you get some comfort. I'm so sorry for you and your husband.
  13. I'm all done now

    I WANT MY BABY BACK. I'll never find another dog like him. I don't think I've ever been this low. Truly, I don't think I'll ever know real, carefree happiness again. I know you all miss yours as much. I'm sorry for us all. Thanks for all the kind words.
  14. I'm all done now

    Oh my oh my oh my. KMB and KARLA, AJWcat. Maria, KayC, Ema. All of you so generously give of yourselves to help others, in spite of your own anguish. Not predictable cut and paste. But from the bottom of your hearts. Don't think your words and time have been wasted on me. A week ago I was ready to call it quits but you all lifted me up again and again. You allowed me to express my anger sadness guilt and love for Bob. Not once was I criticized. It has made it possible for me to see a tiny glimmer of light breaking through. I thank each of you so very much!
  15. I'm all done now

    IT'S JUST TIME THAT'S ALL. Time to stop beating around the bush and address the white elephant. Bob's death was entirely my fault. We stepped out front and I was more interested in reading a text than watching my dog. He wandered down the sidewalk and BAM he got what he DIDN'T deserve. I got what I DID deserve. So time to keep it real now. You all know this is the truth. But thank you just the same for trying to help me. I didn't deserve such a precious little baby. I always knew that, in fact I told Bob that often. I wish a more conscientious person had him. He'd still be here. It is what it is now. I'm not asking for sympathy anymore. It's time I stopped skating around the truth. I'm so sorry little angel. You should still be here, chasing the squirrels and licking the faces of every man woman and child who got within your range. I don't blame you for jumping from my arms. You we're the best little friend anyone could have. You brought smiles to so many faces.