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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Rash

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About Rash

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  1. Broken

    Thank you so much!!! I completely understand the guilt you feel. Today at work I tried so hard to focus on my job and I couldn't. She always popped up in my mind and I would have to fight back the tears or let out a loud sigh. I keep remembering the way she would lay next to me while I was sleeping. She would cuddle up underneath my arm and next to my face. Just the thought of never feeling her fur again.... it turns my stomach into a knot. Thank you for the articles and thank you again for sharing. I know how difficult it can be to bring up those memories.
  2. Broken

    Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I sent my girlfriend the link to the page so she can see all of the encouraging, helpful things you have all told us. She told me she wished she could reach through the Internet and hug each and everyone of you. It's not that we have been searching for some magical saying that would take away the pain of losing Nala. We've just been trying to find understanding from others, that know how it feels. That wouldn't just blow it off as just another "pet" or some mystical reason.
  3. Broken

    Thank you so much for your kind words. Her and I both have just been so mad at those around us for not understanding what we were feeling and going through. We keep getting comments like "this happened for a reason" and "maybe you just adopt another cat". I just can't wrap my head around the cosmic reasoning of her passing and right now feels to damn soon to be thinking of another cat.
  4. Broken

    Yesterday I made the hardest decision of my life.... this cat was my best friend for 12 years. I had her since I was 16. The great thing about her is that she chose me. I went to the pet shop just to look around. As I was leaving I look at the window of the store and up she pops and meows at me. I ran back inside and asked them to put her aside for me so I can pick her up the next day. My parents were so mad at me. Totally worth it though. She would become my best friend and the best companion I could ask for. A couple years back I had been diagnosed with anxiety. That first month was hell. But Nala(my cat) was there with me through it all. I had some tough days and nights, but she was always there for me to cuddle with. She was MY pet, she liked no one but me. That is, until my current girlfriend. I'd never seen Nala act that way towards anyone but me. And Nala's behavior towards my girlfriend is one of the things that made me realize she is the woman I want to marry (probably sounds crazy). My girlfriend loves her also. We just recently moved into our first home together. But before that, I noticed Nala had lost some weight. I was so busy with the process of buying a home that I didn't think much of it. Well we moved in and about 4 days after we got settled, we brought her to the new house And that's when I noticed how bad it truly was. We waited a few days thinking maybe it was the food and now coupled with the stress of moving she might just be freaking out. Well Friday hit and I had gone to work. When I got there I text my girlfriend and asked her to take Nala to the Vet and that I'd meet her there as soon as I got off. When I arrived, they were doing blood tests to see what was wrong. Everything came back ok except the blood work on the liver. I started to tear up. The vet said we had 3 options. 1.) put her on iv's and meds and they would keep her overnight. 2.) bring her to a specialist up in the next town. 3.)put her down. I chose the first option in hopes that it was just the lack of nutrients that was causing her condition. That night I had returned home, a sobbing mess. Hoping and praying that she would pull through. Unfortunately that wasn't the case. I received a phone call at 10 in the morning from the vet. Nala didn't get worse, but didn't improve either. I still had the 2nd option but the vet said she might not make it through the weekend. I told her we'd come visit and I would decide when I got there. We got there and eventually they brought her into a room with us. She was covered in a blanket pissed off. It made me laugh, the way she was meowing. But when we pulled the blanket back, I had realized that she did get worse. The vet left us alone after telling us that Nala was putting her head up against the wall in her cage and it also seemed that she had gone blind. She wasn't the same, something seemed horribly different. I had started to cry cause I knew what I had to do. I didn't want to leave her in a cage to die alone without us. I made the most difficult decision of putting her down. I held her as they injected her. Watching her go limp in my arms...... I lost it. I couldn't stop crying, seeing my little baby, my best friend pass right before my eyes. It made me sick to my stomach. We brought her home to bury her in our yard. We had family over, looking at our new house. I asked my mom to show them around as i dug Nala's grave. My girlfriend and I buried her and then she went back to work and I visited with my family for a bit. Fighting back the pain and tears. As soon as they left, the flood gates opened. I've never felt this empty pain before. Knowing that I will never see my sweet little Nala again..... it tearing me apart. I can't wrap my head around why this happened. She didn't deserve this. She was my best friend and the greatest companion A guy like me could ask for. I can't go 5 minutes without realizing the horrible truth that she is gone. And I start to cry again. Maybe if I had acted sooner..... she would still be with us. All I know is that I miss her so f****** much. My girlfriend and I are just Heart broken. I'd give anything to have her back!!!! My mind just keeps replaying all of these memories and moments..... all just for me to realize I will never have another moment or memory with her again. I can't say it enough, I love her and miss her so much.
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