On Monday December 4th I had to put my dog down unexpectedly. He was 7 years old and I had, had him since he was 7.5 weeks old. I had trained him to be by my side since the day i got him, i have high anxiety, panic attacks, struggle with depression etc so he was my companion. Whenever I would go in a room he would follow me, he was my shadow. He had been having bathroom problems so we took him into the vet and they did some tests and gave us some meds. It didn't work, he stopped eating so three days later we took him back and he did more tests and everything was alright, so they gave him two injections. It worked for 24 hrs he ate well and his bathroom situation was getting better. Then everything positive stopped. He wouldn't eat, his bathroom situation was BAD, and he wasn't okay. So on Monday I made an emergency appointment for him and he didn't want to get out of the car when we got to the vets office. Thankfully my husbands mother works as a vet tech at the place we took him so she was able to help me get him out of the car. We got into the room and the vet came into the room and started to check him over and then that is when she felt his neck. His lymph nodes were swollen really bad so she took xrays and confirmed it. He had cancer and she would be surprised if he made it 48 more hours and he was in a lot of pain. So I called my husband so he could come say goodbye. I never expected to loose my baby that day. He was in a lot of pain and we had to do the kindest thing we could. I am not handling this well at all. I feel alone even though technically I'm not. My husband has a dog so there is still one in the house but he isn't my dog. I don't know who I am without my dog, he was such a huge part of my day/life. I cry everyday and miss him so badly. I know everyone says it will get better and it is still new but I really just am so lost. I lost a huge part of my heart that day in that vets office.