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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Aida

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About Aida

  • Rank
    Aida
  • Birthday 03/03/1960

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Loss Type
    Husband

Converted

  • Occupation
    preschool teacher
  1. I lost my husband on September 22nd this year. We were married for almost 35 years and I don't know how to live without him. We did not have easy life at all. We left Bosnia because of the war at 1992, lived in Germany until 1998 and than we came to Boston. We worked very hard from the second we came here. Two years ago our youngest move out and we were finally ready to travel and enjoy the life. On September 8th he complained about stomach pain. He was tired and started sweeting excessively. On September 11th he went to his doctor and we waited for blood test for few days. He was feeling more and more tired. On Friday our youngest daughter took my husband to emergency room. After work I went to store and bought his favorite food, thinking he'll be back from the hospital soon. The doctors find out something on his liver and he stayed in the hospital. In next few days we find out he has stomach cancer stage lV and infection spread from one to another organ. On September 21st his kidneys give up. He died at ICU day after. I don't remember these seven days to much, especially the last day at ICU. Did I kiss him and hugged him enough, did I give him hope, did I show him my love? I don't remember. I miss him so much, I think I died together with him. I can imagine him walking in the house and talking to me. I am craying constantly. I put myself together and go to work during the day and than go home to my sadness. I don't have any friends, we were very quiet people. My youngest daughter and my son they come to visit me and sometimes they stay overnight in the house. They are dealing with loss much easier than me, they have their own lives. My husband was my best friend, my love, my life. My children want me to stop talking about him and stop crying. They think I am crazy. I am not crazy, I am hurt, I am in pain. I think that God punished me and took him away from me. I don't know what to do. I don't care about anything. I just want to disappear. Thank you for letting me to share my story. Sorry, my English is not my forte.
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